


Deep Breath of Flames

by melblue



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Kíli, Alpha Thorin, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bonding, Dubious Consent, Durincest, First Time, Fluff, Incest, Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Fíli, Omega Verse, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:40:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 49,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8353693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melblue/pseuds/melblue
Summary: Fili always thought he would be an Alpha… how could he have been so wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I read the excellent Fever in the Deep (http://archiveofourown.org/works/741183) by windchijmes and then I stumbled across this pic (http://fili-the-sexy-dwarf.deviantart.com/art/I-See-Fire-414524132) (original artwork by aegileif - http://aegileif.deviantart.com/gallery/47001640/Shirtless-portraits). The plot bunnies started breeding and here we have the result. I’m a bit astonished by it but there you go. 
> 
> At first I was writing it just for me, just to get it out of my head. I wasn’t going to post it because I wasn’t sure how I felt about it and at times it felt like navigating a minefield. I did a lot of rewrites. But, in the end, I’d spent so much time on it (when, ahem, I should have been writing other stuff) and it had gotten so long, that I thought I’d put it out there. So, for better or worse, here it is... a bit of a guilty pleasure. 
> 
> HEED THE WARNINGS:  
> This story is dub con. Whilst there are no dark characters in this, all of the characters are in the position of having to make the best of what biology (dwarfology?) has handed them.
> 
> It’s also Durincest (and Ori/Nori/Dwalin) – in this society it’s not taboo but if it squicks you then obviously do not read.
> 
> This story is an au. The Dwarven culture in this is based on Tolkien's dwarven culture but there are going to be some differences, mainly because of the Omega verse aspect. As for the Omega verse - I've read many different incarnations of it, this counts as another one. One thing to note is that there is no possibility of male pregnancy in this Omega verse. 
> 
> Side note on the dwarves/dwarrow thing:  
> As Tolkien himself pointed out the real historical plural of dwarf is ‘dwarrows’ or ‘dwerrows’ but as a ‘private piece of bad grammar’ he chose to use the word ‘dwarves’. As it’s now common usage I’ve decided to follow his example!

Fili is laying out an intricate design of diamonds and sapphires when Kili storms into his chamber and slams the heavy oak door behind him. Fili startles and silently curses when gems fly all over the table and his work of the last half hour is all undone.

"Thank you, Kili," he says dryly, and without turning he can tell that Kili is glaring at him. His brother has been in a strange temper all week, either oddly lethargic, or full of frenetic energy, one moment laughing, and the next practically growling at anyone who comes near him. It’s odd, Fili reflects, for Kili is usually good-tempered. The thought makes him turn and look at his brother curiously.

It is three years now since they reclaimed Erebor and they have long since recovered from their wounds. Illness is unheard of in dwarves so it can’t be that, but something has certainly stirred in his brother, and Fili has had enough of being glowered at.

"Want to tell me what your problem is?"

Kili gives him an unusual look, one full of heat that Fili can’t define.

"I’ve changed," Kili says in a flat voice.

Fili raises an eyebrow. "Well, if this is what you’ve changed into, would you mind changing back? And preferably before you break the door of my chambers."

"I _can’t_ ," Kili says. The look on his face tells Fili that Kili expects him to understand what he’s talking about but Fili can only frown in confusion. Then, slowly, it dawns on him and his eyes widen in astonishment.

"You can’t have," he says. "You’re only eighty."

"Well, I have," Kili replies, prowling around the room. "You know it happens early sometimes."

And really, it’s all too clear now. Kili’s mood swings, the extra aggression; clues that all lead to one conclusion. His brother has begun maturing into an Alpha. It’s quite extraordinary - not extraordinary that he’s an Alpha - but that Fili…

"But _I_ haven’t," Fili says, completing the thought. "And I’m older. It’s not…" _fair_ , he wants to say. He holds it back in time but Kili looks a bit stricken all the same.

"I can’t help it," he says, and he’s turning that melting dark-eyed look on Fili that nearly always makes him surrender.

Fili sighs. "I know."

Still it’s annoying that this has happened yet again for Fili is the one who is of the right age to make the change. Kili is younger than him by a full five years, but once again it is Kili who has taken the lead, as he has taken the lead in so many other things - choosing a Craft, his first hunting kill, almost everything. His mother had always told him that it was because Kili was more impulsive and Fili was less reckless, so it was a good thing that Fili was the Heir… but sometimes Fili just wishes that Kili would slow down a little.

"Your time will come soon," Kili tells him, almost absently, and Fili answers him silently with a nod.

"What’s it like?" Fili asks curiously. He hasn’t really thought too much about the final change, other than his awareness that he’s been nearing his time, but now that Kili is going through it, he wonders just how difficult it is.

Kili pulls a face. "Interesting," he says. "It started a couple of weeks ago, slowly at first. I began noticing attractions I’ve never had before. You know what I mean…"

Fili nods. Although he doesn’t know what exactly the ‘attractions’ that Kili is talking about feel like, he does know that they start to develop once the process of maturing begins.

"Then about a week ago it got worse. Like an itch that just wouldn’t go away. Mahal, I really needed to _just_ …"

He trails off and Fili notices that one of Kili’s hands is clenching and unclenching. He can see the tension running through Kili’s body but it looks different somehow to the tension of battle and Fili can’t imagine what it must feel like.

"So, ah, did you…" he prompts, when Kili continues to just stand there, staring at the wall.

"Did I what?" Kili finally looks at him, with a strangely amused look that suddenly makes Fili feel as if he is the younger of them. "If you’re asking me if I’ve fucked someone, then the answer is yes. But it wasn’t enough. I need to _knot_."

Fili’s face burns. Kili has always been more plain-spoken, has never been cautious with his words, and it seems he’s not going to start now. In fact Fili strongly suspects that Kili has gone out of his way to be so provocative because he knows, and enjoys the fact, that Fili finds it embarrassing. He wonders why he always lets Kili get away with it but at the same time he’s distracted by his concern over what Kili has said. Because if he’s bedded someone without knotting then it means he was with a Beta. He can’t imagine his brother bonding hastily so if he wants an Omega, and one in Heat, it can only mean one thing.

"I’m going to the Halls of the Unbonded," Kili says firmly, confirming Fili’s suspicions.

"But you can’t," Fili says, so shocked he’s almost spluttering and Kili shoots him another amused look. It’s almost patronising and it irritates Fili so much that he stares heavily at his brother until Kili’s smile fades.

"You don’t know how this feels," Kili says, his eyes pleading with Fili to understand. "Thorin’s told me that it will get easier, that it will settle. But it’s too much, Fili, and I don’t have any other option."

"Thorin doesn’t go there," Fili says, "and you know mother wouldn’t approve."

"Well, she’s not here, is she," Kili says, and his smile is strained because he’s never fully accepted their mother’s decision to bond with a dwarf from the Iron Hills. "And she’s always been a bit judgemental about the Omegas, you know that. As for Thorin, he isn’t a new Alpha, he’s had plenty of time to learn his control."

"Besides," he adds, directing a look at Fili that Fili can’t fathom, "he knows what he’s waiting for, has known for a long time. I’ve only just found out and as much as I’d like to wait, I need this _now_."

Fili doesn’t understand much of that and he’s even more confused when he sees that Kili hasn’t expected him to. He’s silent for a moment to see if his brother will explain but he’s not surprised when Kili just shrugs and looks apologetic.

"You’ve talked to Thorin?" Fili finally asks.

" _He’s_ talked to _me_ ," Kili corrects, and the glint of laughter is back in his eyes. "I’m only taking his advice."

"He told you to go to the Unbonded Halls?" Fili is astonished and can’t conceal it.

"He told me to do what I needed to do," Kili responds. "That’s what he does when it gets too much. He might be able to go without knotting but he’s still an Alpha. Many Beta males have welcomed him to their bed."

Fili is not surprised. Whilst Thorin is a formidable Alpha with powerful control he still has the Alpha’s strong mating drive… and he is unbonded for Omega males are rare. It doesn’t happen often but Fili knows that sometimes Thorin mates with some of the Beta male dwarves.

"Fili."

Kili’s low voice breaks into his thoughts and he looks up surprised at his brother’s sudden proximity. Kili is standing over him. He’s always been slightly taller, and Fili predicts that in the next few months, as he has his final Alpha growth spurt, he’ll end up taller still.

"What?"

Kili winds a finger in one of Fili’s braids.

"As soon as I’ve done what I have to, I’ll do the same."

Fili frowns. "What?" he repeats.

"I’m saying that as soon as I can, I’ll do the same as Thorin does."

"Oh… that’s… yes… well, fine," Fili stammers. He suspects that Kili is trying to reassure him and charm him out of his obvious disapproval, but the intent look on his face is oddly unnerving.

To Fili’s relief, after a moment Kili smiles. "I’ll see you when I get back."

"Oh… um… all right," Fili says, awkward with the knowledge of where his brother is going.

After Kili is gone - closing the door quietly this time - Fili leans against his workbench and thinks back over the conversation. Some of it hadn’t made sense but he supposes that’s normal when he hasn’t made the change yet himself. The whole Alpha, Beta, Omega situation has been in the background of his adult life for many years now but he hasn’t really thought about it for a long time. He suspects that with Kili having matured it will now have more impact on his life and he tries to recall what he knows.

Most of it he learned in the early days, way back in Ered Luin, in the Halls of Rearing when he lived there with his mother. Later Kili had been there too, and whilst at first Fili had thought that Kili was a noisy annoying mess who dribbled on him whenever he was forced to hold him, later they had been inseparable.

The first time he’d heard of Alphas, Betas and Omegas had been when Nori had been on one of his visits to the Halls to see his mother and younger brother, Ori, who was one of Fili’s playmates. The three of them had found a dark corner (one of the few times Kili hadn’t been with them) and Nori had spoken of matters that Fili really hadn’t understood. Now he wonders just how much Nori himself had truly understood at the time.

But his first real true knowledge of it all had come from his mother when he’d been about to leave the Halls of Rearing.

Fili settles in a chair by his fireplace and loses himself in memory, surprised at just how much of that conversation he still recalls so clearly.

 

* * *

 

_Fili is fifteen and it is finally time for him to leave the Halls of his infancy and join his friend, Ori, in the Halls of Training. He is excited to be leaving the Halls of Rearing; it is his first step to becoming an adult dwarf. He will learn about the Crafts and find his own, and he will learn to wield a real weapon instead of the wooden swords and axes that the dwarflings play with. His only regret is that he will be leaving Kili behind and it hurts him to see the despondency in Kili’s dark eyes as he watches Fili packing up his belongings._

_"I don’t want you to go. Not without me," Kili finally says, his eyes wide with the pleading look that has won Fili over to him many times. Fili sighs because he knows that this time Kili will be disappointed._

_"I know," he says, gripping Kili’s shoulder. "And I wish you could come with me but you know that I have to go. I promise I’ll visit you a lot. And the time will pass quickly and you’ll join me and then we’ll always be together. This is the only time we’ll be separated, I promise."_

_Kili sighs and pouts but he laughs when Fili tugs on a lock of his dark hair._

_"Have you finished packing?"_

_It is his mother’s voice and Fili turns to see her standing in the doorway of his chamber. She nods at Kili._

_"Run along, Kili. I need to talk to your brother."_

_Kili looks mutinous for a moment but his mother watches him steadily until he gives up and leaves and then she takes a seat on Fili’s bed, holding out a hand to him._

_"Come Fili, sit down. There is much I must tell you before you go."_

_Fili sits and his mother pats his hand._

_"You won’t live in the Halls the way that the other young ones do," she begins, and Fili’s eyes widen with surprise._

_"You are the Crown Prince, the Heir," she reminds him. "You will live in the Halls of Royalty as befits your status."_

_"With Uncle Thorin?" Fili asks, almost breathless with wonder at the idea._

_He has only seen his Uncle a handful of times and he still remembers his first sight of the tallest and strongest dwarf he has ever seen._

_He had been speechless when Thorin had turned his piercing blue gaze upon Fili, and when he had spoken the deep, warm velvet of his voice had made Fili_ _burn_ _to perform great deeds for him. Later he and Kili would hear the tales of their Uncles’s adventures, of his prowess in battle during the war with the Orc’s and at the Battle of Azanulbizar and it would ignite their fervour and admiration of their Uncle even further. Eventually Fili’s hero worship_ _would be_ _tempered by familiarity but Thorin’s regal bearing_ _would_ _always be apparent to him._

_"Thorin lives there, yes," his mother continues, breaking into Fili’s memories. "But he travels often and he has many duties, remember that."_

_Fili nods, determined to never be a burden to his Uncle._

_"What about Kili? And you?" he asks, and his mother smiles._

_"Yes, when Kili leaves these halls he will join you there but I will_ _go_ _to the Halls of Weaponry, for that is my_ _C_ _raft, and I am more comfortable there than in the Halls of Royalty."_

 _It is no surprise to Fili; he knows that his mother is one of the best swordsmiths in Ered Luin and that she has missed the companionship of others in her_ _C_ _raft._

 _"You will have more freedom now, Fili," his mother continues. "Here you have been confined to these Halls and its gardens, but now you will be free to go where you wish. However, there_ _is one_ _place you still should not go. You have heard the terms Alpha, Beta and Omega many times, but now you must understand what they mean. What do you know of them already?"_

_"I know that Uncle is an Alpha," he says. "And that you are a Beta, as was father. I think Ori’s mother is an Omega, but I’m not certain."_

_"Yes, some of those here are Omegas, Fili, but they are rearing dwarflings and many of them are_ _here with their_ _bond-mates._ _Outside of these Halls you will meet many Omegas both bonded and unbonded. Bonded Omegas live in the Halls of their_ _C_ _raft or in the Halls of their bond-mates. Unbonded Omegas live in the Halls of their Craft except for certain times when they go to the Halls of the Unbonded. You must not try to explore those Halls, Fili, the guards there will detain you if you attempt to enter. Only unbonded Omegas and unbonded Alphas go there."_

_"Then I could go there when I'm an Alpha," Fili nods._

_His mother looks amused. "Yes, there are many Alphas in the male Durin line but there are some Betas too, you know."_

_"I know, but I’m going to be an Alpha like Uncle," Fili assures her._

_"You have many years yet before you make th_ _at_ _change, my son."_

 _"Why aren’t you an Alpha, mother?" Fili asks. When he’d first heard his mother was a Beta he had wondered at it but, sensing that it was quite a personal topic, he had never found the courage to ask. Now seem_ _s_ _like the perfect_ _moment_ _._

 _"There are never female Alphas, Fili," his mother tells him. "You know that there are far fewer female dwarves than males, and the majority of them are Beta. Male dwarves can be Alpha, Beta, or Omega," at Fili’s surprised look she nods, "yes, there are male Omegas, but they are more rare, and they cannot bear dwarflings. In general, there are more Beta dwarves than there are Alphas or Omegas, and there are yet still more Alphas than Omegas. Alpha dwarves are_ _stronger, larger, powerful and more dominant. They also have the power in their voice to influence, and in battle to command. Betas, both male and female, are steady, strong and work well in groups. Omegas are quieter, they can be very creative and they are also fine strategists, they seem to have good minds for compromise and negotiation. You will often find a good trader is an Omega. But as well as that, in certain situations they are more... er... well, submissive. I’m not talking about in battle, you understand," she adds, and Fili realises she must have seen his frown of confusion. "A male Omega can make a very fine warrior, quick and agile in ways that Alphas and Betas are not. I’m talking about in matters of a… ah… private nature."_

_"Do you mean mating?" Fili asks, still confused, and Dis flushes a deep red._

_"Well, that makes it easier," she says. "Yes I mean mating, Fili. You know that we mate but don’t always bond?"_

_Fili nods. "Ori’s brother Nori told us about it one time they were visiting."_

_"Hmmm, it would be him, of course," Dis murmurs. "Early signs of an Alpha, indeed. He’s coming close to his time."_

_"His time?" Fili asks, then nods when he realises that his mother means the time when an adult dwarf will make the final change and mature into an Alpha, Beta, or an Omega._

_"He is almost eighty and whilst the usual time of sexual maturity is around eighty-five that family has always been precocious. What exactly did he tell you?"_

_"Only that unbonded Omegas will turn over for any Alpha’s knot," Fili says, frowning. "And that an unbonded Alpha will plough any Beta or Omega who is willing. I didn’t really understand what he meant."_

_His mother makes a strange choking sound, and later, when Fili knows exactly what he has repeated (to his everlasting embarrassment and now he wonders if that’s why he isn’t as plain-spoken as Kili), he understands why._

_"Really, that dwarf," she finally says in a dry voice. "Fili, I want you to promise me that you’ll never repeat any of that again. Ever. To anyone. Particularly your brother." She pauses for a moment. "And definitely not to your Uncle either."_

_"All right, mother," Fili agrees, but he’s not going to lose the opportunity he now has to find out exactly what Nori was talking about. "_ _But w_ _hat’s a knot? And what’s an Omega’s_ _H_ _eat?"_

 _Dis closes her eyes. "He mentioned th_ _ose_ _too?"_

_Her voice sounds weary and Fili isn’t surprised at the tired look she gives him when she opens her eyes._

_"Kili wasn’t there at the time was he?"_

_Fili shakes his head._

_"Well, that’s something at least. I’m already dreading having this conversation with him as it is and I’d like some time to recover before I have to go through this again."_

_"Very well," Dis continues, and Fili notices that the colour is again high in her cheeks. "You have been taught the differences between the female and male dwarf but an Alpha has something extra and it’s the reason why all Alphas are male. It is a… swelling… in their shaft, called a knot, which only appears when they mate with an Omega in_ _H_ _eat._ _"_

_Fili frowns thoughtfully because that just sounds… uncomfortable… as far as he can see but he supposes that when he’s an Alpha it will probably all make sense._

_"But what is the Heat?" he asks._

_"Well," his mother says, after clearing her throat, "it’s a time when the Omega needs the … ah… needs to be satisfied by the knot of an Alpha. It happens every couple of months. Fortunately they don’t all go into Heat at the same time for it lasts for a few days; and it is the reason why they will only mate or bond with Alphas."_

_"So, why is it that some of them are unbonded? Aren’t there enough Alphas?"_

_Dis frowns. "I don’t know, Fili. I’ve never really understood that myself. There are more Alphas than Omegas, presumably because it takes a lot of... well... energy to satisfy an Omega in Heat. One Alpha alone cannot do it. But for some reason, not all Omegas choose to bond, preferring to mate with any Alpha they choose. But bonded Omegas will only mate with their bonded Alphas, and you must remember this, Fili, for bonded Alphas are possessive of their Omega, particularly during a Heat._ _At that time they will only allow the presence of the other bonded Alpha, for there are usually two, and at least one of th_ _em_ _of the same blood."_

_"Same blood?" Fili asks._

_"Not parents and their children you understand," Dis says, "that blood tie does not happen. But cousins, siblings, the offspring of siblings."_

_"Do you mean that Kili and I…?"_

_Dis nods. "Yes, if one of you was Alpha and one of you Omega, you could bond together. That is the only way that you would feel a blood tie attraction."_

_It would certainly be a way of keeping his promise to Kili that they’d never be separated again, Fili thought, but as Kili was as unlikely to be an Omega as Fili was, it would probably never really be possible._

_"You don’t need to think about any of this for a long time yet," his mother says. "All you need to know for now is that unbonded Omegas go to the Halls of the Unbonded when they are in Heat_ _and that it is not at all appropriate for you to go there, no matter how curious you may be. Only unbonded Alphas go there and, of course, the Unbonded Halls guards have to."_

_The tone of his mother’s voice makes Fili think that she doesn’t entirely approve of the Halls of the Unbonded and those who visit there._

_"Are they so bad, then?" he asks._

_Dis stands and begins to gather up Fili’s packed satchels._

_"No," she says quietly. "_ _They’re not_ _bad_ _,_ _but it is hard for me, as a Beta, to understand them, particularly the ones who choose not to bond. Beta dwarves are more settled,_ _they only take one bond-mate, and_ _they are not held hostage by their natures the way that Omegas are, poor things. Even Alphas, with their high… um… appetites_ _…_ _have more control than Omegas. There are many of the unbonded Alphas who don’t go to the Halls, preferring longer associations with Beta’s even if they can’t have the fuller satisfaction of knotting with them. There are also many who prefer to mate with males, your Uncle and Dwalin are of their number, and they are unbonded because Omega males are_ _rare._ _In fact, there hasn’t been an Omega male here for many years._ _"_

_Fili still isn’t sure he completely understands but he does get the feeling that his mother doesn’t really think that the life of an Omega is an easy or desirable one. Later he will learn that many Beta dwarves pity them._

_"Now it is near time for you to go," Dis says in a pained voice. "If you have further questions, there will be others to answer them in the Halls of Training." She holds up a finger and smiles. "Not Nori."_

_Fili laughs, although his mind is whirling with all that he has learnt. "Not Nori," he agrees._

 

* * *

 

Fili smiles to himself as he remembers that his mother had been right about Nori because shortly after that he _had_ matured into an Alpha… and he’d spent his fair share of nights in the Halls of the Unbonded.

Until Ori had matured… and that had been the next time that the issue of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas had intruded into Fili’s world.

In the Halls of Training he hadn’t learnt much more than his mother had told him and he’d had no interest in asking any further questions. There had been too many other important things to focus on, learning to wield axe and sword and hold his own in battle, as well as exploring the Crafts until he reached his coming of age and settled into his place in the Halls of Adornment to train under the Masters there. Kili had decided on his Craft quickly, studying with their mother in the Halls of Weaponry, and whilst they’d been aware of the Alphas, Betas and Omegas around them, and could tell who was which, none of it had really interested or affected either of them.

Particularly when all the time, in the background, they had known that their Uncle waited, for the right time and the right companions, to reclaim Erebor and take back their Kingdom. Eventually that time had come and Fili and Kili had followed their Uncle without question (they would have followed him into death, and almost had) but in the end they had succeeded in their quest and Thorin now sat on the throne of Erebor.

Alphas, Betas, and Omegas had never been an issue during the Quest either. The group had been a mixture. Thorin, Dwalin, Gloin and Nori, the Alphas. The rest had been Betas except for Fili, Kili and Ori, who had not yet reached their maturing. As for Bilbo, he had just been... Bilbo. None of them had ever really figured him out.

So, beyond the idea that one day he would be an Alpha like Thorin, he still hadn’t thought too much about any of it.

Not until Ori.

 

* * *

 

_It’s been a year since they reclaimed Erebor and Ori has finally talked Fili into helping him sort out the Tomes of Adornment in the Halls of Knowledge. Fili follows along the rows of shelves, muttering a little, for he knows that Thorin is sparring in the Halls of War, and he would much prefer to be there to join it._

_"I don’t know why we had to do this now," he says, and Ori gives him a peeved glance. It’s so unusual on Ori that Fili looks at him more closely._

_It can’t be illness but Ori doesn’t look right. He’s flushed and his eyes look darker than normal._

_"What’s wrong with you?" Fili asks._

_Ori shrugs. "Nothing," he says. He gives Fili a hesitant look and then continues, "Well, I’ve been having… strange thoughts."_

_Fili takes a step back. Strange thoughts do not sound… good. The last time he’d heard of a dwarf with strange thoughts it had been Thorin, suffering from the gold madness. He’d fought it and conquered, but Fili knows it’s the reason Thorin will not hoard gold at Erebor._

_"What sort of thoughts?" Fili asks, but Ori doesn’t answer him. He’s staring over Fili’s shoulder, almost as if in a trance, and Fili turns curiously to see Dwalin entering the chamber they are in._

_"Aye, Fili, there you are…" Dwalin starts to say, and then he just halts and stares at Ori._

_There’s a strange noise behind him, and Fili turns back to find Ori now sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. Dwalin brushes past him and when he kneels on the floor in front of Ori, Ori flings his arms around Dwalin’s neck and starts mumbling._

_It sounds a lot like ‘No’ repeated over and over again and there’s something about the sound of it that makes Fili’s skin crawl._

_"Ah, lad, don’t fret," he hears Dwalin say. "You’re almost there but there’s still some time yet."_

_"What is…?" Fili starts to ask but his voice dies in his throat when Dwalin looks over his shoulder and g_ _lares at him in a way that_ _makes Fili take several steps back this time._

_"Get out of here," Dwalin practically snarls. The Alpha growl in his voice makes Fili freeze in astonishment._

_"Find Nori," Dwalin adds urgently, and that sets Fili moving._

_Nori just nods when Fili tells him_ _about Ori_ _and then he’s gone swiftly, whilst Fili is left wondering just what exactly_ _is happening_ _._

 _By that night it’s common knowledge. Ori is maturing into an Omega and is fast approaching his first_ _H_ _eat._

_There’s great excitement, particularly amongst the Alphas who prefer males, because Ori is the first male Omega for thirty years. Fili watches it all; thoroughly uneasy with the way Ori has become some sort of prize to be won. Even Alphas who have never even spoken to Ori are offering to mate or bond with him and Fili wonders if Thorin will offer as well and is relieved when he doesn’t._

_Fili doesn’t see Ori for a couple of weeks and by that time he knows that Ori has bonded with Dwalin and Nori. Dori is beside himself with pride, one brother an Omega and one an Alpha, bonded together with another Alpha as powerful as Dwalin. It’s a good mix of family blood ties and strength, and although there will be no dwarflings, it is still one of the highest status bondings for many years. When Dori tells Fili this, all Fili can do is smile uncomfortably, wondering if his childhood friend is as happy about the bonding as Dori is._

_When he does see Ori again, he can’t help feeling a little embarrassed and he can see that Ori feels the same._

_"Are you all right?" Fili finally asks, and Ori gives him a shy smile._

_"Yes," he says. "At first it was difficult and Nori says that it was lucky I was isolated early because it gave me time to be able to think more clearly. But after that… well, I always thought I’d be a Beta and turning out to be an Omega, it was… different."_

_Fili’s heart sinks. "You don’t really hate it, do you?" he asks and is a little reassured when Ori laughs._

_"No," he replies. "It’s who I am. I’ll admit, at first it was embarrassing, everyone knowing and talking about it," his voice drops to a whisper and he leans closer to Fili’s ear, "and the Heat was more intense than I thought it would be. But it felt... good."_

_Fili blushes and when he looks at Ori again he’s not surprised to see his embarrassment reflected there._

_"Dwalin says that next time it will be easier," Ori continues and something in his smile reassures Fili. "Because we’ll all have been bonded for a while by then. You know how much Dwalin believes in rigorous training."_

 

* * *

 

Fili remembers that Ori had actually laughed after that and Fili had been relieved that he seemed to be happy even though he hadn’t really understood what Ori had meant. But even now he wonders just how content Ori is at being locked away six times a year, a slave to his need to service and satisfy his Alphas.

The stream of thought and memory breaks as Fili shifts uncomfortably, suddenly realising that out of the three of the unmatured who were on the quest, he is now the only one who has not yet made the change.

He doesn’t want to think about it anymore and as his stomach rumbles in hunger he decides that it’s well past time to find something to eat. He heads to the dining hall hoping that it won’t be too full of other dwarves; only Thorin, Fili and Kili, and the Guard Watch sleep in the Halls of Royalty but there are many dwarves who are in and out throughout the day and so the dining hall is often busy.

He’s lucky, for only Balin and Dwalin are there and Fili fills a plate and then takes his seat at the long table. A few moments later Thorin walks in, notes Kili’s empty chair with a raised brow, and takes his own seat.

"Your brother is absent," he says to Fili, and Fili gives him a look of exaggerated surprise.

"Durin’s beard," he says, sarcastically. "I hadn’t noticed. I wonder where he could be?"

Thorin laughs and takes a long pull of his tankard. His blue eyes on Fili are searching and, as usual, Fili feels as if Thorin can see right through him to the depths of his soul in a way that is completely disconcerting.

"Don’t let it rankle you," Thorin says quietly.

Fili shrugs. "What exactly?" he asks. "Where he’s gone or the fact that I’m the one who is of the right age?"

"Both," Thorin says simply. He leans closer, the long waves of his dark hair brushing Fili’s shoulder. "Your time will come, Fili, soon. That’s all I can tell you."

Fili frowns, wondering what that means. Is there something that Thorin knows about this that Fili does not, or is he just being deliberately mysterious?

"Don’t think too much on it," Thorin advises. "And don’t judge your brother too harshly. The Halls of the Unbonded are there because some dwarves need them. I know my sister disapproves, many Betas do, but they don’t understand the compulsion. The first days of a new Alpha are not easy. Kili needs our support."

"I know," Fili agrees, and he does. But for some reason it reminds him of the first time they had been separated when Fili had left the Halls of Rearing… except that this time it is Fili who is left behind as Kili moves forward to new experiences.

"He will always be yours, Fili," Thorin says softly, and Fili wonders, not for the first time, how it is that his uncle can seem to read so easily those close to him. He has seen him do the same to Kili many times.

"As will I," Thorin adds, and the undercurrent of Alpha in his voice makes Fili look at him in surprise, for he rarely directs it at either of his nephews. Thorin’s eyes are unreadable though and when he turns away to talk to Dwalin, Fili wonders if he perhaps imagined it.

It’s not until he’s back in his chambers that it occurs to him that the actual words were strange as well.

 


	2. Chapter 2

It does rankle in some ways though and Fili can’t help it.

The feeling of separation continues for Kili is now preoccupied in ways that Fili is not. He returns from the Halls of the Unbonded, his tension seems eased, and Fili thinks that it’s over, but instead his brother visits the Halls many times. And it’s not just the Halls that occupy him for Kili cuts a swathe through Erebor, charming and bedding the Betas as well, male or female, he does not seem to discriminate.

Then there is his Alpha growth. Within weeks Kili is almost as tall and as broad in shoulder as Thorin, and Fili doesn’t like the way that now both of them seem to tower over him when he stands beside them. And when he spars with Kili in the Halls of War, Fili has to fight twice as hard and with twice as much cunning to hold his own against a brother who is suddenly stronger and fiercer. It makes him long for the time when his own Alpha maturity will come and they will be on level ground again.

As the months pass he begins to wonder if Kili ever thinks of bonding and his heart sinks at the thought of this further distance between them. The idea gnaws at him, especially when he hears rumours that Kili may very soon be a father, and eventually, in one of the now rare times they are alone, he finds himself asking the question.

Kili is sprawled in a chair in Fili's chambers, watching Fili work, but once the question is out there he sits forward and gives Fili a look that he doesn’t understand. It’s not anger but something else, and eventually Fili realises, with a start of amusement, that for the first time in his life Kili is attempting to look stern.

He tries to stifle his laughter but it must show for a moment later Kili is up and pulling Fili out of his own chair.

"Why would you ask me that?" he growls, and Fili freezes, not because of the question but because the Alpha note in Kili’s voice is clear and he has never used it with Fili before. That, and the way his fingers are digging into Fili’s arm, makes Fili feel uneasy.

"Don’t talk to me like that," he snaps, all amusement gone.

"You should get used to it," Kili answers. "Soon you’ll hear it often enough."

Fili narrows his eyes. "What in Mahal’s name do you mean by that?"

He locks eyes with Kili, holding his gaze, and as he watches, the strange severity drains from Kili’s face.

"Nothing," Kili finally says, releasing his grip on Fili’s arm. "It was stupid of me to say it. Your question took me by surprise, that’s all."

"I don’t see why," Fili replies. "It was a perfectly reasonable question."

"Have I given any sign that I would want to bond right now?" Kili asks.

Fili shakes his head because the truth is, Kili hasn’t, and he’s beginning to regret he ever asked in the first place.

"I just thought you might be getting tired of going to the Halls of the Unbonded."

"You still disapprove, don’t you?" Kili asks, and there’s a sombre shadow in his eyes that makes Fili feel guilty.

"Not exactly," he says. "I understand why you need it, in theory. I expect one day I’ll feel it too."

Kili moves closer again, reaching up to tug on one of Fili’s braids. Fili laughs and slaps his hand away.

"Maybe not in the same way," Kili says quietly. "I go there for you. For Erebor’s future."

"What’s it got to do with me?" Fili stutters, thoroughly confused for what Kili has just said does not make any sense as far as he can see.

"Ah, I’m just being a fool, Fili," Kili says, and there’s a hint of self-mockery in his eyes that Fili has never seen there before. "Don’t mind me. I should go, I’m supposed to be finishing a sword for Bard’s son."

Kili is almost at the door when Fili abruptly asks the question that he’s sworn to himself that he will not ask.

"Are the rumours true?"

"What rumours?"

Fili sighs. "That you have sired a dwarfling, to be born soon?"

"No," Kili turns slowly until Fili can see that on his face is a wry smile. "The truth is that I’m expecting two."

"You have been busy," Fili says, dryly. "No wonder you don’t want to bond."

Kili shrugs but there is a guarded look in his eyes. "The only male Omega is already bonded, as you well know."

Fili is dumbfounded and when he realises that he probably looks stupid with his mouth hanging open, he snaps it closed.

"Then why-"

"I wanted to have dwarflings," Kili interrupts quickly. "And I found two Omegas who wanted the same but without bonding. That’s all there is to it."

His tone and the look in his eyes tells Fili that he has been told as much as Kili is comfortable with telling and all he can do is watch as Kili leaves the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Fili leans against his workbench for a long while, staring at that closed door, and pondering over his brother’s revelations. He realises now that Kili must have put aside his own natural inclinations in order to fulfil his need to be a father and that need must have been strong for him to do so. The fact that he had never mentioned wanting to sire dwarflings has made the whole thing seem a little furtive and Kili has certainly never been secretive before.

It’s only when he runs into Thorin in the dining hall that Fili wonders whether perhaps Kili has confided in someone other than himself.

His uncle is alone, reading the scrolls spread around his plate as he eats and for a moment Fili is loath to disturb him. But his curiosity is too much so he fills his own plate and takes the seat next to Thorin’s.

Thorin looks up and smiles, his blue eyes glittering in the light of the amber lamps, and Fili is caught in his gaze, his heart suddenly thudding in his chest. The room feels too warm, and it’s not the first time that Fili has noticed this lately; he’s starting to think that someone is loading the fires too heavily. He drags his eyes away from Thorin and glances at the fireplace, frowning in confusion when he sees that the fire is no larger than normal.

"Fili?"

Thorin’s voice seems to roll over him in a wave. Fili is sure that it is deeper than usual, the tone of it like the richest velvet against his skin. It’s not like the Alpha voice, but more like something within Fili’s response to it, and he shivers a little as he pushes the thought aside.

He takes a long draught of his ale, well aware that Thorin is watching him, and clears his throat.

"Did you know about Kili’s impending fatherhood?" he asks, before he can stop himself.

"Of course," Thorin answers calmly.

His response resolves Fili’s concern over the sudden afterthought that if Thorin _hadn’t_ known it might have been because Kili wanted to tell him himself.

"Both are due within a matter of days now," Thorin continues.

Fili is shocked and strives not to show it but guesses that he’s not entirely successful when Thorin asks him if it bothers him.

"No, it’s just…" he pauses, takes a sip of his ale and gathers his thoughts.

"I hadn’t realised they were due so soon," he says wryly, "considering I’ve only just now found out about it. I also hadn’t realised that Kili wanted to be a father so much. He certainly never said anything." He glances at Thorin doubtfully. "Well, not to me anyway."

"He probably had his reasons," is Thorin’s reply, and the gentle reproof behind it stirs Fili to anger.

"Well, I suppose I’m just not used to my brother keeping secrets from me," he says, voice rising. "He never has before and I don’t see why it was necessary now."

"That is not what I meant," Thorin replies. "There has been no secret-keeping. Kili has been quite transparent in his actions as far as I can see. I merely meant that he probably has his own reasons for his interest in fatherhood and doesn’t feel the need to talk about it. There is no reason why he should be asked to; his reasons are his own."

Fili’s sudden anger has already calmed by the time Thorin finishes speaking and is replaced by some embarrassment. Really what had he been thinking, to say something so childish and petulant to Thorin.

"You’re right," he says quickly. "I’m sorry."

Thorin smiles and Fili’s heart lurches in his chest again and he really wishes it would stop doing that.

"You have nothing to apologise for," Thorin says. "Kili’s change has been an adjustment for everyone, not just himself."

"Yes," Fili agrees. "Particularly when I..."

Thorin gives him a searching look when Fili, suddenly flustered, falters into silence. He’d been about to say that he should have already matured himself... before Kili... and he hadn’t realised until that moment just how mortified he feels about the fact that he _still_ hasn’t. And maybe that was the reason he hadn’t known about just exactly what Kili had been up to, not because it had been kept a secret from him, but because he hadn’t _wanted_ to know. He rather thinks that he might owe Kili an apology.

"You’re worrying about this too much," Thorin says, and Fili startles when he realises that Thorin has moved closer, his voice low in Fili’s ear, his breath stirring Fili’s hair. "And I don’t want you to worry."

Thorin rests a hand on the back of Fili’s head in a gesture he hasn’t used since Fili was very young. Thorin has always been a support to his nephews but he has never been overly physically affectionate with them so it is a rare moment of contact and Fili finds himself smiling in the way that he always used to when Thorin did this. The moment lengthens when Thorin’s fingers run through Fili’s hair massaging along his scalp in a way that makes Fili close his eyes in contentment, even as a thousand cave moths seem to take up fluttering residence in his stomach.

"My golden Durin," Thorin murmurs. "All will be well, I promise you."

The spell is broken when the door opens and Dwalin and Balin enter the room, both talking loudly. Fili’s eyes fly open as Thorin moves away and for some reason he’s fighting the urge to flee the room even as he feels his face flushing. It’s unsettling and he is thoroughly relieved when no one seems to notice his confusion, making it easier for him to push the whole incident out of his mind.

A few days later, Kili’s first-born arrives, a girl, with her mother’s red hair and the Durin blue eyes, but the second, born a couple of days later, is a boy. They visit the Halls of Birthing to see the newest male in the Durin line, a babe with Fili’s golden hair and Kili’s dark eyes. Fili is not surprised by the pride he sees in Thorin’s eyes but he is taken aback when he sees that the same pride in Kili’s is mixed with relief.

There is feasting and celebration over the arrival of two new Durins, one of them the Heir until Fili makes the final change into Alpha or Beta and can father his own. Like all dwarflings, they will stay in the Halls of Rearing, protected and confined until they are ready to take their place in the Halls of Training. Kili will not join them for he has not bonded with either of the mothers and Fili wonders if he now regrets that choice but, even though Kili had dismissed his apology as unnecessary, Fili doesn’t feel that he can ask.

And that is just another example of the new distance between them, Fili thinks a few days later, especially as Kili now spends a lot of his spare time visiting his offspring in the Halls of Rearing. But Fili can’t begrudge him that, not when Kili’s enjoyment in fatherhood is plain to see and it means that he no longer goes to the Halls of the Unbonded.

Despite his acceptance of Kili’s new preoccupations, Fili still feels… unsettled. He’s not sleeping well, often waking through the night feeling overheated and he’s ended up asking the Hall stewards to turn down the forge heating to his quarters several times to no avail. Sometimes he’s ravenously hungry, sometimes he has no appetite at all, and he’d honestly think of consulting Oin if he wasn’t so worried about what Oin would tell him.

And yes, Thorin had told him not to worry but Fili can’t help doing so, because if this is his final change approaching then he has a feeling that something is not normal about it. Or what he’d think was normal if he was sure that he was going to be an Alpha… and he’s not as sure about that as he used to be.

If his suspicion is correct then he knows he’s going to be disappointed, because it means that he’ll never know the full strength and virility of being an Alpha. Betas make fine warriors, he knows that, but in his opinion they can’t be as spectacular as Alphas; they tend to be the troops rather than the leaders. And aside from that, he would never be on an even playing field with Kili again. Kili would always be taller, stronger, more aggressive… more like Thorin.

There’s also the fact that he is the Heir, and whilst there _ha_ _d_ been Beta Kings who had ruled wisely in the past, there has also been a long line of Durin Alpha Kings and Fili does _not_ want to be the one to break the chain.

He needs some advice, some idea of what to expect and as there is only one Beta in his immediate family to ask, Fili soon finds himself sending off a raven to the Iron Hills, and as he does so, he realises just how much he misses his mother. He can barely remember the father who had died not long after Kili was born, and he can’t resent his mother’s happiness after so much time alone, but he does sometimes wish that she had bonded with a dwarf from Erebor.

Her response is quick, for which Fili is thankful, but unfortunately her letter is hardly enlightening.

 

 

 

> _My dearest Fili,_
> 
>  
> 
> _I am truthfully sorry to hear of your concern._ _I’m afraid I can’t tell you much for each approaches the final change in their own way, whether Alpha, Beta or Omega. You are strong, my son, and whatever happens I know that you will deal with it as a true Durin._ _Know that_ _I will always be proud of you. Trust in your Uncle and Kili, they will help you when you need it. That is the best advice I can give you, other than to be easy with yourself and let the change come as naturally as possible._ _Do not try to fight it, Fili, for it is inescapable and will come to you as it must come to all of us._ _There will be times when you will be confused and uncertain but in the end, all will be well. My love to you,_ _to_ _Kili, and_ _to_ _my brother,_
> 
>  
> 
> _Dis._

 

Fili stares at the parchment for some time for, yes, it does not tell him much, but at the same time it is almost… alarming. Or certainly that is his reaction to it as he feels the churning anxiety in his stomach. It is as if she knows something certain that he does not, but what could she know? There is no way that she could ever be sure of the outcome of his change, no matter what doubts he has expressed himself, until that change is finally over.

Eventually he puts the letter aside and tries to put his anxieties aside as well.

Two days later his world falls apart.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Fili is walking through the Halls of War when he hears Kili’s voice in one of the Practice chambers, and when he reaches the entrance arch he sees that Thorin is with him and they are sparring. He stands in the shadows and watches silently and the warmth of pride runs through his blood for they are the strongest Alphas in the entire Kingdom… and they are the fairest as well.

This is not surprising to Fili for the Durin’s have always been fair and he knows that with his mother’s golden hair and his uncle’s blue eyes he has his place amongst them, but now, as he looks at Thorin and Kili it is almost with new eyes that he sees the power that they have. Kili is almost as broad shouldered as Thorin now, and his brown eyes are either melting with charm or sparkling with mischief as the mood takes him. Fili has heard that the unbonded Omegas and Betas heavily mourn his desertion of them and try many ways to lure him back to them.

And Thorin is breathtaking. Every move he makes is perfectly controlled, almost elegant in its perfection. His long dark hair with its hint of silver trails down his back and Fili can see the formidable strength in his chest and thighs as he moves. He can’t see them but he can easily imagine the deep blue of his eyes sparkling like sapphires in the golden lamplight.

For a moment he wonders at this new vision of them but the moment is broken when Kili’s sword flies from his hand and clatters to the floor. Thorin laughs, the low velvet sound of it echoing through the room, and Kili scowls at him as he retrieves his weapon. There is a flurry of frantic movement as Kili launches a new attack, aggression in every line of his body, but Thorin parries it easily and then prowls forward, hunting for an opening in Kili’s defence.

And then it happens. A wild thrill runs through Fili’s body as he imagines himself the target of that predatory focus, only there are no weapons in the sudden image in his mind. Instead, there is simply Thorin, and the Alpha’s hunt is not one of battle… but seduction instead.

Fili backs away from the archway slowly and as silently as he can. Only his years of training allow him to keep control over the panic that hovers at the edges of his mind. The clash of weapons inside the chamber tells him that he has not been noticed and he thanks Mahal for that because it feels like they should be able to hear the way his heart is thundering in his chest.

He leans against the cold stone wall, breathing heavily. He feels like a fool. In all his concern over becoming a Beta, why in all the hells had it never even occurred to him that he might be an Omega? He had never even once considered it.

He clenches his fists as he struggles with the idea of it and he can’t deny that he hopes that he is mistaken, that the moment watching Thorin and Kili had been some sort of aberration. Perhaps it had just been the admiration that an emerging Alpha might feel for other Alphas? How can he know for sure when he has never experienced anything like this before?

There is someone who might be able to tell him though, Fili thinks, but at the same time he is also reluctant to have his suspicions confirmed. Although there is also the chance that Ori might settle his doubts and that is a possibility that Fili cannot pass over.

He leaves the Halls of War and threads his way through the Central Market, keeping his hood up and his head down, hoping that no one will notice him. Luckily no one does and he reaches the Halls of Knowledge, where Ori quarters with his bond-mates, without interruption. As he knocks on the door he fervently hopes that Ori will be alone. He is fairly certain that Dwalin is on duty but he’s also fairly certain that only Thorin understands the mystery of Nori’s schedule.

Ori _is_ alone and he greets Fili with a welcoming grin, one that Fili struggles to return. His friend must sense something amiss, for he drags Fili to the fireside and presses a tankard of ale into his hands.

Fili drinks deeply whilst Ori waits. Finally he lifts his head to look at his oldest friend.

"I…" he begins, falls silent, shrugs and tries again. "I know this may seem like a very personal question but I have no one else to ask who will know the answer."

Ori nods. "Go on," he says.

"I remember that day in the Halls of Knowledge," Fili says quietly, "when your change began. I remember that you said you had been having strange thoughts, and I want to know if you’d had any suspicion of what was happening… or that you would be an Omega."

For a moment Ori looks puzzled and Fili prays to Mahal that he won’t ask why Fili wants to know. A moment later Ori’s face clears and when he gives Fili a searching, surprised look he knows that Ori has guessed anyway.

"All right," Ori says, his face flushing a little. "I’ll try to tell you what I can. It started about a fortnight before that day in the Halls, and at first I was hardly aware of it. I just started noticing the Alphas, that’s the only way I can describe it. Some more than others… Dwalin… Thorin, well everyone notices Thorin I suppose," his face breaks into a mischievous smile but when Fili doesn’t react, it swiftly drops.

" _How_ did you notice them?" Fili asks, and he can hear the hoarse anxiety in his own voice. "In what way?"

"They just… stood out. They looked so… _good_ ," Ori says, and when he says ‘good’ his voice sounds raw in a way that makes Fili suddenly shiver. "Especially the ones who weren’t bonded. Then, a few days later, the ache started. I felt like I needed to be near them all the time but at the same time I didn’t want them to _see_ me. Oh, I’m not explaining it very well, I know, but it’s difficult. Anyway, I was confused. I knew that I must be maturing but it wasn’t what I’d expected. I admit it, I was afraid and I tried to hide from it and pretend it wasn’t happening, and when Dwalin walked in that day and I looked at him and it was like I started to… burn… inside, and I’m afraid I rather embarrassed myself after you left. I… I wouldn’t let him go, not until Nori came in, and somehow that settled me a little. They got me back to my quarters before the other Alphas started to sense what was happening.″

″I see,″ Fili says, frowning thoughtfully. He doesn’t know what to think. What Ori has described isn’t exactly what has happened to Fili but there are enough similarities for him to still feel concerned. And as he thinks back over the last couple of weeks at some of his interactions with Thorin, not to mention Kili as well, he’s honest enough to admit that his reactions to them hadn’t been quite… normal. Even if he hadn’t realised it at the time.

The silence continues for another long moment and then Ori shifts to sit beside him.

"Fili, are you…" he begins tentatively, and he falls silent when Fili lets out a little groan of frustration.

"I don’t _know_ ," he says. ″But this is not what I expected. I watched Kili make the change into an Alpha and what I’m experiencing doesn’t seem to be the same.″

″Well, it’s not _exactly_ the same for everyone,″ Ori says gently. ″And for some it comes on quicker too. But eventually you’ll know just by how you react to the others. If you’re an Alpha, you’ll react to the Omegas more strongly, and if you’re Beta you’ll be more attracted to other Betas and the Alphas won’t have as strong of an effect on you. But if you’re Omega you’ll-″

″Notice the Alphas,″ Fili finishes numbly.

″So, I gather that’s what happened?″ Ori asks.

Fili closes his eyes and finally has to admit it, to himself, and to Ori.

″Yes,″ he whispers.

"Oh my. The first Omega King," Ori breathes, fascinated, and Fili winces.

"Don’t," he says.

″It will get easier,″ Ori offers.

"You didn’t want it either," Fili replies.

″I wouldn’t say that,″ Ori says. ″I just didn’t really know what was happening to me. After all, there hadn’t been a male Omega for thirty years. I’d just never considered it at all.″

″Neither did I,″ Fili says wryly. ″Oh Mahal, what in all the hells am I going to do?″

″It’s not actually horrible you know,″ Ori says, and he sounds slightly amused. ″And the Heat does have it’s benefits. Particularly if you’re bonded.″

"For you or for them?"

His voice is too harsh, he knows it, and Ori withdraws a little and looks offended.

"I’m sorry," Fili apologises, with a tight smile. "I… I didn’t expect this."

"It is what it is, Fili," Ori says. "Don’t make it too hard for yourself… and don’t forget that whilst Alphas are possessive of their Omega, the Omega is protective of their bond-mates. Don’t talk about mine like that again."

The rebuke from a dwarf as mild as Ori is startling but Fili takes it seriously. He shouldn’t have taken his dismay out on Ori, particularly when the other dwarf is obviously trying to help at some cost to his own privacy.

″I’m sorry," he says again, and is relieved when Ori smiles. ″I just don’t know… I mean, how did you decide to bond anyway? I mean, you didn’t think of going to the…?″

″Halls of the Unbonded?″ Ori shakes his head. ″That was the part I struggled with. I’m not like you, I’m _shy,_ and I knew… that they were all out there, waiting for the first male Omega in thirty years. If I’d been in Heat already, maybe I wouldn’t have cared. The Heat is… consuming, particularly if you’re unbonded. But, thankfully I still had some time to think and I’m glad I got that choice. And Nori… well, when he told me that he wanted to bond with me, I just knew that it was what I wanted as well.″

″And Dwalin?″ Fili prompts, curious in spite of himself.

"He was the first Alpha I really remember noticing… in that way," Ori clarifies, with a blush. "He offered bonding as well. I thought about it but somehow I knew that I wanted them both so I accepted and we bonded before my Heat came on fully."

"And you’re happy you bonded?"

"Yes," Ori says simply, and it’s a little reassuring at least, although Fili has no idea what will happen in his own case. He can’t imagine being bonded as an Omega, neither can he imagine going to the Halls of the Unbonded as one. Deep down he’s still hoping that it’s all some kind of big mistake, a momentary hiccup on the way to his being either an Alpha or a Beta.

″You… you don’t seem too pleased,″ Ori says tentatively.

″That’s an understatement,″ Fili says under his breath and Ori gives him a sympathetic look.

″I think it takes more getting used to for us males than it does for the female Omegas, because it’s so rare,″ Ori says. ″And you can’t help wondering why it happens when male Omega's can't have dwarflings anyway. I tried to research that actually but I didn’t find out much at all. So, when it starts, it’s harder to figure out what’s happening to you, I think. If you have any Alphas in the bloodline that’s usually when they’ll tell you, just to ease the way a bit. Unfortunately what happened with Dwalin that day in the Halls of Knowledge took Nori by surprise, so he didn’t get a chance to tell me.″

Fili gives him a blank look.

″Tell you? What are you talking about? How would he even have known?″

″Well, they keep it quiet but apparently once you reach coming of age, Alphas with blood ties to you can sense if you’ll be an Omega. Of course, that doesn’t help the Omegas who don’t have any Alphas in their bloodline though.″

Ice cold shock pours over Fili and he stares at Ori dumbly.

″That can’t be true,″ he finally says through numb lips. And it can’t be, he thinks, because that would mean that _they_ knew. Fili had passed his coming of age into adulthood in Ered Luin over _twenty_ years ago, which meant that Thorin had _known_ for that long that Fili would never be an Alpha, that he would be an _Omega_. And Kili… he’d been an Alpha for close to a year, so he must have known for that long … and neither of them had _ever_ said a word.

″I will _slaughter_ them,″ Fili growls through gritted teeth and Ori gives him a look so comically startled that Fili would laugh if he wasn’t so busy being completely, utterly, furiously angry.

He springs to his feet and paces the floor, fuming and ignoring whatever Ori is saying.

″How could they do this to me?″ he snarls, heart twisting with the sense of betrayal. He heads for the door. ″No, I really _am_ going to kill them.″

Suddenly Ori is in front of him, barring the way.

″Fili,″ he says, holding out his hands. ″You have to calm down. I’m sure Thorin was going to tell you and if he wasn’t, then he probably has some sort of reasonable explanation. This is just a misunderstanding. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that.″

″I really can’t think of a _reasonable_ explanation, Ori,″ Fili says, voice still tight with anger. ″So, get out of my way.″

Ori’s hands grip his shoulders. ″Well, I _can_ think of one actually,″ he says, and that gets through to Fili. He stops trying to push past Ori and blinks at his friend in confusion.

″What do you mean?″

″He didn’t want you to have to go for a long time living with the weight of expectation. He wanted you to be able to make your own choices from a place of acceptance, and that’s easier to do when your body is already starting the change,″ Ori says, earnestly. ″Before that it’s just too foreign a concept. Think about it, Fili, think about how you really would have felt knowing for all this time. That’s the main reason that they don’t tell you too early. Apparently long ago, sometimes they did, and the future Omega often had problems because of it.″

″And aside from that,″ Ori continues when Fili doesn’t say anything, ″it would have caused all kinds of complications in your relationship with him and with Kili.″

Fili feels the blood draining from his face.

″Are you saying what I think you’re saying?″

″They are unbonded Alphas of your blood, Fili,″ Ori says. ″And it _was_ your reaction to at least one of them that brought you here, wasn’t it?″

The blood comes rushing back to Fili’s face in full force until it feels like the skin on his face might actually burn off. There’s an uncomfortable sensation in his stomach that he doesn’t understand and he doesn’t like. He stumbles back to the fireside and into the chair he’d flung himself out of a few minutes ago. His ale is still sitting on the low table and Fili takes a long draught, grimacing at its now tepid temperature.

″I feel like I don’t know myself anymore,″ he mumbles, as Ori takes the seat opposite. ″And I feel like I don’t know _them_ either.″

″Yes,″ Ori sighs. ″It’s a lot of change to deal with, that’s for sure.″

″You really think they…?″ Fili eventually whispers, because he certainly can’t voice the thought out loud.

″Well,″ Ori replies quietly. ″Thorin’s preferences have always been known, and as for Kili, after his initial adventures, there have been rumours that he follows Thorin’s inclinations.″

″Do the entire population of Erebor spend all their time just gossiping about the Royal Family?″ Fili asks snidely. ″Because they’ll have a field day when this gets out.″

And that is disturbing because Fili remembers what had happened when Ori had first matured and the idea of all that interest and speculation being directed at _him_ is horrifying. He honestly can’t believe that he’d been wishing for the time to his final maturing to pass more quickly. Now it just feels like time is his enemy.

Ori gives him a sympathetic look and Fili sighs. His anger has drained away and now he just feels strangely exhausted and very confused.

″I was also going to say that they love you,″ Ori says. ″I’m sure you know that.″

But this is a different kind of love, Fili thinks, one of which he has absolutely no experience or knowledge, and that he’s not at all comfortable at the thought of… although he supposes that will change very soon. Is it just the urge for mating, or is there more to it than that? Either way he’s dead sure that he doesn’t want to face either of them any time soon.

″I should go,″ he says, getting up out of his chair. ″Um… thanks Ori.″

″There’s one more thing you should know,″ Ori says, and Fili’s heart sinks. He’s not sure he can take hearing anything more, not when he’s longing for the silence and solitude of his chambers behind a locked door.

″I can’t tell how near you are to your first Heat,″ Ori says. ″But it will eventually get to the point where the other Alphas will be able to sense that it's close.″

Fili rolls his eyes. That locked door is sounding better every minute.

He thanks Ori again and draws his hood over his head. The Central Market is busier than it had been earlier but Fili halts on the outskirts, struck motionless as the sudden awareness of the Alphas in the crowd ripples through him. He’s always been able to recognise them from their physique and their bearing, but this is something more. They stand out to him, like beacons that would draw a moth to the flame. It’s the final confirmation that he didn’t want and the fact that it has grown so much stronger in such a short time is unnerving. His skin feels dry and hot as he forces himself to look away from them, drawing his hood even lower.

His heart thumps in his chest as he crosses the Market as quickly as he can. Every time his path nears one of the Alphas it’s a struggle for him to avoid looking up and when he finally approaches the Halls of Royalty it is with a mixed sense of relief and regret… and that is even more disturbing.

His luck runs out when he runs into Dwalin in the entrance hall that serves as an informal audience chamber through which everyone must pass to reach the quarters within.

″Ah Fili, lad, your brother was lookin’ for you,″ Dwalin says.

Fili’s heart lurches in his chest but at least his reaction to Dwalin doesn’t seem to be as intense. It’s muted, almost as if he can sense the presence of Dwalin’s bond with Ori and Nori and the strangeness of it makes him look up curiously.

And Dwalin is staring at him, his eyes so wide with shock that they almost seem to be leaping out of his head, and Fili would laugh at the sight if he wasn’t so dismayed instead.

″Yes well,″ Fili gasps out. ″Thanks for letting me know.″

He leaves Dwalin standing stock still in the middle of the chamber and heads swiftly for his quarters. He doesn’t bother locking the door because now there’s no point and he is not at all surprised when ten minutes later a Hall steward comes to tell him that Thorin wants to see him.

Immediately.

 


	4. Chapter 4

It is with no small amount of resentment that Fili knocks on the door to the room Thorin uses as a private council chamber (and that feeling doubles when he opens the door and finds that Kili is within as well) because it feels a lot like he’s being ambushed when what he really needed was some time to be alone. The next time he sees Dwalin snoozing in the dining hall Fili vows that he’s going to cut off his beard.

″Fili, come in and sit down,″ Thorin says, and at that point Fili can no longer avoid looking at them.

It’s like a punch to the stomach, taking all of his breath away, because his awareness of them is now even more intense than it had been when he had watched them sparring. Kili is sprawled in a chair, his body graceful in repose, his hair its usual rakish mess. He’s devastatingly attractive and Fili knows now why he is so desired. Thorin is standing near the fireplace and once Fili finally looks at him he can’t drag his eyes away and in that moment he feels like prey, mesmerised by the hunter, and unable to run.

Thankfully, it only lasts for a few seconds and then his head seems to clear to some degree. One thing he knows for sure though, he thinks, as he leans back against the closed door, he really doesn’t want to get any closer to them.

″Thanks,″ he says, in as firm a voice as he can muster. ″But I’ll stay here.″

He finally meets Thorin’s eyes and that feels different too, like small sparks from the forge tingling over his skin.

″I see,″ Thorin says softly. ″We wanted to tell you something but I have a feeling that it’s too late. You already know.″

Fili almost laughs. They must think he’s an idiot, he tells himself, if they think he could go through this and not figure out what it meant.

It’s at that point that he realises that as much as he can’t deny that he’s drawn to them, and even though he’d understood Ori’s explanations on a purely logical level... he is also still angry with them.

″Yes, too late,″ he agrees sarcastically, taking strength from the solid, cool, support of the door behind him. ″Although I suppose I should be grateful that you were finally going to bother to tell me.″

″Fili!″

It is Kili who speaks, his voice full of shock, but when he stands and takes a step towards Fili, Thorin’s hand on his arm holds him back, and Fili is annoyed with himself for feeling grateful for it. At the same time he wants to tell Thorin that he doesn’t need his protection and he rolls his eyes in frustration at the way his emotions seem to be all over the place.

″You are nearer to it than I expected,″ Thorin says.

As if that is explanation enough, Fili thinks, and he bursts into speech.

" _You_ have known since I came of age, over twenty years, and you kept it from me." He looks at Kili. "And you. You have known for nearly a year and you didn’t think _I_ should know?"

"Actually, no I didn’t,″ Kili says, and the calm, confident tone with which he speaks is so disconcerting that it shocks Fili out of his anger. "What good would it have done you to know? It’s far easier to understand and accept what is happening to you once it’s already started happening."

"So, ignorance is bliss then," Fili says, sarcastically.

″For this, yes, it is,″ Kili says. ″You can’t escape it so why worry about it until you have to.″

″And you think it was up to _you_ to make that decision for me?″ Fili asks resentfully.

″Oh, do _you_ think I _wanted_ to know beforehand and then wait for such a long-″

″Enough.″

Thorin’s voice has only just a hint of Alpha depth to it but it’s enough to make Fili’s eyes lock on to him. As an unmatured Fili has never been wholly immune to the command of an Alpha voice. Like any adult dwarf, matured or unmatured, he has always recognised it when he’s heard it, but now it resonates through him in a way it never has before, and he flinches when he wonders what its effect will be on him once he’s fully matured into an Omega.

Thorin gives Kili a withering look but it’s too late, Fili thinks, because he’s already dealing with the effects of what Kili has said… and it is thoroughly confusing. Kili has always been confident but Fili now finds himself stunned and annoyed at the sheer bravado of his brother’s expectations. At the same time, something heavy and delicious has settled in his stomach, making it tighten with a type of tension that he is only just beginning to understand. Because this is the confirmation of what Ori had hinted at, Kili _wants_ him, and there’s enough of the Omega already awoken inside Fili for him to appreciate that he has enticed such a powerful Alpha.

Although Kili has spent his time being _enticed_ by many, Fili thinks, as he looks at Kili with narrowed eyes.

″You’re making a lot of assumptions, aren’t you?″ he finally manages to say wryly.

And Kili actually smiles, slow and sure. ″Yes, I am,″ he says, and there is a note in his voice, even beyond that of an Alpha, that Fili has never heard before and it sends a shudder rippling through his body. Instinctively he knows that this is Kili as a _hunting_ Alpha, intending to take an Omega, and whilst it has no power to mesmerise him yet, he can still feel the seductive force behind it. Adrenaline floods him, and Fili is caught between the urges to either draw one of the knives he always carries, or to fumble for the door latch.

″Kili, sit down and be silent or I _will_ actually kill you,″ Thorin says, and the pure exasperation in his voice breaks the tension in the room.

″I know that this isn’t what you expected, Fili,″ Thorin continues, after Kili gives him an abashed look and drops back into his seat. ″But-″

″If you tell me all will be well I think I’ll scream,″ Fili says, in a tight voice, and he hears Kili let out a soft snort of amusement.

Thorin actually sighs and Fili suddenly realises how tightly Thorin is controlling himself. Even from across the room he can see the tension in Thorin’s body and, for the first time, he realises that he is not the only one who is struggling with the situation. For a mad moment, he wants to cross the room and run his fingers through Thorin’s hair, just to see what would happen, but, deep down, he knows he’s nowhere near ready to tempt any Alpha… and certainly not Thorin.

But that moment, more than anything else, tells him how quickly he is approaching his first Heat and how volatile that makes the situation. He really needs to get out of this room, Fili thinks, and soon.

″You should say whatever you wanted to say,″ he tells Thorin. ″I need… I want to leave.″

Thorin nods and Fili is relieved at the understanding he sees in his eyes.

″There are many reasons why we did not tell you earlier, Fili,″ Thorin says, ″but Kili is right about the main one. In the past, there were sometimes difficulties when future Omegas were made aware of the knowledge too soon. Because of that, it was decided that an Omega would only be told once all other Alphas were sensing the approaching Heat because their Alpha reactions would be too confusing for the changing Omega if they were not fully aware. I had planned to do so now, for I must tell you that it is no longer just Kili and I who can sense your approaching change. Dwalin thought that he had hidden his surprise well, but I assume his reaction made you guess?″

″Dwalin needs to spend some time in the Halls of Art taking acting lessons,″ Fili replies dryly. It’s a prevarication, he knows, because he _had_ known earlier but Fili can’t help feeling, somewhat maliciously, that Dwalin deserves it in some way… and he really does not want to explain the moment that had brought on his awareness to _Thorin_. Fortunately, and he’s thankful for it, they seem to have forgotten that he had somehow found out about their own knowledge and that they had kept it from him.

″I will be sure to make that recommendation to Dwalin at the first opportunity,″ Thorin says, and the amused sparkle in his eyes makes Fili’s heart beat faster and, oh, he thinks, it really is time to leave.

″There is one more thing,″ Thorin says, halting Fili’s movement towards the door. ″I think it would be best if you did not leave these Halls for the time being. I have no wish to make you feel like a prisoner here but this is an unusual circumstance.″

 _Because I’m the Heir_ , Fili thinks, and inside he shrinks at the interest that it will generate throughout Erebor.

″I have no problem with that,″ he says, and then can’t stop himself from flushing slightly when another thought crosses his mind. ″But what will happen when I… when I go into…?″

And it is thoroughly infuriating that he can’t bring himself to _say_ it.

Before Fili can even react Thorin has crossed the room and has taken one of Fili’s hands in his. A second later Fili is caught, wide-eyed and breathless, as he stares up at Thorin. There is a look in Thorin’s eyes that he has never seen there before and it takes another moment to realise that it is desire. He swallows heavily against the sudden anxious twist of nerves in his stomach but somehow he instinctively knows that Thorin will not push the moment any further.

″We are Alphas and also of your blood. You know this, and you must have realised by now that we want you,″ Thorin says quietly, and behind him Fili can see Kili slowly rising from his chair.

″We are the most powerful Alphas in Erebor,″ Thorin continues and there is no arrogance in his voice, it’s just a simple statement of fact. ″Between us we are strong enough to take you through an unbonded mating; you would have no need to go to the Halls of the Unbonded if you didn't want to. But we offer you more than that. We offer ourselves as bond-mates.″

Fili swallows heavily and he knows that his slight flush has now flared into a blush so deep that it feels like the skin might melt off his face. Thorin’s words are resonating through him in ways he doesn’t want to think about but at the same time he feels trapped, caught and snared in an Alpha’s hunt and if he wasn’t already pressed against the door he knows he’d be backing away.

Thorin must see the distress in his eyes because he lets go of Fili’s hand.

″You need time to think,″ is all he says, and Fili nods.

Somehow he gets the door open and there is no other way to put it, he is ashamed to admit, but he flees for the sanctuary of his own chambers.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

It takes Fili a long time to settle enough to try to sleep. His thoughts and feelings are tumultuous and underneath it all he still can’t quite believe that this is happening to him. For all of his life he has thought that he would be an Alpha… how could he have been so wrong?

And soon everyone will know it. He remembers what happened when Ori matured into an Omega, he had thought it humiliating at the time, and he still does now. The idea that, once his Heat rises, they will all know why he is isolated, that he is a prisoner to his need for an Alpha... whilst the Alphas can come and go as they please.

But unfortunately it is inescapable and he wonders if all dwarves, not just the Omegas, feel like this when the change approaches – as if the walls of their future are closing in around them, implacable and final.

He remembers his mother’s pity for the Omegas and suddenly her letter makes sense to him. Fresh anger rises as he realises that either Thorin or Kili must have told her, that _all_ of them had known whilst he had been blithely ignorant.

The conversation in Thorin’s chambers plays over in his mind. They had certainly made what they wanted clear but Fili is not at all ready to think about what _he_ wants, and his reaction to the knowledge of what _they_ want is a confusing mess of thoughts and feelings. He can’t deny that he feels the pull of attraction for them, but he also resents the knowledge that they’ve had over him for so long. They’ve watched him and waited.

He supposes that is why Kili had not wanted to bond with either of the mothers of his dwarflings and Fili suddenly frowns to himself as he wonders, from an entirely new perspective, about Kili’s motivations for fatherhood.

His skin prickles with heat and he pushes the fur covers off, sighing fretfully. It’s not just temperature that is making his skin tingle though, it is also the memory of the desire he’d seen in Thorin’s eyes, of the seduction he’d heard in Kili’s voice. He knows how male dwarves lie with other male dwarves but he has never really though about mating with anyone, either male or female, at all. As an unmatured it has never had any appeal, but now there are images that stir something in him. Warm skin sliding along his own, deep voices whispering in his ear, a braid trailing over his body. He pushes the thoughts away and finally falls into a restless doze.

He awakes feeling heavy and lethargic and wonders if it is just fatigue or another sign of his approaching change.

His stomach grumbles its displeasure that he has failed to eat since yesterday’s noon meal and he cautiously approaches the dining chamber in search of breakfast. To his relief, the room is empty, and Fili realises that the Halls had been strangely vacant as well. He guesses that Thorin is keeping out anyone who is not essential and Fili is not sure what to think of that.

The Halls of Royalty in Erebor are far larger than those of Ered Luin and one feature of them has always been a favourite place for Fili, a long low-walled ledge looking out over the great Entrance Hall of Erebor. He fills a dish and goes there now, settling on one of the benches near the balustrade, and looks out over the already bustling crowd.

As always the Hall is busy with dwarves, a scattering of men, and even a few elves, for elves are now tolerated in Erebor. As he eats, his eyes roam over the crowds but always they are drawn to certain dwarves and, even though he does not recognise some of them, he knows that they are all Alphas. The draw is even more powerful than it had been the day before in the Central Market and it is not long until his entire focus is only on them.

Unconsciously he stands, leaning over the wall, his hair falling forward. They are like beacons drawing him in, his pulse quickens and his mouth is dry, and a part of him wants to go down there and follow them so that they don’t go beyond his sight.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there but eventually he realises that a young Alpha dwarf is standing not far away, staring up at him. A moment later there are three more beside him, all of them gazing up at Fili and even from a distance he can see the hunger in them. Hunger for _him_. It hits him hard in the gut, and he quickly steps back into the shadows, trying to catch his breath.

When he finally manages to clear his mind, he curses his foolishness at having gone to the balcony. He had thought that he would be well hidden and had completely underestimated how much he would be caught up in watching them… and now they _know_.

He only has himself to blame for it though and as he walks through the empty hallways, seething with annoyance, he vows to spend the rest of the day alone in his quarters.

But when he enters his chambers, Kili is there, waiting for him, and oh Mahal, if the other Alphas were beacons, then Kili is a bonfire. The way his brother _looks_ … solid and strong, sure in his body and his power. His dark hair falls around his shoulders in waves, braidless as usual, and it shines in the amber light of the lamps. Their eyes meet and something swoops in Fili’s stomach.

He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath.

″What are you doing here?″ he asks.

″I wanted to make sure that you are all right,″ Kili says, and his voice is soft and low with concern and whatever is going on with Fili’s stomach increases tenfold.

″I’m fine,″ Fili says, and he can’t stop himself from walking further into the room and closer to Kili. It’s not until Kili rises from his chair that Fili finally manages to regain control of his feet and halt.

″I know how hard this is, Fili,″ Kili says.

Fili shakes his head. ″No you don’t,″ he replies. ″You and I… we always expected to be Alphas, and _you_ are.″

Kili walks slowly towards him and it is sheer force of will that makes Fili stand his ground, although he’s not sure whether he would have retreated or met Kili halfway. Kili’s hand reaches out tentatively and then lightly grips one of Fili’s braids, his fingers toying with it.

″I worry that you are finding this so difficult,″ Kili says. ″All my life you’ve looked after me and now I want to look after you. If you’ll let me.″ He smiles, the smile that he has always used to coax Fili into some sort of mischief. ″I’ll braid my hair for you. A bonding braid.″

And damn him, Fili thinks, it’s always been hard for him to deny Kili anything, and it’s doubly hard to resist him now, but Fili hasn’t even got his head around being an Omega. He has no idea what to think of being bonded.

"We would never be separated," Kili whispers, and Fili remembers. He remembers what it had felt like all those years ago to leave Kili behind. He’d never wanted to do it again. And he remembers the way _he’d_ felt left behind when Kili had reached his final maturing ahead of him. To be with Kili is all he’s ever really wanted and, from the moment he first saw him, to be by Thorin’s side as well. But this is entirely different from anything he had ever imagined.

And he feels like there is still so much he needs to know and he’s running out of time. He draws his braid out of Kili’s hand and forces himself to move away, ignoring the look of disappointment on Kili’s face.

″Tell me,″ he says, ″why were you suddenly in such a rush to sire dwarflings?″

″I knew that I would want to bond with you soon,″ Kili says, after a moment, and Fili knows that he’s holding something back. ″I wouldn’t have had the opportunity after that.″

Fili almost rolls his eyes for there, yet again, is Kili’s confident assumption about their future. ″That wasn’t the only reason though, was it?″

″Does it matter that much?″

″Yes, actually, it does,″ Fili says, annoyance rising.

″Fine,″ Kili says, flatly. ″At first I did it for you. I’m glad I did it because I love having them, but my first thought was to give you the Heir I knew you wouldn’t be able to sire yourself.″

He’d guessed that had to be the reason but it still feels like a slap in the face and Fili sucks in a harsh breath. It’s humiliating, as if Kili had been _forced_ to perform a duty that Fili was incapable of when he hadn’t even known it. And oh, he _knows_ that Kili had enjoyed some aspects of it no matter the relief that Fili remembers seeing in his eyes when the Heir had been born.

"And now you want the payment for your sacrifice, is that it? Well, maybe I’ll just visit the Halls of the Unbonded myself."

He regrets the words as soon as he’s said them but he hadn’t been able to control the surge of dismay and anger he’d felt and the impulse to lash out and hurt had been too strong. Inwardly, he’s shocked at himself. He’s never been so volatile, and he guesses it’s yet another indication that his Heat is drawing ever closer.

For a moment Kili just looks stunned but then his eyes narrow and when he moves closer again, Fili holds his ground. He’s not afraid. He could never fear Kili, but the nervous tension in his stomach is almost unbearable.

"You have no idea what the Unbonded Halls are like, Fili," Kili murmurs, moving even nearer until Fili can feel the stubble of Kili’s short beard brushing against his temple.

"You think I couldn’t get my _payment_ from you if I followed you there?″ Kili continues, his lips brushing Fili’s ear. ″You would be unbonded. I could have you there at the peak of your Heat and you would be so lost in it that you wouldn’t even realise it was me. The Unbonded Omegas prefer it that way. Are you going to be one of them?"

"If I want to," he manages to say, because he’s not going to give in, even if Kili’s warm proximity is making him feel heavy and almost dazed.

"I _know_ you, Fili," Kili says, ″and somehow I don’t think that’s really what you want. You’ve always valued your privacy and I don’t see that changing.″

Fili’s heart is thumping so hard that he wonders if Kili can hear it. He could take everything that Kili has just said as some sort of threat but he knows his brother well enough to know that it’s a flash of impulsive anger and nothing more, but even so, he shifts restlessly. To his relief, Kili steps away and when Fili looks up he can see the contrite expression in Kili’s eyes.

″I’m sorry, Fili,″ Kili says softly. ″I… I shouldn’t have said all that. And it's not true. If you told the guards there to keep me away, they would. But the truth is all I’ve wanted to do is make this easier for you, and siring an Heir was a part of that. Perhaps it was wrong of me but I can’t regret it now that I have them. I’m sorry if it has hurt you, I never wanted to do that.″

Fili sighs. His anger has drained away and now he just feels exhausted again. Kili must sense it for he moves away towards the door and Fili sighs again, with relief.

″You keep getting angry at us, Fili,″ Kili says, his hand on the door latch, ″″and I wonder if you’re really so angry at _us,_ or at the fact that this is not turning out as you expected. _″_

″Do you think I don’t have reason to be angry with you?″ Fili says. ″ _You_ should have told me, Kili.″

″We were worried,″ Kili answers. ″I knew how sure you always were that we’d both be Alphas and I didn’t know how you’d react so I agreed that it was better to keep to the rule and wait until the change had begun. In the past, there have been Omegas who didn’t cope well with the knowledge, some even caused harm to themselves. You are strong, Fili, but how could we know what might happen? How could we risk _you_? I was afraid of losing you. I still am.″

He stands for a long moment after Kili has gone, staring at his door, Kili’s words echoing in his head.

Yes, he’d been angry with them for not telling him about his forthcoming sexual identity but Fili is honest enough with himself to admit that he’s not sure what he would have done if they had. He does know that it would have been a burden that would have affected him in every waking moment… and not for the good, if his current mood is anything to go by. So had they been right? Or should they have given him the opportunity to decide that for himself? It would certainly be something to think about for the future.

As for Kili’s admission about his reasons for fatherhood, Fili is not sure what to think, or even sure why he had the reaction to it that he’d had. Kili was surprisingly practical sometimes, and this seemed to be no exception, but Fili is curious as to just how much of the idea had actually been Kili’s.

He knows that it might be tempting fate to face up to another Alpha but he still has so many questions. Not only that, he wants to see Ori again and he’s definitely not willing to risk leaving the Halls of Royalty after what had happened earlier on the balcony... and the Halls have been so empty that he’s pretty sure that only permission from the King will get anyone through the doors.

He finds Thorin in his private council chamber. Fili hesitates just inside the doorway and watches Thorin cautiously. His uncle is sitting at one of the tables, writing something on a scroll, and the long fall of his hair hides his face. He is dressed simply in boots, dark trousers and a long blue tunic belted with silver and Fili can see the restrained strength even in the loose relaxed poise of his body.

For some reason he can’t tear his eyes away from Thorin’s hand as it lightly holds the quill he is using and his breath catches in his throat when he realises that he’s imagining what it would be like to have that hand on his skin.

 _This isn’t a good idea_ , he thinks, and he’s about to turn and leave when Thorin speaks.

"What is it, Fili?"

To his shame, a quiver runs through Fili at the sound of Thorin’s voice, and he hopes desperately that his uncle, who is now standing and looking at him, doesn’t see it.

He takes a deep breath and fully enters the room, although he keeps a wary distance from Thorin and is absolutely certain that Thorin is aware of it.

"I wanted to talk," Fili says, and thankfully he doesn’t sound as breathless as he feels. It’s almost as if he can feel the warmth of Thorin’s body even from a distance and he only wants to move closer. He fights it and stays where he is.

"Did you tell Kili to sire an Heir?"

He can’t keep the confusion he still feels over that out of his voice and he needs to know how deep their plans had gone.

"No," Thorins says. "It’s true that once Kili had matured we talked of the situation but it was his choice alone. But I can’t say that I regret his decision.″

"But you never thought of siring an Heir yourself?"

Thorin walks over to a small table on which stands silver goblets and a carafe of fine Dale red wine. Fili’s eyes track him all the way.

"If I had done that," Thorin says, pouring out two goblets, " _you_ would not have been my Heir."

Warmth blooms in Fili’s chest as he hears the words and understands what they mean. Thorin holds out one of the goblets and, without thinking, Fili moves forward and takes it.

"Even after you knew I would be an Omega, you still wanted me as your Heir?"

His eyes are caught by Thorin’s now so he clearly sees the concerned confusion in their depths.

"Why would that have made any difference?" Thorin asks quietly. "Do you think an Omega can’t be a king?"

"How can I be?" The question almost bursts out of him and Fili knows now that this has been one of his fears, one that he has buried deep. "How can I be when every Alpha seeks to dominate me?"

"Oh Fili." Thorin sighs. When he raises a hand to brush his fingers along Fili’s cheek, Fili cannot step away. "That is a very different matter, one that has no bearing on your role as a king or a warrior or a master of your Craft. And you are a Durin, there is strength in your blood, more than you know, and as an Omega your skill with strategy will be enhanced. True, some care will be needed to work around your Heat times, just as all the Omegas do, but those arrangements are easily made. And it is not as black and white as you see it now. Your surrender entices us, lures us. Isn’t that a form of domination in itself? "

"Just by mating," Fili says, flatly.

Thorin steps close and suddenly his hand is sliding into Fili’s hair. For a moment Fili’s breath stutters in apprehension but Thorin only rests his forehead against Fili’s, their noses barely brushing.

"It is more than that," Thorin whispers. "You are forgetting about love.″

Fili only dimly hears the words. All of his focus is on the feeling of Thorin’s hand, heavy and warm against his head, his fingers brushing against the skin of Fili’s neck. He can feel Thorin’s breath against his lips and he just _wants_... he’s not sure what he wants, maybe it’s for Thorin to close the space between them and take all of Fili’s thoughts away with his mouth and his hands.

He takes a deep shaking breath and steps back, slipping out of Thorin’s hold. Thorin lets him go but Fili’s eyes widen when he realises that Thorin is breathing hard, as if he has been as affected by the moment as Fili has been.

Fili takes a sip of the wine and uses the opportunity to move even further away. The ache he feels at the distance is disconcerting and suddenly his mind is clouded with the vision of being in Thorin’s arms and he almost starts to step closer again. He resists the urge with all he has because he knows that if he doesn’t and he goes into Thorin’s embrace, he might not be able to leave it.

"I want to see Ori," he finally manages to say.

"I will send a message to him," Thorin replies, ″and the guards will let him through. Although you should know that other Alphas have somehow become aware of your situation.″

Fili flushes as he remembers his foolishness that morning on the ledge over the Great Hall.

″There have been offers for you already,″ Thorin continues. ″Do you want to know who they are?″

Thorin’s voice is bland but Fili can hear the hint of an Alpha growl threading through it and he knows that it has been difficult for his uncle to mention those he sees as competition. To his annoyance a little thrill goes through him at the idea and he stifles it quickly.

"No, I don’t," Fili answers with no hesitation. The knowledge that there are Alphas that he has perhaps never even seen before now running to claim him is distasteful… although he does wonder if it will seem so once his Heat fully takes hold over him.

"Very well," Thorin says, and Fili can tell that he’s pleased at the answer by the depth of his voice. It seems to throb right through Fili and he backs away to the door even as Thorin takes a step closer.

"Yes, I think you should go now," Thorin murmurs. "I will send Ori to you."

Fili tells himself that he doesn’t flee the room but it’s a near thing, perhaps the only hindrance to it has been the fact that his legs are trembling. It’s not until he’s trying to walk to his chambers that he realises that his shaft is hard and throbbing between his thighs.

It has happened sometimes before, in the aftermath of battle, but this feels different. Less about anger and relief and more about… want and need. When he gets back to his chambers he leans against the closed door and touches himself, his hand pressing over his hardness, and his head thuds back on the door at the quiver of sheer pleasure that runs through his body. He feels hot all over and that makes him stop, for the thought runs through his head that if he continues he might tip himself over into the Heat that is coming and he is not ready… although he’s not sure he ever will be.

He is almost shocked to discover that the goblet is still in his hand but it is a great relief to drain the last of the cool wine from it. He moves to the fireplace, places the goblet on the stone ledge above it, and waits for the tension in his body to ease. By the time there is a light knock on the door his shaft has softened and his breathing has returned to normal. He calls Ori into the room.

"I got a message that you wanted to see me," Ori says, and Fili can hear the concern in his voice. "I knew why… it’s all over Erebor, but I swear I didn’t tell anyone, not even Dwalin and Nori."

"I know, Ori," Fili sighs, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of the fire. "Dwalin… guessed… last night but it’s my fault that everyone knows. I didn’t want to see you about that."

Ori nods and takes a seat. "All right then," he says. "How can I be of service?"

Fili smiles and then leans his head against the hand that is still resting on the mantelpiece, and stares down at the flames in the fireplace.

"How do you bear this?" he finally whispers, after a few moments of listening to Ori shifting restlessly in his seat.

"Bear it?" Ori sounds thoroughly shocked. "Why do you think it’s something I bear?"

Fili lifts his head. "You said that you wanted to hide from it," he reminds Ori. "I can understand why."

"I told you, that was just because I didn’t fully realise that I was becoming an Omega at the time," Ori says. "It was confusing, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Once I knew, I adjusted, but _you_ seem to think I have something to feel ashamed of."

"No, Ori," Fili splutters, because Ori now sounds thoroughly offended.

"Or perhaps you feel that _you_ are the one who is shamed?″ Ori asks, ignoring him. ″Why do you think that being an Omega is such a terrible thing, Fili?"

″I don’t, not really-″ Fili begins, but Ori is already talking again.

″I _like_ begin an Omega, Fili,″ he says. ″I love being bonded to Dwalin and Nori and I love that they are _my_ Alphas. I love them and they love me. As for the Heat, that’s a part of it… and I _like_ that part of it too. Yes, it does take some getting used to… and it is overwhelming at first, but it’s really only a small part of our relationship. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Why do you feel that it is?″

″Are you actually going to let me answer this time?″ Fili asks, wryly, and he smiles when Ori looks abashed.

″Look, it’s not exactly shame,″ he continues quietly. ″Perhaps it’s more like... disappointment. I had always assumed that I would be an Alpha like Thorin and Kili.″

Fili takes the seat opposite Ori and stares at his own hands.

″And then there’s mother,″ he says. ″Either Thorin or Kili must have told her at some point. She says she’ll always be proud of me but I know, that like a lot of Betas, she doesn’t understand the Omegas, she _pities_ them. I’m going to be King one day, Ori. Thorin says it makes no difference but how can I be King when part of my realm sees me as a prize, and the other part pities me?″

Ori looks thoughtful for a moment and then he smiles.

″I think that you’re forgetting exactly who you are, Fili,″ he says. ″You were one of Thorin’s companions to reclaim Erebor, you’ve proven yourself time and again. Everyone here respects you for that and if there are some Betas who pity us, then so what? You, as an Omega King, will teach them not to.″

Fili can’t help being touched by Ori’s faith in him but he still shakes his head. ″I hope you’re right, Ori.″

″I think I am,″ Ori says. ″Yes, it’s been the main topic of talk this morning, and yes, there is the excitement you’d expect amongst the Alphas. And I won’t lie, there is some political manoeuvring mixed in with it. But there is no talk of pity that I have heard. Mostly everyone is speculating about whether you will bond quickly and who it will be with if you do.″

Fili groans. ″That’s the other thing,″ he confesses. ″Thorin and Kili want to bond with me.″

Ori smiles. ″Yes, well, they are the front-runners in the gossip mill. Everyone knows what a powerful blood-tie bond that would be. It’s almost as if-″

″Don’t you dare say it’s as if it was meant to be, Ori,″ Fili snaps. ″I’m annoyed with fate enough as it is.″

″You do seem to be struggling with this more than I did,″ Ori says, thoughtfully. ″Maybe it’s because my mother was an Omega. I grew up with it. I saw that it wasn’t such a big deal to live with and, once I knew what was going on, I could accept that it was happening to me. Although all the speculation _was_ embarrassing.″

Fili rolls his eyes.

″Yes,″ he agrees. ″And… it embarrasses me that _they_ knew all this time. That they watched me, waiting, and they _thought_ about it. Thought about what would happen.″

He can’t say anymore because he’s feeling strangely breathless and his face feels hot.

"Are you sure it’s embarrassment?" Ori asks softly. "You’re changing now, you’re responses are changing. I remember when Nori told me that he wanted to bond with me, I felt flattered."

Fili groans and drops his head in his hands. Ori’s words cause a reaction in him; something warm and sinuous that winds through his body, coils in his stomach and pools in his groin and as much as he resists, he knows that there is an element of truth there. A part of him _is_ flattered for they are powerful Alphas and they _want_ him. _Thorin_ has waited for him.

"Of course," Ori continues, "I knew that I wanted to bond with him and Dwalin. I was ready to do that. Maybe you’re not quite ready for that.″

And maybe Ori is right, Fili thinks, because as much as he has no choice but to admit that he _wants_ them… he’s just not certain how far that goes. Thinking about bonding is just one step too many when he’s already going through so many changes that he hadn’t expected. Maybe after he’s finally over the hurdle of his first Heat – and Fili shivers at the thought of that – he’ll be able to think more clearly and resolve some of the issues that he has about what has happened with them.

"I’m not,″ he finally says. ″It feels too much like I’m being pushed into a corner. I’m not saying that it’s what they intended to do, but it’s this… situation.″

Ori nods. ″And the way it’s making you feel,″ he confirms.

″Thank you, Ori,″ Fili says gratefully. ″I know I’ve been asking you a lot of questions but you’ve really been a big help.″

Ori stands and places a hand on Fili’s shoulder. ″I’m glad that I could,″ he says. ″I’m due for my own Heat at some point in the next couple of weeks so I suppose l'll see you after that.″

Fili nods gratefully.

″You know that you’re going to have to tell them,″ Ori continues, softly.

Fili rises, takes the silver goblet from the shelf above the fireplace and turns it in his hand. The set of goblets had been one of the first things he’d ever been proud of making and he remembers how excited he’d been to give them to Thorin.

"I know," Fili sighs.

 


	6. Chapter 6

It is some time later when Fili seeks out Thorin once again and this time he finds him in the dining chamber. Kili is not there and Fili is not sure whether he’s glad about that or not.

He hovers in the doorway for a moment and then drifts into the room. Thorin is in a chair in front of the fire but when Fili clears his throat, Thorin looks up and stands.

"Fili," he says and smiles, and Fili’s heart wants to jump out of his chest because that smile is like a warm promise and it makes him want to give Thorin whatever he wants.

So, halfway across the room he forces himself to halt and stand his ground.

"I’ve done a lot of thinking," he says, keeping his voice firm, "and I need to tell you that I can’t bond. I’m not ready to do that."

Thorin bows his head for a moment and when he looks up again Fili thinks that his eyes look darker.

"It was too soon," Thorin says softly, almost to himself.

″It might be a long time before I ever think about bonding,″ Fili clarifies. ″With _anyone_.″

Thorin must hear the faint thread of resentment that Fili has been unable to keep out of his voice because his eyes narrow and his gaze sharpens.

″Forget bonding,″ Thorin says, and Fili is so surprised at the strain he can hear in Thorin’s voice that he can’t restrain a gasp. ″Yes, it’s true that for many years I have hoped that one day you would accept the offer to bond with Kili and I, but Kili and I aren’t going anywhere and we know how to wait. This is not about that. This is _your_ time, your first Heat, and I’m only concerned with what _you_ want. Do you understand?″

Fili nods, speechless, his heart thumping hard in his chest.

″I realise now that I did not make that clear enough,″ Thorin continues. ″And that is why we must now speak very plainly. I can sense that your Heat will come upon you in the next few hours. At first there will be some clarity, but with no bond-mates to ground you, you will quickly lose yourself in it and at its peak you will only know Alpha and Omega. Your instinct will be to find the nearest unbonded Alphas, particularly those that you already have close ties with. So...″

Fili’s eyes widen when Thorin falters, and his still thudding heart skips a beat when Thorin lets out a little growl of pure Alpha frustration.

″So,″ Thorin finally says. ″If you intend to go to the Halls of the Unbonded it must be soon and Dwalin will see that you get there. It would not do to wander through Erebor in full Heat if you do not wish to come to us.″

The last is said in a rush and Fili knows that it has cost Thorin some effort to say it for the strain and the possessive note had been clear in his voice.

″Do you know what you want to do?″ Thorin asks.

Fili feels his face flush, both from the hint of longing he can hear in the question and the fact that Fili still has little idea how to answer it despite the fact that his body has been making it abundantly clear to him how much he _wants_ Thorin and Kili. There is only one thing that he is certain of and that is that he does not want to go to the Halls of the Unbonded.

Ori had left some notes for him when he had left; notes that he had made from what he had learnt about the Halls from Unbonded Omegas, and Fili had read them. It was clear that there would be safety in the Halls. The guards would only let those near him that Fili had specified. But he would have to think about and decide who those would be because the guards would also not let his Heat run on unsatisfied to the point where he was in distress or pain.

And there is a part of Fili that wants to leave it in the hands of chance. He is a Durin, there is great strength in his blood, and perhaps he can make it through this Heat alone. And if he cannot… then, what will be will be.

He looks up, meets Thorin’s eyes, and sees the tension that Thorin is trying to conceal. He supposes he could ease it by telling Thorin that he won’t go to the Unbonded Halls but if he is truly going to leave it to chance then there is no reason for _them_ to expect the possible outcome when he doesn’t yet know it himself.

″I will think on it and talk to Dwalin myself,″ he finally says.

There is a flash of emotion in Thorin’s eyes that Fili can’t decipher before it is just as quickly gone.

″Very well,″ Thorin says, heavily. ″I promise to you that neither Kili or I will interfere with the decision you make. We will not leave the Halls of Royalty.″

The message is clear. If Fili needs them, they will be waiting, and he can’t restrain the sudden flush to his face at the idea of it. Thorin drifts slowly closer, his eyes locked on Fili’s face.

″You fight so hard against it,″ Thorin murmurs. ″Why?″

Fili sucks in a harsh, almost sobbing breath at the question even as he can’t seem to drag his eyes away from Thorin’s.

″I thought it was obvious,″ he says sharply. ″I never expected this. I never wanted it.″

″And yet it has been within you all this time,″ Thorin says. ″Shaping who you are and who you will become. Why do you think you were always so quick to see the advantage, in battle or in diplomacy? Have you not noticed how often it is you who has seen the best resolution in negotiation? That is the Omega that has always been within you, has always been a part of you. Frankly, I wish there were more Omegas willing to sit on the council.″

Thorin’s smile is a quick flash, inviting Fili’s own amusement and his words offer some comfort that Fili hadn’t expected to feel. Thorin is close now and his proximity is intoxicating, giving Fili the same heavy, dazed feeling he’d experienced earlier with Kili. He’s caught in Thorin’s eyes like a moth to a flame.

"Fili?"

It is Kili’s voice, quiet and low behind him, and Fili turns swiftly, startled.

Kili’s eyes are the darkest that Fili has ever seen them, dark as a starless night, but his smile is soft and hopeful and it makes Fili’s heart seem to clench in his chest.

As Kili takes a step forward, Fili, without really thinking, takes one back and finds himself pressed against Thorin behind him.

"Fili?" Kili repeats, taking another step closer and it is Thorin, reaching forward to place a hand on Kili’s chest, that halts him.

"Wait," Thorin says.

And it is infuriating, Fili thinks, that he now finds himself blushing, yet again, for many reasons. For the look in Kili’s eyes, for the fact that a part of him wishes that Thorin had not stalled Kili’s advance, and for the way he can already feel his body responding to the warmth of Thorin’s solid strength behind him.

All of this goes through his mind as he watches Kili take a deep breath and seem to settle himself... but there is still hopeful expectation in his eyes and Fili must now disappoint him. Something he’s not very good at doing.

″I came to tell Thorin,″ he says. ″I don’t want to bond… with anyone.″

Something flares in Kili’s eyes, something that looks like alarm. It is only there for a moment but it is enough to make Fili’s stomach churn, for to cause a look like that in Kili’s eyes is something that he’s never wanted to do.

He is still pressed against Thorin and with Kili standing close before him, there is a feeling of being hemmed in. Something sharp ripples through Fili’s stomach, as if the idea rises some sort of excitement and almost instantly he is aware of the arousal building heavily in his groin.

″I need to leave this room," he says, and it feels like he is trying to talk after running for days. "Let me leave."

Kili’s eyes widen and Fili is grateful when he slowly backs away but the lure of Thorin’s body behind him holds Fili in place for a moment.

″Go,″ Thorin says softly. ″I will explain to Kili.″

Without looking at either of them Fili flees.

The tension does not fade when he reaches his chambers. Thoughts seem to skitter around his mind, words that Thorin had said, the strength and power that Fili had sensed in his body, the look in Kili’s eyes.

His shaft is hard and aching between his legs and no matter how much he paces the room and tries to ignore it, it won’t ease. He knows what it must mean and it feels like he is standing on the brink of a cliff about to fall into a dark abyss. He is rapidly running out of time.

Eventually he settles in his chair by the fire and can no longer resist. He unlaces his trousers and slips a hand inside, wrapping it around his erection. At the first touch, his head drops back against the chair at the sensation that shoots through his body. His hand is dry and warm but there is fluid now gathering at the tip of his shaft and he gathers it and spreads it. He lets out a soft moan; the wet warm slide of his hand over his own flesh is a pleasure unknown, never imagined.

The pressure rises and heat coils deep and low with an ache that he doesn’t know how to relieve.

He is gasping for air when he spills over his hand, his hips arching up from the chair. When it is over, he slumps, boneless and relaxed and it is some moments later that he realises the ache is still there, deep inside.

He ignores it, cleans himself, and goes to bed. Thankfully sleep comes swiftly.

He’s not sure how much time has passed when he wakes. The firelight is dim in the room but the timepiece on the table is still visible and tells him that it is not long after the middle of the night. His skin feels hot and dry against the linens on his bed but down below, inside, he feels damp and when he spreads his legs he can feel the thick slide of moisture between his buttocks.

Fili flings an arm across his eyes and groans. He knows what this is, it is one of the few things that he’d learnt about male Omegas, the way their bodies would prepare for mating during a Heat, when there was limited time for preparation and knotting was inevitable.

Even the thought of an Alpha's knot brings on another surge of the slickness between his legs and his shaft is instantly hard and straining against his abdomen, but it is the ache that is the hardest to bear. It is the ache of emptiness, of needing the pressure of the knot, and the hot flood of an Alpha's seed inside him. It is a wonder to him that he can crave so strongly something that he has never experienced but it doesn’t change the fact that the desire for it is there.

He rolls over onto his stomach and moves his hips as he seeks some sort of friction for his shaft but instead the position seems to make the ache inside him become more intense, and he gets out of the bed quickly.

His mouth and lips are dry and without even bothering to pour a tankard he drains the water jug in his room. He pulls on his trousers and slips on a tunic, he won’t wander the Halls naked but he doesn’t bother with his boots. He’s halfway to the door before he realises what he is doing.

Fili halts in the middle of the room, panting for breath. His only thought had been to find an Alpha, and the need still sings through his mind and body, but the shock he feels is a distraction. Thorin had warned him, but Fili is stunned at how quickly and powerfully the instinct had taken over.

He turns quickly and makes his way to his bathing chamber, shedding his clothes along the way. He sinks into the stone pool that is always naturally filled with the steaming water that the heat of the mountain provides. It is a luxury that Ered Luin never had and one that Fili loves but now it does not surprise him that it offers him no respite from the demand in his body.

There is still dismay at how quickly this has happened. Two days ago he’d had no clue of what lay in his future and now, here he is, falling rapidly into his first Heat. Mixed in with the need, and the growing hunger that is almost approaching pain, is a sense of mortification for already it is more than he could ever have expected.

He stays in the water for a long time, eyes closed, as the ache grows and his skin burns. Soon he is trembling, as every muscle in his body seems to fill and tighten with tension. Thoughts of Thorin and Kili, _strong Alphas, powerful Alphas_ , circle around the edges of his mind no matter how much he tries to distract himself, with ideas for new gem designs, scrolls he has read, stories he has heard, anything he can think of.

‘ _It is what it is, Fili, don’t make it harder for yourself,_ ’ Ori’s words echo in his head and Fili groans through teeth clenched in pain. The warm water no longer offers any relief and Fili drags himself out of it and with shaking hands, dries himself off and then dresses in the trousers and tunic he had earlier abandoned. His skin seems to burn and itch, and the ache is heavy inside him, an ache that will only be relieved by the touch of an Alpha.

He paces the room, hands clenched. Every breath he takes is a harsh gasp, every exhale a low whine of pain. The slick moisture leaking out of him is now a steady, slow flow and he can feel that it is soaking into the trousers he is wearing. It’s uncomfortable but he knows that there is no point in changing them and the discomfort is minor compared to what he is feeling in the rest of his body.

His eyes land on the silver goblet that is still standing on his mantelpiece. He had made it for Thorin and it is almost like the sight of it opens his mind to the thoughts of Thorin that he has been trying to avoid. Within seconds he is at the door, his hand on the latch, as every part of his body seems to clench in his need to be near Thorin. His shaft is harder than it has ever been, straining and throbbing between his legs, but it is nothing to the ripple of need that lances through his stomach, almost making him bend in two.

He rests his head against the cool wood of the door and moans softly. It seems that chance has thrown the dice and the result is clear, and he wonders now if the outcome was inevitable. Another quiver goes through his body and he no longer cares. He only _wants_.

He opens the door and passes quietly out into the Halls. All is silent and the golden lights are dimmed but Fili finds his way to Thorin’s bedchamber swiftly.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Fili has never been inside Thorin’s private rooms before, has had no reason to be there, but even so he doesn’t knock, he just opens the door, slips through and closes it as quietly as he can. He leans against the door, heart thumping, eyes searching the room.

The chamber is large and dimly lit with firelight and amber lamps. There are high-backed chairs facing the fire, a few tables, some tall cupboards against the green stone walls, blue and silver wall hangings. It is all a blur until his eyes land on the bed.

It is large and wide with a tall headboard carved with ravens, and tall posts at each corner. It is covered in fine linen and furs… but it is also empty.

"Fili."

Thorin’s deep voice settles over him like a warm caress and Fili almost moans with the way that it makes desire slide through his veins. There is another surge of moisture inside him, slicking his passage, and more of it trickles out of the puckered opening between his buttock cheeks, making him shift uncomfortably.

His eyes lock onto Thorin where he stands beside a chair near the fire as if he has just risen from it. His long fur robe is open revealing a broad bare chest, defined muscles covered with fine hair that trails down to his low-slung trousers, held by a belt and a silver buckle that Fili had made for him long ago. His long hair flows around his shoulders and the sight of him makes Fili’s mouth go dry.

Another rippling cramp rifles through Fili’s gut and a low groan of pain and need escapes. He slumps against the door and gasps for breath.

″Fili?″ Thorin repeats, and this time there is shock in it. A moment later he stands before Fili, and Fili has one short glimpse of the concern in his eyes before he is pulled into Thorin’s firm embrace.

″You’re shaking,″ Thorin murmurs, but Fili isn’t really listening. Instead it is almost as if he is soaking up the warmth of Thorin’s body against his own and the relief of finally being so close to an Alpha is enormous. At the same time the tremors running through his body seem to increase and for a moment panic hovers close.

″Be easy,″ Thorin says, and the full Alpha tone in his voice threads through Fili’s mind, soothing his distress and bringing him back to a moment of clarity and calm. ″It will settle.″

A long moment passes in which the cramping pain finally passes and the shaking of his body eases. But the ache of his need is still there and now that he has the skin of an Alpha under his hands, Fili cannot keep them still.

He raises his hands to Thorin’s shoulders, pushes away the robe, and slides them over the muscles of Thorin’s chest, fingertips grazing his nipples. He feels the fine tremor of reaction to his touch and senses the strain of Thorin’s tightly held restraint and in that moment he realises that perhaps he does have some power here.

"Touch me," he whispers against Thorin’s skin.

There is no hesitation, and Thorin’s hands are swiftly on his skin, a soothing caress over his heated flesh as his tunic is lifted up and over his head. He presses closer, flesh to flesh, fingers tangling in Thorin’s hair.

″Kiss me,″ he murmurs in Thorin’s ear.

Thorin’s arms tighten around him, pulling him closer, and Fili sighs as he feels the heat and hardness of the body against his own, and suddenly he is aware again of the way his own skin feels too hot and tight, and the heavy pulse of his heart that seems to echo in his groin. For a moment there is amazement at how quickly he has found himself here but then it is lost when Thorin’s lips meet his.

What begins as a soft tease soon becomes more as Thorin delves deep and Fili lets him, lost in the feeling of hot moist strength and stolen gasps of air. When Thorin’s tongue brushes along his own, he surrenders to it, and moans softly into the kiss.

When Thorin’s mouth leaves his, Fili sighs at the loss, but Thorin’s lips brush over Fili’s short beard and down to his throat. He presses a soft kiss there, followed by the gentle scrape of beard and teeth along Fili’s skin and the sensation seems to pass all the way through Fili’s body and his straining shaft twitches in his trousers. He shivers, and his head drops to Thorin’s shoulder, for it is becoming an effort to stand when all he wants now is to have Thorin over him, _in_ him.

"Bed me," he sighs against Thorin’s throat.

The answer is a low rumble out of Thorin’s chest and Fili revels in the sound of a full Alpha growl. He lifts his head eagerly, searching, and yet still gasps when Thorin’s mouth swoops down on his.

This is not like the kiss of a moment before, this is hard and full of hunger and it makes the fever that had eased to a simmer in Fili, flare into a full blaze again. There are no cramps or tremors of pain now, instead Fili is all want and need and greed and Thorin answers it all with his own demand until Fili is subdued by it. Then he begins to become aware again, to notice the way he has one hand clutching at Thorin’s shoulder, the other tangled in his dark hair, the way Thorin’s arms are around him, his hands sliding along Fili’s back. When they reach the loose trousers that Fili is still wearing they don’t stop but slip under the waistband to delve lower. Fili can’t contain his moan and he pulls away from the kiss to gasp for breath as Thorin’s large hands palm over his rear.

Thorin’s thick fingers pull his cheeks apart and one of them slides over Fili’s slick entrance and Fili is amazed to find that there is still a point at which he will blush.

"You are ready," Thorin murmurs with all the certain lust of an Alpha who knows that his possession of an Omega is inevitable. Fire leaps in Fili’s blood, the swooping sensation in his stomach makes him breathless, and the sudden acceptance that he _is_ an Omega and desperately hungry for an Alpha's knot, makes him light-headed.

"Yes," Fili sighs, and it feels like a confession.

Thorin’s mouth presses against Fili’s throat once more, waiting. Fili knows the question and he knows the answer. He tilts his head to the side in an offering of submission and Thorin is almost frozen for a moment, his body tense. Then his mouth is open and wet against Fili’s flesh, biting and sucking to leave an Alpha’s mark. The finger at Fili’s entrance slips just inside but the sensation is enough to make Fili’s hips shift backwards, eager for more, even as he lets out a soft sound of pure surprise.

Fili’s head drops forward to Thorin’s shoulder once more and the clean, almost spicy scent of Thorin’s hair is heavy in the air around him. He breathes it in and it makes him tighten around the finger inside him. It’s nowhere near what he needs though and a little moan of frustration escapes him.

A kiss that feels like an apology is pressed to his temple and then he is lifted, carried, and laid upon the bed.

His legs are wrapped around Thorin’s hips and he tries to reach for the silver buckle on Thorin’s belt but Thorin catches his hands and presses him down onto the bed.

Fili whines in protest but when Thorin takes his mouth again in a deep kiss, he forgets everything and loses himself in it. For a moment it is enough that an Alpha is finally over him, holding him down, the desperate ache eases and he relaxes into the furs beneath his back.

When Thorin finally draws back, Fili is almost calm, certain in the knowledge that he will have what he craves very soon, for he has felt Thorin’s hard length pressed against his own. He stares up into Thorin’s blue eyes, caught in the dark lust he sees in them, and waits.

"Turn," Thorin says in full Alpha voice, and Fili, with barely a thought, complies immediately.

He hears the clink of a buckle and the rustle of clothing, there is a dip of weight on the bed and then Fili’s trousers are pulled down and off. He shivers at the sensation of cooler air where he is so hot and wet, and writhes against the bed as another trickle escapes from his loosening hole.

All the desperation that had eased crashes back into Fili and he pushes up onto his hands and knees, shifting backwards until he can feel the warmth of the Alpha’s body behind him. He has enough control left not to beg, and is thankful for it, but still his thighs spread wider in a silent plea for what he needs.

He hears the soft hiss of indrawn breath behind him and there is pressure, sweet pressure, against his entrance but a moment later he whines in renewed frustration as he realises that it is a finger, then two, he can feel sliding into him. He tries to thrust back onto those fingers but a hand on his hip stalls him.

"Settle," the Alpha says.

Fili turns his head, looks back over his shoulder, and meets the steady gaze of the Alpha with a pleading look. The blue eyes are full of the promise of what is to come and suddenly the Alpha looms over him, chest pressed to Fili’s back, one arm winding around his waist, holding him in place.

The Alpha’s knees hold open the spread of Fili’s thighs as his upper body is pushed back down to the bed, his head resting against the Alpha’s powerful forearm. Hot breath ruffles his hair, he can feel the defined muscles of the Alpha against his back, and then there is hot pressure behind as the Alpha slowly enters him. Fili groans, both at the satisfaction and in surprise for the Alpha’s girth is more than he had expected.

"Easy," the Alpha murmurs. "I won’t hurt you."

"Thorin…?" Fili breathes, blinking at the sudden easing of the fog in his mind.

Thorin’s hand finds Fili’s and grasps it, their fingers tangling together and when Fili turns his head, his eyes lock onto Thorin’s square ring, the one Fili had made for him at Ered Luin and that Thorin had worn throughout the quest for Erebor. A moment later he realises that Thorin’s hips are now tight against his buttocks and the feeling of fullness surges over him.

And oh, it is better than he had ever thought it could be. Fili closes his eyes and loses himself in it as the Alpha slowly begins to move, rolling his hips up and into Fili, pressing deep before withdrawing just enough for Fili to feel the drag and stretch at his entrance.

Time hazes but eventually Fili can feel the way his tight passage is easing and becoming so slick and hot around the shaft inside him. The Alpha lets out a soft groan and the thrusts become longer, harder, deeper and Fili spreads even wider to welcome it.

"Beautiful," the Alpha purrs near his ear.

The Alpha’s voice is at full strength; heavy with seduction and possessive approval and in that moment it is the only sound that Fili wants to hear. A soft moan escapes his lips and he presses back into the lengthening thrusts.

"So eager," the Alpha murmurs, and there is a breathless quality to it now that spurs Fili on as he rolls his hips into every push the Alpha makes into him. "So eager for your first knot.″

The Alpha shifts slightly and for a moment Fili almost panics at the thought that he might be withdrawing but his movement merely changes the angle of his thrusts and suddenly the Alpha’s shaft is pressing and sliding against a place inside of Fili that makes him groan in pure full-throated ecstasy.

"You are ready for it," the Alpha pants, as Fili writhes against him.

"Please…" Fili gasps, there is so much pressure building up inside him but still he needs more.

"So good, so lovely," the Alpha whispers, and then his mouth is on Fili’s throat, pressing heavily against the Alpha mark, as he thrusts forward so hard that Fili’s knees slide along the linens. A strong hand on his hip keeps him in place but Fili is barely aware of it as he feels the first rush of an Alpha’s seed flowing into him and the sudden pressure of the swelling knot. He buries his face into the furs and practically howls at the overwhelming sensations.

He wants to collapse but the Alpha’s hands hold him still as he presses even deeper into Fili and suddenly Fili is spilling into a release that only seems to increase in intensity as he clenches around the knot inside him.

The Alpha makes a sound then, unlike any that Fili has heard before, a hoarse rumble full of deep satisfaction and utter fulfilment, a sound that echoes from the Alpha’s mouth on Fili’s throat all the way through his body. It makes warmth pool into his stomach, even as he can feel the Alpha’s release still flowing in hot gushes and he presses back in eagerness to take it all.

A hand against Fili’s cheek turns his head and then the Alpha’s mouth is on his, swallowing the moans that Fili can’t contain. The kiss becomes languid even as the Alpha still slowly moves his hips against Fili, gently moving the knot inside him. Eventually the lips leave his to caress over his ear, a sensation that makes Fili clench again causing another surge of the Alpha’s seed.

The Alpha eases Fili down to the bed, then settles him onto his side. A strong arm around his waist holds him tightly pressed to the Alpha’s chest as the knot inside him still pulses slowly. The Alpha’s hand strokes through his hair, pulling it back from Fili’s face with a soft caress and the fingers massaging into Fili’s scalp seem to bring him back out of the haze he has been lost in.

"You did well," the Alpha murmurs with heavy approval.

Fili has come back to himself enough now to feel that a part of him is reluctant to bask in an Alpha’s praise and he shifts uncomfortably in Thorin’s arms. The action results in a soft hiss behind him and those arms tighten around him.

"Be easy," Thorn whispers. "We will be joined for some time yet and I do not want you to suffer any pain."

A soft kiss is pressed to the nape of his neck and Fili relaxes, lulled by the warmth of the skin pressed against his back, the satisfaction of fullness inside him, the easing of the ache. Thorin’s lips trace his ear again and Fili can’t resist trailing his fingers through the silken length of dark hair that trails over his shoulder. He is glad that he can’t see Thorin’s eyes in that moment for he is suddenly feeling unaccountably awkward, even as the Heat still simmers through his blood.

Eventually he clears his throat. "How… how long?" he asks.

"I’m not sure," Thorin says and his voice, so soft and close to Fili’s ear makes him flush, for the intimacy of it seems oddly more intense than the fact that Thorin’s knot is still lodged inside him. ″It is many years since I’ve knotted so this may take longer than usual.″

Fili bites his bottom lip to hold in the moan of approval that wants to escape him at the idea that the Alpha he is tied to has waited for so long to give him his knot. Thankfully, Thorin doesn’t seem to notice.

"After I withdraw you will be able to rest for awhile," Thorin continues. ″But the Heat will rise again quickly. Too quickly for me to be able to satisfy you again so soon."

And Fili knows what that means. "Kili," he whispers.

"He will be with you when you wake," Thorin confirms, after pressing another soft kiss to Fili’s shoulder. There is tenderness in it, tenderness that Fili hadn't allowed himself to expect, and it makes his eyes sting.

The soft kisses continue and Fili lets himself get lost in the sensations, keeping his mind deliberately blank. Eventually exhaustion overcomes him and he has been dozing for quite some time when he feels Thorin pull away gently. The feeling is not exactly pleasant, for some of Thorin’s seed leaks out of him, and the ache of emptiness that Fili had earlier experienced returns. It is lessened, but Fili wonders how long it will be until it rises to an unbearable level yet again.

Thorin leaves the bed and then returns with a damp cloth and Fili takes it from him gratefully and uses it to clean himself.

″You should drink,″ Thorin says quietly, offering Fili a tankard.

The water is cool and refreshing and Fili drinks his fill with relief. The bed dips a little as Thorin returns to it and strong arms gather Fili in. Within minutes Fili succumbs to deep sleep.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

"Fili."

Fili shifts restlessly as the full voice of an Alpha penetrates his fevered dreams and he slowly drifts out of sleep. Immediately he is aware of the same ache of the Heat in his body and the proximity of an unbonded Alpha. It is not the same Alpha as before; he can sense the impulsive youth of this Alpha, his power, and the fact that his control over that power is not yet as tightly controlled as the previous Alpha’s had been.

The last Alpha had eased him through his first knotting, but this Alpha is barely holding back his eagerness - and yet, with a new Omega awareness that he seems now to have, Fili can also sense his experience. This is an Alpha who will dominate but who will also be playful… and he will be as attentive and careful with an Omega as the Alpha before. Fili opens his eyes and is not surprised to find that it is Kili kneeling above him, hands and knees straddling Fili’s body.

Kili is wearing a loose tunic and his favourite long leather coat, which drapes down to the bed, bracketing Fili. His hair flows around his face and Fili’s fingers itch to run through the silken mess but he manages to resist the urge. Although he can’t ignore the sudden surge of moisture inside his passage as he looks up at Kili.

″How long have you been here?″ Fili manages to mumble.

″A while,″ Kili says. ″I didn’t mean to wake you but you were getting very restless. You didn’t look comfortable.″

Fili actually almost laughs for ‘comfortable’ is not a word he’d use for describing the Heat, although he is not sure what words he _would_ use. Kili must see his amusement though for he slowly smiles, and his dark eyes sparkle. And, oh yes, it is getting harder for Fili not to reach out and touch now, for Kili is a bright flame in the daze of his Heat.

″I’m glad you still know me,″ Kili murmurs, and the Alpha tone creeping back into his voice actually makes Fili begin to part his legs instinctively before he manages to catch himself. ″Later you won’t.″

Kili trails a finger along Fili’s cheek and over his short beard and it is like fire follows the touch, scorching it into Fili’s skin. The Heat is building rapidly and Fili’s thoughts start to scatter.

″Don’t make me beg," he whispers, almost to himself.

Kili’s eyes widen as he gazes down at Fili, and then there is a confusing flicker of sadness in them as he leans closer.

"The truth is, Fili," Kili murmurs, his lips hovering over Fii’s. "I’m the one more likely to do the begging."

Fili is expecting a kiss and he _wants_ it, wants to feel Kili’s mouth on his, but instead, Kili leans down and presses his tongue to the side of Fili’s throat. When he feels slight pain from the pressure he realises that Kili is pushing on the mark left by Thorin, and he can’t stifle his soft moan.

Kili eventually pulls away and Fili stares up at him, almost trembling with anticipation for Kili’s dark eyes are full of rising lust. Fili shivers as Kili slides the linen sheet down Fili’s body and then startles as Kili suddenly kisses the scar from the wound that Fili had received during the Battle of the Five Armies.

"I thought I’d lost you that day," Kili murmurs, his breath hot against Fili’s skin. "And then you took so long to wake after."

"You had your own wounds," Fili reminds him, but his voice feels raw and it’s getting harder to actually put words together as the heat daze begins to take over.

Kili looks up at him. "I wasn’t dropped from a tower though," he says.

Fili shifts restlessly as his skin prickles and the ache of emptiness rises, throbbing through his body. He reaches up and tries to draw Kili down to him but Kili evades his hands and then grasps Fili’s wrists, looming over him as he holds Fili down.

For a moment Fili is utterly confused but when he feels how his body is responding to an Alpha’s display of dominance and when he sees the flare of heated demand in Kili’s eyes he realises what it is that Kili wants and is asking for.

There is a moment where Fili struggles with it. Submitting to Thorin had been easier than he had thought it would be, particularly as Thorin hadn’t demanded it, but had waited for it. But this is _Kili_ , his younger brother, and Fili had always thought that together they would be Alphas. Instead he is here, caught in the tension of his first Heat and mesmerised by the weight of authority in Kili’s eyes. It’s an authority that calls to him and stirs his blood. At the same time he remembers what Thorin had once told him about his surrender, about how it enticed them and lured them in... and yes, he realises, there _is_ a form of power in that.

So, Fili relaxes his body, tries to melt down into the bed underneath him, and turns his head to the side, baring the unmarked side of his throat. He can imagine what it looks like to the Alpha above him, a tempting picture of perfect submission, and he can’t stifle a soft moan of anticipation. It’s answered with a heavy Alpha growl and then Kili swoops down and presses his mouth to Fili’s throat and Fili welcomes it, strains to give Kili even more room as he feels the biting suction of receiving his second Alpha mark. His shaft is hard and he moans softly again at the warmth of the slick moisture that floods him inside.

″Fili,″ Kili breathes against Fili’s skin. ″ _Finally_.″

There’s a tremor of possession in Kili’s voice, laced with relief, and even through the growing haze of sheer want and need Fili can guess that Kili is thinking about _knowing_ and _waiting_ and all that it meant and that now, whatever happens in the future, that it is over. For both of them.

And somehow that thought makes the Heat burn hotter than it has yet, like a forge fire when it bursts from the furnace. He gasps into it, and writhes against the hold Kili has on him, but it’s not a struggle to escape, instead it is an invitation that he offers to the Alpha above him.

For a moment the Alpha is still, his lips resting against Fili’s heated skin, and then Fili is released in a flurry of sudden movement and rustling clothes. A moment later there is bare skin against him as the Alpha sinks down and takes Fili’s mouth in a forceful kiss, his tongue plunging deep. Fili opens himself to it eagerly, lets his own tongue tangle with the Alpha's.

The Alpha’s shaft, heavy and full, presses against Fili’s own and the sensation of it rocks through Fili’s body. He spreads his legs wide, arching up to welcome the way the Alpha’s hips move against him. His hands glide along warm, velvet skin, tracing the play of muscles in the Alpha’s back.

″Turn over,″ the Alpha murmurs into his ear after breaking the kiss. ″I can’t knot you like this.″

The delicious weight that has been holding Fili down is suddenly gone but he only has a moment to glance dazedly up at the Alpha before firm hands grip his hips encouraging him to turn.

And he goes easily for the ache for fulfilment is painful again now and, deep down inside, he still has the knowledge that he does not want to beg for it to be eased. He feels fingers testing his entrance, sliding in the wetness there, and then the Alpha, with no hesitation, slowly sinks into him, and Fili knows a moment of gratitude for the Alpha’s swift possession.

The Alpha takes him deeply, his body pressing Fili’s down into the bed, his hands wrapped around Fili’s wrists, holding him still in a display of strength that makes Fili gasp and tremble as the Heat flares even more intensely. Fili feels as if he is burning up in it, losing himself into a drifting, pulsing haze of sensation and need.

″I have you,″ the Alpha says, ″and I won’t let go.″

The Alpha’s voice is heavy with an Alpha’s full power of conquest, but there is reassurance behind it as well, as if the Alpha seeks to offer him something solid to hold onto. For a moment Fili’s mind seems clearer and he lifts his head.

″Kili,″ he whispers.

He feels lips press to the side of his face, his temple, then his ear, biting softly on his earlobe.

″Yes, stay with me,″ the Alpha murmurs, but Fili is already lost again.

All he can feel now is the thrust of the shaft inside him, the plunging push and the dragging pull, and the pressure of the bed against his own erection. Everything seems to be rising pressure until he feels like he is going to burst at any moment.

The Alpha kneels up behind him, his hands gripping Fili’s hips and pulling him up onto his knees in one smooth movement. Fili mumbles a protest at the loss of friction on his straining shaft but a moment later the Alpha’s hand is on him, stroking, and between one breath and the next, Fili climaxes.

″Fili,″ the Alpha growls, but Fili hardly hears it as he moans and presses his face into the pillow. The Alpha thrusts hard and deep and Fili feels once more the pulsing swelling of the knot and with the last of his energy he presses back against the Alpha, eager to take it all.

He feels the first rush of the Alpha’s seed inside him, finally easing the ever present ache, and then darkness takes him.

 

* * *

 

_He burns._

_He aches._

_Sometimes cool water runs down his throat. Another time he remembers eating something sweet._

_Always there are arms holding him, strong and sure, but the only time he finds some measure of ease is when he is filled, tied and bound to them... and he exists only for that feeling._

_Deep voices whisper in his ear but he can’t understand the words. He thinks sometimes he answers, that he pleads_ _for the fulfilment that only they can give._

 _He is_ _held_ _in water, the steamy warmth swirling around him a_ _s_ _hands_ _stroke_ _through his wet hair. For a moment the haze clears and he sees, with startling clarity, blue eyes gazing. He knows those eyes._

″ _Thorin?″ he whispers._

″ _I am here.″_

_The deep full voice of the Alpha surrounds him and for a moment he is anchored._

_He takes a deep breath and the flames rise again._

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Fili wakes slowly, his body aching. But this is not the same ache as before, this is more the ache he has felt after battle or a long hunt. This is the ache of a body well used.

His eyes open and he blinks into the dim light. He has no idea what time it is but as there is only the flickering light of the fire he guesses that it is night, or at most very early morning.

He stretches in the wide bed and then sits up suddenly... for the bed is not his own.

He is in Thorin’s bed and beside him, Thorin lies sleeping, sprawled out on his stomach, his hair trailing on the pillow. The linens are pulled down to his hips and Fili can see the strong muscles of his back and the runes tattooed on one shoulder and running down beside his spine.

A soft snore makes him turn his head and he is not at all surprised to see Kili sleeping on the other side of the bed for the memory of his Heat has flooded back into Fili’s mind.

Not that he can remember all of it, he thinks as his eyes drift over Kili’s body, and he frowns at the sight of the new tattoo on Kili’s upper arm. He had not known of it, but it is the same as one of Thorin’s, and Fili guesses that it has some sort of Alpha meaning.

He’s not sure why the realisation that all three of them are naked makes his face burn and for a moment he thinks that perhaps his Heat hasn’t fully receded. But the warmth in his face is different, purely the flush of embarrassment. Although he can’t deny that when he looks at them he feels a stir of attraction that isn’t as demanding as the Heat, but is just as compelling.

He wants to touch and is already reaching a hand out to Kili when he stops himself. Instead he crawls as gently as he can to the end of the bed. He looks back at them just once before he crosses the room, relieved to find the clothes that he’d been wearing (he has no idea how long ago) folded on a chair.

He dresses quietly and leaves the room. The hallways beyond are empty and Fili reaches his own chambers unseen, strips off his clothing and heads for the steaming waters of his bath.

His hair is a tangled mess, and he washes it, combs it out and redoes his braids. The familiar activity is comfortable and a distraction from the sight of the bruises on his hips and arms. He had flushed again when he’d first noticed them but he hadn’t been able to resist tracing the outline of fingermarks on his thigh, and he wonders which one of them held him so tightly there.

When he trims his beard he grimaces at the sight of more bruises – the Alpha marks on his throat. He knows that some Omegas, particularly the bonded ones, display them proudly, and yet others, more shy like Ori, wear high-necked tunics or scarves after a Heat.

It is at this point that the detachment that Fili has been cultivating deserts him. Impressions flood his mind, sharp flashes of memory popping up out of an indistinct blur of sensations and feelings. Kili holding him, Thorin’s kisses, a tangle of limbs on the bed. His insatiable desire for fulfilment, his desire for _them_. Now that he has experienced it he wonders how he could ever have thought to get through the Heat alone. He had _needed_ too much, needed _them_ too much, and even though his change is now complete and he is fully an Omega, there is still a part of him that is bewildered by it… and mortified by just how overwhelming the Heat had been.

They’d had to look after him, they’d had to make sure that he’d had sustenance as well as fulfilment, he’s fairly certain that at least one of them had bathed him. He knows that in a bonded Heat he would not have lost himself so completely, he would have stayed even more aware than he’d been at the beginning of _this_ Heat, and if he remains unbonded this is what his Heats will always be like… a blur. Is that what unbonded Omegas prefer, he wonders? Just to lose themselves in the moment and allow the Alphas to take complete control. How odd it was that he’d once thought that the Omegas were a slave to their need to service their Alphas during the Heat, when now he feels like it might be the other way around.

Or, perhaps mutual, he thinks, for underneath the blur he can recall the sense of _their_ need for him, their urge to mate and to knot and to tie him to them and the moment.

He trails a finger along the mark that Kili had given him, pressing lightly into the tenderness of it. Kili had been right - Fili _has_ always valued his privacy, but he knows that he won’t hide these marks. Confusion and chagrin are still a sickening lump in his stomach but he can’t hide away what has happened. It has never been in his nature to do so.

There are still thoughts and feelings to be resolved, and how or what he will feel when he faces Thorin and Kili again is one of them, but he _is_ an Omega now and he’s not going to encourage the pity of those Betas that feel it by acting as if they _should_ feel it.

But even so, Fili thinks with a snort of wry humour as he eyes the marks one last time, there a lot of things about being an Omega that do seem to be designed to cause embarrassment. Including the loud rumble of hunger in his stomach and the fact that he doesn’t know what day it is.

The dining hall is empty of both dwarves (for which he is thankful) and of food (for which he is not), so Fili steels himself and heads for the Central Market. By the light-well shafts he can tell that it must be just starting dawn outside, which means that the bakers will be up and baking. They look at him curiously as he buys a few warm buns, fresh from the oven and sticky with glaze, and Fili pretends not to notice it, giving them his usual smile.

″Hey there, Fili, lad.″

The voice behind him makes Fili’s smile broaden and he turns to see Bofur and Bifur, dressed for travel and holding saddlebags. He eyes them thoughtfully as he offers them some of his buns.

″Going somewhere?″

Bofur grins and nods, whilst Bifur neatly tears his bun into little bits and begins to delicately eat each piece one by one. The axe is gone from his head, and he can speak the common tongue again, but he’s still a little odd, and Fili suspects that he probably always was.

″Aye, lad. We’re headin’ for the Iron Hills with a wagon of toys an’ musical instruments. Do you want us to give a message to your Ma for you?″

″I’ll write to her soon,″ Fili says, and then adds quietly and dryly, ″once I figure out what day it is.″

Bofur chuckles, and once he has told Fili the day, Fili realises that his Heat has lasted for almost four days. It’s disconcerting, to say the least, to have a period of days lost into an indistinct blur, but he supposes that it’s just another part of being an unbonded Omega that he’s going to have to get used to.

″We’d best be off then,″ Bofur says, waving his bun at Fili. ″See you in a couple of weeks.″

Fili watches them for a moment and then draws up his hood against the early morning chill still in the air, and wanders around the almost empty market. Soon it will begin to fill but Fili won’t leave, not yet. One thing that he does have a reasonably clear memory of is the way that he’d been able to sense more about Thorin and Kili than he’d ever been able to before and he’s curious to see if it will still be there when he sees another Alpha, whether bonded or unbonded.

Of course, he’s honest enough to admit that he’s also delaying the moment when he sees Thorin and Kili again. So much has happened to be confused about. His anger over the fact that they hadn’t told him has faded, but it still lingers, and there is also still the fact that they want to bond with him. Not to mention Kili’s reasons for having children… he still doesn’t really know how he feels about that. And then there is the fact he has mated with them now. He knows the pleasure they can give him, and the pleasure he can give them, as well as the strength of his own attraction to them. It sings through his body even now, just at the thought of them.

Yet underneath all that there is still yet something else and it has perhaps been the foundation on which all of his feelings about being an Omega has been built… and Bofur’s mention of his mother has brought it to the forefront of Fili’s mind. Dis had certainly never derided the Omegas but Kili had been right when he’d said that she had been judgemental of them, and now that Fili is one himself he can’t help wondering why.

Because, intrinsically, he feels that he is the same dwarf. Yes, he now has an enhanced awareness of and attraction to Alphas, and the Heat is certainly something he will have to deal with, but otherwise, nothing much is different. It’s as if it had always been there within him, waiting, but still a part of who he was. Perhaps they are wrong to call it the final _change_ , he thinks, because now it feels like it is more of a… development.

The truth is, he realises, that because of that foundation he’d had, he’d never really spent any time with or even taken the time to really notice the Omegas (other than Ori of course), and it might have made the whole situation, and his first Heat, easier to understand if he had.

He has a strong feeling that getting to know some of them now might make dealing with the future a lot easier as well.

He’s still deep in thought when he passes the entrance to the Halls of the Unbonded and he glances down the passage curiously. If he hadn’t had Thorin and Kili, he would probably have ended up down there, and with a sinking feeling, he wonders what will happen for his next Heat. He knows that Thorin and Kili want to bond with him, but should he really go to them again when he’s not sure that he will ever want to bond? He knows what their answer will be, particularly Kili’s, but somehow he’s not sure that it’s fair on any of them. The problem is that he’s _also_ not sure if he will want to mate with other Alphas.

It’s the infuriating thing about the Heat, the fact that it will happen whether he likes it or not, and that he will inevitably lose himself in it, and Fili can’t stop the swell of resentment that rises in him. Because it’s not _fair,_ and after what he had experienced in the early part of his Heat he suspects that being an Omega could be rather enjoyable… if it wasn’t for this one dilemma.

He’s still seething over that when he realises that there are two unbonded Alphas further down the passage, coming towards him. He steps behind a wide square column and draws his hood closer around his face. They’ll know that there is an Omega close by but they won’t be able to tell who it is and he wants to keep it that way.

His awareness of them is not quite the same as it had been when he had been nearing his Heat. He doesn’t feel the same pull of needing to be near them, and whilst he can sense their attraction in a general way, to his relief it does not bloom into desire. And as they get closer, he can even actually sense that there is one who he would not want to mate with. Also a relief, because it means that unbonded Omegas have more control over who they are attracted to than he’d expected, and that this is why the Unbonded Halls guards will only allow Alphas that an Omega has specified near them when they are in Heat.

″There are rumours that he didn’t bond with them.″

Fili rolls his eyes at the sound of the Alpha’s voice for it is obvious that they are speaking of him.

″Aye, I’ve heard it’s true,″ the other Alpha replies, sounding amused. ″Maybe I’ll get a chance yet to hammer his pretty arse. I was going to return to Ered Luin but I think I’ll wait to see what happens at his next Heat. I’m a patient dwarf and I’ll take this prize from the Durins, if I can. I’m sure they’ll do anything they can to hold on to him for imagine the political advantage that the Alphas who bond with him would gain.″

White hot rage descends on Fili and he already has a knife in his hand before it clears enough for him to think better of cold-blooded murder. This is exactly what he had feared, the Alphas talking about him as if he was a… _a_ _prize_ … to be won.

″That’s an advantage you’ll _never_ gain,″ he hisses through clenched teeth, but the Alphas are already out of hearing range, and Fili does not follow them.

A sudden longing to get out of the market, to get out of Erebor itself, sweeps over him and he strides quickly to the Entrance Hall and up to the Main Gate. He gives the sentries a quick, tight nod of acknowledgement and strides out onto the mountain. On the road to Dale he can see a wagon in the distance and he guesses that it’s Bofur and Bifur and in that moment he yearns to be with them.

And why shouldn’t he, he thinks a moment later. The Iron Hills are not that far, and he has never yet been there. He’s curious to see another dwarf settlement and he would be back within a couple of weeks. Aside from that, he could see his mother and talk to her. He has questions for her, questions that would be difficult to put in a letter, and it might be easier to understand her answers face-to face.

On the simple life of the road he would not be the _Heir_ , or the _Durin Omega_ , or the _prize_. He would have time and space to think without the distractions of Thorin and Kili and their expectations.

Yes, Fili decides, he has many good reasons to make the journey, even if it might seem a bit rushed and spur-of-the-moment... and, just this once, why can’t he be the impulsive one? Why can’t he be as reckless as Kili?

He almost runs back to his quarters and once there he quickly changes into travelling clothes and then packs a saddle bag. Food supplies, he decides, he can buy in Dale, before he catches up with Bofur and Bifur.

Then he opens his weapons chest. It is brimming with an assortment of swords, axes and knives and Fili can’t help smiling as he sees them, for every one of them has been made by Kili. Fili likes to wield a lot of weapons but only he knows that one of the reasons he does so is because Kili keeps making them for him.

He selects a few more knives, belts on his favourite sword and then he glances at the desk. There is a sense of urgency now, he wants to be gone before there is a chance of running into Thorin or Kili, and that could be any moment. And he can’t tell them where he is going because he’s fairly certain that Kili will be on his trail all the way if he does, but at the same time he can’t let them think he’s gone off into the wilderness alone.

He sits at the desk and dips his quill in the ink pot.

 

> _Thorin and Kili,_ (he writes quickly)
> 
> _I need to go away for a time. There are some things I have to do, some things that I need to think about, and I can’t do that here._
> 
> _I am travelling with some good friends and I’m safe. In a few days I will send you a raven,_
> 
> _Fili_

 

It will have to do, Fili decides, as he folds and seals the parchment. With luck they won’t get it until mid-morning and by then he should be well past Dale... and he’ll make certain that no one in Dale sees him take the Iron Hills road.

Fili draws up his hood, picks up his saddlebags and heads for the stables.

 


	10. Chapter 10

″I don’t know that this is such a good idea, Fili,″ Bofur says.

It is the second time he’s said it since Fili caught up to them after leaving Dale and Fili rolls his eyes.

″I told you, I left a note for Thorin,″ he repeats patiently.

″But did you tell ‘im where you was goin’?″

It’s Bifur who asks and Fili blinks in surprise for Bifur doesn’t often ask questions.

″Not exactly,″ Fili says. ″But I said I’d let them know by raven.″

Bofur immediately looks up into the sky and Fili rolls his eyes again.

″Eventually,″ he says. ″I will let them know by raven, eventually.″

″It’s not that we don’t want your company, lad,″ Bofur says. ″It’s just that I’d like to be stayin’ out of any dungeons.″

″Don’t be ridiculous,″ Fili snaps. ″As if Thorin would put you in a dungeon. And it’s got nothing to do with you anyway.″

″It wasn’t the Erebor dungeons I was thinkin’ of,″ Bofur mutters.

Fili ignores him, particularly as he isn’t making much sense anyway. Besides, he’s distracted by the discovery that riding a pony just after finishing his Heat is maybe not the wisest of ideas. He grimaces as he shifts in the saddle and then finally dismounts. The wagon is going slowly enough for him to keep up by walking anyway and it’s a beautiful morning. Fine and clear with a soft, refreshing breeze that carries the scent of pine, and Fili’s spirits rise quickly.

His good mood lasts into the evening but once he’s lying by the fire that night, struggling to sleep, he has to finally acknowledge that he’s missing Kili. He’s never travelled without his brother before but it’s not just Kili’s jokes and good temper that he’s thinking about. If Kili were here he’d be in his bedroll beside Fili and the thought of Kili so close has flashes of memory disturbing his thoughts. Images of Kili’s eyes darkening with desire, of the caress of his lips on Fili’s skin, the feeling of him _inside_ Fili.

Fili hadn’t expected this. Perhaps it was naive of him, but he’d thought that once the Heat was over those particular feelings would die down, laying dormant until his next Heat. Yes, he’d acknowledged his attraction to Thorin and Kili but somehow he hadn’t expected to still _want_ them so much.

Instead it’s like a wall has come down inside him letting all of these new desires and needs flow through. He’s hard in his trousers and he wants to touch, but Bifur is sitting by the fire on first-watch, and Fili tries vainly to ignore the state of his shaft and push himself into sleep.

Eventually he gives up and gets up to sit on the log beside Bifur.

″I’ll take second-watch,″ he says. ″No need to wake Bofur when I can’t sleep anyway.″

Bifur lets out a little huff of acknowledgement and continues to draw on the parchment he’s working on. Fili leans over for a closer look but the lines on the page are a mystery to him.

″What are you working on?″

Bifur looks up and smiles. ″Design for a new toy,″ he says. ″I wanted to make somethin’ for wee Ferin.″

″Oh,″ Fili returns the smile, ″and who’s wee Ferin?″

Bifur gives him a very strange look. ″Wee Ferin would be your Heir, lad,″ he says. ″Kili’s son.″

Fili can feel the blood draining from his face and is rather thankful when Bifur tactfully looks away, returning to work on his design. He cannot believe that he has forgotten the name of one of his own bloodline, and he is also horrified when he finds that he can’t remember the name of the girl either. In fact, he’s not entirely sure he ever even knew it.

These are _Kili’s_ dwarflings, a part of Kili as Kili is a part of him. Whatever he feels about Kili’s motivations for having them, he knows how much Kili loves them and that he goes to the Halls of Rearing for a time every day to be with them. Fili hasn’t seen them since just after they were born, which granted is only a few weeks, but still. He has a feeling Kili would have liked Fili to join him sometimes.

It still rankles that Kili had made the decision he had, as if his brother had been acting secretly behind his back, which he supposes _is_ exactly what Kili had done. But now, knowing that he himself will never have dwarflings, that fatherhood is something he will never know, he could never deny Kili the same chance. Not when he so obviously loves being a father, and has given up the opportunity to be with them in the Halls of Rearing.

Fili sighs, and realises with a start that Bifur is gone, now rolled up in his bedroll, snoring softly. He’s not doing a very good job of being on watch, he thinks, and pulls out his pipe, fills it, and lights it.

He draws in the soothing, sharp smoke, letting it settle his mind. He had never thought about having dwarflings himself and he wonders if he would have if he’d been an Alpha or a Beta. He might not have, many dwarves don’t, this he knows, and Fili has always become easily engrossed in the design and creation of his Craft. When he is working on a new piece it is always the first thing he thinks of on waking and the last thing he thinks of at night, and many times has Balin had to remind him of council meetings. So, perhaps he would not have chosen fatherhood… if he’d been given the choice… and he supposes that he is going to have to live with the fact that his _choices_ have been few.

After all, he hadn’t _chosen_ to be the Heir, either. Just as Thorin hadn’t.

The next day is another fine one and Fili slowly becomes comfortable with riding again. His mood, however, is not comfortable, and he realises after a while that he’s probably not the best travelling companion.

He can’t stop thinking about the Heat. He tries to grasp at flashes of memory for the idea that he cannot recall everything that happened is disturbing. It is an echo of what had happened before the Heat, of knowledge withheld from him, and Fili grows more morose as the details continue to evade him, even as the moments he _can_ envision also arouse him.

He takes first-watch for he knows that sleep won’t come easily, not when he is this confusing mess of frustration, arousal and resentment.

″Lad, why did you come with us?″

Fili starts and almost falls off the log, and he blushes and mutters at the amused glint in Bofur’s eyes... and really it is a very good thing that the Iron Hills road is a fairly safe one, he thinks, for his watch skills are deteriorating badly.

″You don’t have to tell me, of course,″ Bofur says, as he rolls out of his blankets. ″But I thought you might have got to the point where it would help to talk.″

And maybe he has, Fili thinks, because stewing over it silently doesn’t seem to have been helping all that much. Although it’s not easy to decide what to say.

″I wanted to see mother,″ he finally says. ″There’s some things I want to talk to her about and I haven’t seen her for quite some time. Not since she went to the Iron Hills and that was three years ago.″

Bofur nods. ″And you don’t think your brother might have wanted to come along?″

″I rather wanted to have some time away from Kili,″ Fili says, and even he can hear the tightness in his voice. ″And Thorin.″

″Been a bit high-handed, have they?″ Bofur asks, and when Fili gives him a sharp look Bofur actually winks. ″I have heard that Alphas can be like that sometimes.″

″It’s a good thing I like you, Bofur,″ Fili responds, dryly. ″Or I’d be throwing rocks at your head right now.″

But the easy humour in Bofur’s voice, and the joke at the Alphas expense, seems to have eased some of the turmoil in Fili’s mind and he offers Bofur a tentative smile.

″Have you also heard,″ he asks, ″that Alphas can sense an Omega in their bloodline?″

″Aye, I have,″ Bofur responds. ″Although these days they like to keep that very quiet.″

″For good reason,″ says Fili. ″Considering that they’ve chosen to keep it from the Omegas themselves. Apparently we are too fragile to know of it until we are near our first Heat.″

″I see,″ Bofur says, eyeing him thoughtfully. ″And you don’t think they might have a point? I mean, would you really have wanted to know for a long time beforehand?″

Fili sighs for this is a question for which he still can’t find the answer. ″I don’t know. Look, I understand that they think they are protecting us, but surely we have the right to choose whether we know or not. They could offer us that choice.″

″Well, it seems to me that they don’t get that choice themselves,″ Bofur says. ″I suspect that quite a lot of them would prefer not to be able to sense it at all.″

Fili shrugs. ″They still have the choice of whether to tell or not.″

Bofur rifles through one of his saddlebags and pulls out his pipe and a tin of pipe-weed. When he waves the tin in Fili’s direction, Fili shakes his head. He’s not in the mood for smoking.

″Well. Maybe I can tell you a tale that might help a bit,″ Bofur says, settling himself on the log beside Fili and filling his pipe. ″Not many know the full story but I’ve a mind to be thinkin’ that maybe they should. The only reason I know it in the whole is because it concerns a couple of cousins of Balin and Dwalin, and one night on the quest Balin and I were on watch together and we fell to talkin’ on the serious side.″

″So, these two dwarves were cousins to Balin and Dwalin, as I said,″ Bofur continues. ″But of their Ma’s blood so not of the Durin line, you understand. The older brother, he was many years older than the lass, and she was born only a few years after Thorin, back before the fall of Erebor to the Worm. Thorin wasn’t raised in the Halls of Rearin’ the way you were, so he only got to know these two because of Balin and Dwalin, but he and the girl, Daylin, her name was, they got to bein’ good friends.″

″Now, once the brother reached the final change, he became an Alpha, and when Daylin came of age he told her that he could sense she would become an Omega. She’d always been a shy one apparently and after that she became even quieter. A short time later, Smaug arrived, and the brother, he didn’t make it out of Erebor. Daylin did though and she was one of those who followed Thorin to Ered Luin after the end of the Orc War."

″The next few years were hard on everyone, but eventually Ered Luin began to become more like the way you knew it. Daylin studied the Mechanical Crafts and she became a Master of Locks. Now, you won’t remember this, because Thorin had them all changed to wood by the time you were born, but back then all the doors in Ered Luin were thick rough stone, and when Daylin went into her first Heat, she put a keyless lock on her door and shut herself in.″

″It was a day before anyone realised she was missing and yet another before the engineers got that door open. Thorin was one of the first Alphas to get into the room but it was already too late.″

″Oh, she weren’t dead,″ Bofur assures him, because Fili’s gasp had been loud in the stillness of the night. ″It was worse. There _have_ been unbonded Omegas who have survived an unsatisfied Heat, although they’re often a bit queer afterwards. But Daylin wasn’t just a bit queer, lad, she was a shell, as if the Heat had burnt out everythin’ that was in her. There was nothin’ they could do. None of the Alphas, not even Thorin, had a strong enough voice to call her back to herself.″

″She didn’t last too long, poor maid,″ Bofur continues. ″A few weeks later she returned to the stone. Now, maybe it was dwellin’ on the idea of being an Omega for so long, or maybe it was losin’ her family at Erebor and then the struggle at Ered Luin, or maybe she’d always been unstable, who knows, but, for better or worse, Thorin and the other Alphas persuaded the council that no Omega should be told so early, and that if they _were_ to be told it would be when they were approachin’ their first Heat.″

Fili is speechless, staring at Bofur with a look that he knows is full of horror.

″Yeah, lad, it’s an awful story,″ Bofur says quietly, refilling his pipe. ″And I’m sorry to tell it. I didn’t do it to give you nightmares… I just thought it might help you to understand why Thorin did what he did.″

And, of course, Bofur doesn’t know, Fili thinks, about his own attempt to get through the Heat alone, but he can remember the shock and concern in Thorin’s eyes and voice when Fili had gone to him, and he has a terrible feeling that Thorin must have guessed what he’d tried to do.

The whole thing is a disaster, Fili decides. From the fact that he had known so little about what was happening to him that he’d taken such an awful risk, to the fact that he’d probably inflicted the pain of memory on Thorin without knowing it, and that _they_ had caused pain and anger to him by not being open with him.

″Fucking Mahal,″ Fili finally says, and he doesn’t often curse but this seems an appropriate time for it. ″It’s about time some of the learning programs in the Halls of Training were thoroughly revamped. And made mandatory.″

Bofur puffs thoughtfully on his pipe. ″I have to say I agree with you lad,″ he says. ″Good thing you’re in a position to do somethin’ about it, ain’t it?"

The story stays in his mind long after Bofur has finished his pipe and gone back to his bedroll. He can’t stop thinking about how Thorin must have felt when he’d seen the state that Fili had been in when he’d first gone to him, and it makes his heart ache. He still feels that there are probably better ways for handling the whole process of the final maturing, but now he does have an understanding of why Thorin and Kili had acted as they had.

Bofur’s right though, Fili thinks, he _is_ in a position to encourage some changes. The fact that he’d managed to get through all of his years of training without learning anything much about Omegas is rather disturbing… and if that lack is the same for everyone then it’s no wonder that some Betas have the opinions about Omegas that they have. And in all honesty he hadn’t learnt much about Alphas or Betas either.

He knows that there has always been a tradition of privacy around these matters, with most dwarves relying on their families for their initial education, but Daylin’s story, and his own, are indications that it’s a tradition that isn’t really a good one.

When Bifur relieves Fili for second-watch, Fili goes to his bed roll, certain that he won’t sleep. But exhaustion must catch up with him for he falls into a doze quickly and before he knows it he wakes to the smell of bacon cooking on the fire.

There is some drizzle during the morning but it clears just after their noon-day meal and it’s not long after they’re back on the road again that Fili spots a raven circling above. He recognises it immediately for it is one in Thorin’s favour, Caroc, son of Roäc.

″Best call it down, lad,″ Bofur advises him, squinting up at the sky. ″He’s seen what road you’ve taken but it would be better if Thorin gets the news from you.″

Fili quells the sudden inexplicable nerves in his stomach and raises his hand, holding it steady as the raven alights.

″Do you have a message for me?″ he asks quietly.

″No message,″ the bird replies. ″We were sent to watch all roads and now I return. Can I be of service to you?″

Fili nods. ″Tell the King I travel to the Iron Hills to visit with my mother. I planned to stay a few days and then return.″

The raven takes flight and Fili watches it become a speck in the distance until it disappears completely. He’s not sure why he now has such anxiety but the fact that the bird had not carried a message is disturbing for some reason. Even if Thorin had been annoyed surely _Kili_ would have-

″I’m sure that all is well,″ Bofur says, breaking into Fili’s thoughts.

″I _hate_ that saying,″ Fili murmurs, but he manages to smile when Bofur laughs.

 


	11. Chapter 11

The rain returns by mid-afternoon making the landscape around them grey and dim in a way that thoroughly matches Fili's mood.

The raven's lack of news has made him start to wonder about what exactly might be happening back at Erebor. Or, if he's completely honest it's more that he's wondering about Thorin and Kili, because he can no longer ignore that he misses them, and it makes his chest _ache_.

Thorin's deep blue eyes, Kili's sparkling smile… these are sights that he envisions and he wants to see again. The thought of not doing so is painful. Yes, they had hurt him and angered him but he can see that it had not been their intent to do so. They had tried to protect him, misguided perhaps, yes, probably high-handed, but underneath all that, he knows that they… they love him.

For some reason it hits him like a bolt of lightening and he actually has to stop himself from looking up at the clouds above.

They _love_ him.

They had wanted to bond with him and somehow in his haze of confusion, resentment and the approaching Heat, he hadn't really fully comprehended what that meant. He'd seen it as a way for them to _possess_ him, to hold him and keep him for their own pleasure, and to stop him from mating or bonding with anyone other than them. But after what he had sensed about them during the Heat, now he thinks that it was much more about a kind of _sharing_.

It's not that he regrets deciding to take this journey, because he doesn't. Whatever happens in the future he's needed this time and he does still have questions for his mother. But, for the first time, he finds himself imagining what it must have been like for them to wake up and find him gone, not only from the bed, but from Erebor itself. And it is very clear now, when he lacks a message himself, just how vague his own had been.

Just as they had hurt him, he knows that he has now hurt them. And perhaps just a tad intentionally as well, for resentment _had_ influenced his quill. Especially given that, in terms of his being the Heir, not telling them where he was going and who he was with had not been the wisest move.

So, all in all, Fili decides wryly, not the best moment to discover that he hates the thought of losing their love.

It is a relief when they decide to make camp early and they do so in a sheltered grove of trees just off the road. It is Fili's turn to cook and that is a relief as well, he thinks, as he roughly chops carrots for a stew, for he needs the distraction. Both from the thoughts in his head and the ache in his heart.

It is after dinner, when they’ve all filled their pipes and are puffing peacefully away, that Fili notices Bofur give Bifur a sharp nod. They both stand and, after dragging a log closer to where Fili is slumped against a rock, they take a seat and look at him gravely.

″Right, lad,″ Bofur says. ″It’s time we had a serious talk.″

Fili raises an eyebrow. ″I thought we’d already done that,″ he says, warily.

″This is a bit different,″ Bofur says. ″We were wonderin' what exactly you were plannin' to do when we get to the Iron Hills.″

″I told you, I was going to see mother,″ Fili says. ″And I suppose after that it would only be polite to pay Dain a visit as well.″

″Yeah, well, that's the thing see, lad,″ Bofur says. ″We've been thinkin' that maybe it wouldn't be such a good idea to just go walkin' on in.″

Fili narrows his eyes. ″And what else would I be doing?″

″Hidin' in the wagon under a sack would be my preference,″ Bofur replies with an ingratiating grin.

″Would it,″ Fili says flatly, but there's a sinking sensation in his stomach and that, along with the look in Bifur's eyes, gives him the feeling that Bofur and Bifur have thought of something that _he_ should have thought of himself.

″Ah, lad, if you were just any unbonded Omega, it wouldn't matter,″ Bofur says, his voice full of sympathy. ″But you're not. You're also the Heir, and I have a feeling that maybe we should take some precautions, just to be on the safe side. At least until we get to your Ma's. Or, we _could_ go back.″

″Bofur, are you suggesting that there are dwarves at the Iron Hills who would do me harm? They wouldn't dare pay the price that Erebor would exact on them if they tried.″

″No, no,″ Bofur says quickly. ″It's just that there are many Alphas that would jump at the chance to make such an alliance and those at the Iron Hills might see this as their only chance.″

″Well, they would jump in vain,″ Fili says. ″I have no intention of bonding with any of them and they can't _force_ me to. I'll be gone in a few days anyway.″

″They could make leavin' difficult, lad,″ Bofur says. ″I'm not sayin' that they'd chain you up or anythin' but they'd have a darn good try at delayin' you until your next Heat comes on. So, maybe it's better if they don't know you're there, at least until we get to your Ma's.″

And damn it, Fili thinks, Bofur is right, and he really _should_ have thought of all this himself, particularly after the conversation he'd overhead between the Alphas at Erebor. But it is thoroughly infuriating to find himself once more reduced to being the _prize,_ and he can't contain his frustration.

″Oh, bugger it,″ he snarls, throwing his pipe across the clearing. ″Is there no _blasted_ end to this Omega _curse_.″

Bofur has the tact to remain silent and Bifur simply gets to his feet, trots across the grove and retrieves Fili's pipe. Once seated again, he cleans it, checks it for damage and then packs it neatly with pipe-weed before calmly handing it to Fili.

″Thanks,″ Fili mutters, offering Bifur a tight smile.

″Lad, it might not be a problem,″ Bofur says quietly. ″We just felt that maybe we should be cautious, if you do really intend on goin' there.″

And it might be foolish of him but Fili is not going to be scared off, even if it means sneaking into the Iron Hills in the back of a wagon. He's been in worse places. Barrels spring to mind.

″You're right, of course,″ he says, finally. ″There's no harm in being careful.″

It's late in the morning of the following day that the landscape begins to change as they enter the foothills of the Iron Hills range. The road narrows with slight banks on either side and after the mid-day meal Fili climbs into the back of the wagon, and his pony is hitched to the front alongside the draught-pony.

It turns out that when one is buried under a sack in the back of a jolting wagon there's not much to do besides think. At least on the pony he had the landscape to look at, Fili tells himself ruefully, as well as Bofur and Bifur to talk to.

But now he tries to find a comfortable position amongst the bags and crates that surround him whilst his mind dwells on thoughts of Thorin and Kili. He wonders what they might be doing; Thorin might be at a council meeting, Kili could be in the Halls of Rearing, and if Fili were there, he'd probably be with one of them.

He lets out a little sigh. Of course, if he _were_ there, they might be doing other-

He breaks off the thought abruptly. Hidden under a sack in a wagon with Bofur and Bifur so close is not the time to be having thoughts like those, he decides. Even if it would be a pleasant distraction from the ache in his heart… and he's beginning to know exactly what that ache means. And he's not ready to think about _that_ yet either.

In the end he falls into an uneasy doze, which is only broken at the loud clatter as the wagon passes onto stonework followed by the dimming of the light around him. His guess that they have just passed through the Great Iron Gate (which he would have actually liked to have _seen_ ) is proved correct when the wagon rolls to a gentle stop and Bofur quickly lets down the side.

″Right, lad,″ Bofur whispers. ″Hop out. Keep your head down and your hood up and follow me. I know the quiet halls.″

Fili drops down on silent feet and trails after Bofur into a dim narrow passage. Of course, keeping his face concealed means that he doesn’t actually get to see much of his surroundings but he can tell that the Iron Hills settlement is no where near as large or as magnificent as Erebor. But, he thinks, that is only right, for after all, Erebor is the last great dwarf kingdom and it is the seat of not just a clan chief but the King of all dwarves. It’s rather daunting to think that one day he will sit on that throne. After all, he thinks with a wry snort, three days ago he hadn’t even been able to sit on his pony.

Eventually they stop in front of one of many doors in a well-lit corridor and Bofur knocks on it quickly. As soon as the door opens he’s pushing through, dragging Fili with him.

″What the… Bofur?″

Fili hears his mother’s voice and quickly pushes back his hood.

″Fili!″

His mother’s arms wrap around him in a firm embrace and Fili sighs with contentment. Then she pulls back and looks at him, her eyes shining. She hasn’t changed in the three years since she left Erebor, and her hair and beard are beautifully braided.

″What a surprise!″ she exclaims. ″But where is Kili?″

″I came without him,″ Fili replies. ″I wanted to see you.″

His mother pats her hands on his cheeks in the way she had done when he had been a small dwarfling and then she runs her hands through his hair. Fili flushes a little for he knows that she will have sensed his change.

″No bonding braids?″ She gives him a puzzled look.

Fili frowns at the question and shakes his head but his mother is no longer looking at him, instead she is gazing over his shoulder at Bofur.

″What is going on?″ she asks, and when her glance returns to Fili he can see the anxiety in her eyes. ″Why are you here alone? Thorin and Kili should never have allowed it. When I get my hands on them-″

″ _Allow it?_ ″ Fili snaps, and his mother's eyes widen with shock. ″They don't own me, mother. We aren't even bonded.″

″Oh Fili,″ his mother sighs. ″I'm sorry. It's just… well, this isn't Erebor, and I don't know that this visit was wise. Does Dain know that you are here?"

It's Bofur who answers her. ″No, milady,″ he says. ″No one saw us.″

″Ah, thank Mahal for that,″ Dis replies.

″Mother, I know that it was a risk,″ Fili says. ″That's why we were careful coming in, but I really don't think that Dain would keep me here against my will, or let anyone else do so.″

″No, he wouldn't,″ says another voice firmly, and Fili looks up to see that Gairin, his mother’s bond-mate is standing near the hearth, watching them.

″And that’s why my cousin mustn’t know that you’re here,″ Gairin continues. ″As your mother said, Fili, this is not Erebor, and Dain is a clan chief, not a King. The situation here is a little more volatile and Dain doesn't have the control over the nobles that a King would have. He's also more hot-headed. He'd fight every one of them to get you out of here if they tried to stop you and we'd have a clan war on our hands in no time."

″Besides, Thorin wouldn’t sit still either,″ Bofur says. ″He’d turn up here with an army at his back.″

Fili grimaces. This is not the welcome he'd expected but considering the discussion they'd had the previous night he supposes he should have.

And all in all, he hasn't exactly displayed any skill at strategy at all, Omega or not. He _should_ have thought of all this before he'd ever left Erebor but instead he'd let his own personal situation and needs dictate his actions even after he'd been warned.

He _should_ have known better.

″The one time I decide to be as impulsive as Kili and it's a complete mess,″ he eventually says, in a wry voice. ″Now I understand why he so often got into trouble.″

Bofur lets out a little puff of amusement and his mother gives him a rueful smile.

″Very well, then,″ Fili continues. ″I'll remain hidden here until Bofur and Bifur are ready to leave and then I'll sneak out again. No one will know that I was ever here. As far as anyone saw, two dwarves arrived with a wagon, and two dwarves will leave with a wagon.″ He looks at Bofur. ″You should do whatever you were going to do as normal.″

″Right 'o,″ Bofur nods. ″It will take us a couple of days to finish our business then we'll be ready to go. I'd best get back to Bifur. I'll come back later with your gear. Three slow knocks, then free fast knocks, right.″

Bofur winks at Fili and then he is gone. Dis closes the door behind him and locks it.

″Come on,″ she says, holding out a hand to Fili. ″I’ll show you to your room.″

″I'll start cooking,″ Gairin says, and he smiles and grasps Fili's shoulder. ″I didn't get a chance to tell you that it's good to see you.″

Fili returns the greeting and then follows his mother to a hallway opening off the main room, and then on through another door. The room is furnished simply with a large bed and a chest of drawers. There’s a table and stool in the corner and colourful silk hangings on the walls.

Fili sits on the bed and looks ruefully at his mother. Now that she's here in front of him, his palms are damp from nervous tension, his heart is thudding in his chest, and he has little idea how to start the conversation that he wants to have with her.

″I feel a bit of an idiot,″ he admits. ″I really didn't even think that there might be trouble until Bofur and Bifur mentioned it. Thank Mahal I travelled with them really.″ He sighs. ″I haven't been too clear-headed lately.″

Dis smiles and sits beside him on the bed. ″The change is always a difficult time,″ she says. ″None of us think too clearly when it happens.″

She has given him his opening and Fili is quick to take it.

″Particularly when the result is somewhat of a surprise,″ he says, dryly, and then he glances at his mother. ″Although perhaps it wasn't such a surprise to you?″

″Is this why you came, Fili?″ his mother asks gently.

″Your letter seemed to imply that you knew,″ Fili replies. His throat feels tight, both with tension over what he might now hear and also a little resentment for it still rankles that his entire family had known of it before he had.

His mother is silent for a moment and then she pats his hand.

″Thorin never told me,″ she says, ″and we’ve never spoken of it since I did find out so I imagine that he never knew that _I_ knew. It was Kili who told me. About a year ago, not long after his change, I got a letter from him.″

Fili lets out a little sigh. She has inadvertently answered a question that he was not sure he would have been able to ask, for a small, secret part of him had been wondering if _he_ was the reason that she had left Erebor. But when she had left she hadn’t known about him and the relief he feels tells him just how much he’d been pushing his anxiety about her aside.

″It was an odd letter, Fili,″ his mother continues. ″He seemed to think that I needed to be _warned,_ but the warning wasn’t for _my_ sake, it was for _yours_. When I wrote to him to ask what he meant by it I got an even longer reply from him. It was a letter that made me think, Fili, and after I had thought on it, I realised that I owed you an apology.″

Fili gives her a questioning look.

″It was many years ago that we talked when you left the Halls of Rearing,″ she says, gripping his hand in hers. ″And since then many things have changed. I had some… judgements… some misconceptions… and I had not realised that, as much as I tried not to, I had passed some of those on to you in that conversation. And from what Kili wrote I had showed it in other ways also, to both of you. Believe me, Fili, I have _never_ thought ill of the Omegas, but I didn’t understand them and I realise now that it coloured my opinion of them. I’m sorry, not that you are an Omega, but that I, in some way, made the change more difficult for you.″

Fili’s heart hammers in his chest as he struggles to ask the question that has been there, buried deep, since the moment he found out he would be an Omega.

″So, you… you don’t think less of me?″

Suddenly his mother’s arms are around him in a tight embrace and he allows himself to bury his face in her sweet-smelling hair, the way he had as a dwarfling.

″Fili, no,″ she gasps against his ear. ″You are my bright, golden son. I love you _so_ much.″

A few moments pass as they hold each other and Fili’s heart finally settles. When he pulls away and looks at his mother her cheeks are moist, and if his own eyes are a bit more moist than normal he’s happy to let her see it.

″Over the years my ideas about the Omegas have changed, Fili,″ Dis says, smoothing down his hair. ″Ori’s mother was such a dear friend to me and, you know, Gairin’s sister is an Unbonded Omega. We’ve become very close and I understand so much more now.″

″You seemed surprised that I was unbonded though,″ Fili says.

His mother looks amused. ″That’s only because I know how close you and Kili have always been,″ she says, and to Fili’s annoyance he flushes as she smiles at him. ″And I accepted a long time ago that I’d lost both my sons to Thorin.″

He knows that she is joking but at the same time they both know that there is a kernel of truth in the words and that Fili and Kili had always been drawn to Thorin.

″And if I wanted to stay unbonded?″

″That would be your choice,″ his mother promptly replies, ″and I would respect it. I wish I could make you forget some of the things that I must have said to give you these doubts, Fili. My only excuse is that growing up, I was the Princess of Erebor. I was very protected, very isolated. To be honest, I didn’t really know very much about how normal dwarves lived until we left Erebor. That is one of the reasons why your father and I, and later Thorin as well, wanted you and Kili to have a different kind of upbringing. If my grandfather had still been alive we would never have gone to the Halls of Rearing, you know. We would have all stayed in the Halls of Royalty… and when you did live there later, Thorin gave you much more freedom than _we’d_ ever had.″

″And yet,″ Fili says, ″I was still almost as sheltered in my knowledge as you were, and I have a feeling that on the whole, most dwarves don't really understand enough about the final maturing as they approach it.″ He thinks of the story that Bofur had told him about Daylin and of his own attempt to get through the Heat without help. ″It's dangerous, that sort of ignorance.″

Dis nods thoughtfully. ″I suppose I didn't understand that,″ she says. ″Maturing into a Beta is a fairly simple process compared to Alphas and Omegas. The Alphas have to deal with the compulsion to knot and learn to control the power and strength they have. And the Omegas have to deal with the Heats. Yes, I agree with you, there _should_ be more guidance.″

There’s a knock at the door at that moment and Fili is relieved. It feels like talking with his mother has released a whole lot of stress and tension that he’d been holding onto without even really realising it and now that it’s gone he just seems to be exhausted.

Bofur and Bifur have returned with Fili’s saddlebags and the two dwarves stay for a delicious meal prepared by Gairin, a Master for many years in the Halls of Harvest of the Iron Hills.

He goes to bed early but despite his tiredness he doesn’t find sleep easily. The conversation with his mother has settled many of his doubts and fears and his heart seems lighter, and his head clearer, than it has been for days. And yet still the ache of missing Kili and Thorin is not eased and he still wonders how hurt or angered they had been by his sudden departure.

Not to mention that once Caroc had told them of Fili's destination they would probably have jumped to the same concerns that Bofur and Bifur had, and he can just imagine what they'll have to say to him about that upon his return to Erebor. The entire council will probably be up in arms over his reckless behaviour.

Well they can say what they like, Fili decides, he's still glad that he came. His talk with his mother had been an important one and he'd been right, actually _seeing_ her had made it a lot easier.

He lets out a sigh and stretches luxuriously in the wide bed. Sleeping in a bedroll on the ground hadn't exactly been easy on his bruises. They have begun to fade but when Fili slides a hand along his hip and presses softly he can still feel the tenderness of them and it makes him suck in a sharp breath of something that is not pain.

He remembers Kili gripping his hips as he prompted Fili to turn over, and bites his bottom lip to suppress the sudden need to moan at the images swimming into his mind. Images of that demanding authority that he had never seen in his brother's eyes before; of the heated desire in Thorin's gaze.

His shaft swells quickly and he presses one hand to it as the other traces over the fading marks on his throat. Suddenly it seems as if his body yearns for the weight of another, holding him down and opening him up.

He reaches down and brushes a finger over his entrance. It is tighter than it had been during his Heat and he gasps as he wonders what it would be like to experience that kind of possession now, when he is not consumed with the need for a knot, but purely for the pleasure for it.

He licks his dry lips, and then his palm, for he can no longer wait, and he strokes himself quickly, eager for completion as the images in his mind build.

He arches off the bed as his climax surges over him and then slumps in lethargic bliss, his panting breaths loud in the night stillness of the room.

A moment later those harsh breaths turn into harsh sobs.

He's not entirely sure why it's happening even as he strives to control it. Perhaps it's the reaction to the days before his Heat, full of expectation and tension when, under all of it, and he can admit it now, he had felt so _alone_.

Or maybe it's the reaction to the Heat itself, the relentless need, the reliance on Thorin and Kili, the daze and the blur of it, the sheer overwhelming physical pleasure of it… and then the need to escape after it.

Or possibly it's because, even though the Heat had been overwhelming, he had still somehow been opening himself up to them, just as they had been opening themselves up to him, and now he's pretty damn sure that somewhere in all of that, and amidst everything he's thought and learnt afterwards, he's fallen hard.

There has always been love between them and they are his blood. That cannot be lost or changed, Fili is certain of that. But there is another feeling there now as well, all mixed up with desire and want and love. And he knows what it means.

The sobs fade into heaviness and exhaustion but even so, Fili lights a candle and finds quill, ink and parchment on the table in the corner. When he’s satisfied with what he's written he returns to the bed and finally falls into a deep, peaceful, sleep.

In the morning he wakes early and joins his mother and Gairin in the main room for breakfast. After years of dining in the Halls of Royalty the small family meal is a pleasant novelty that Fili enjoys.

When his mother is leaving he retrieves the parchment he’d written on from his room and hands it to her.

″I was wondering if you could get these items for me?″

His mother looks at the list and then looks up at him, her eyes shining with emotion. Fili shrugs.

″I’ll be stuck here all day,″ he says. ″I thought I might as well keep busy.″

″Do you need some fine-work tools?″

Fili shakes his head. ″I brought some with me.″

His mother returns an hour later with everything he needs and Fili spreads it all out on the table in his room and starts to work. It’s almost dinner time when he finishes and the smell of good food is drifting into the room.

His mother and Gairin are by the fire talking quietly as Gairin stirs something in a pot. Fili is just about to join them when there is a loud knock on the door.

″That wasn’t Bofur’s knock,″ Dis whispers.

With one sharp glance she sends Fili back to his room and he stands by the closed door listening. There is another impatient knock, he hears the door open, and then quick heavy steps and a voice.

″Where is he? Is he here?″

It is Kili, and he sounds both frantic and furious.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Fili backs away from the door and then quickly has the presence of mind to throw his cloak over the table, including the items he’d just completed, before the door flies open with a crash and Kili walks in, kicking the door closed behind him.

Kili's boots and long leather coat are splashed with mud and he looks exhausted in a way that makes a twinge of guilt twist in Fili's heart.

″You _fucking_ idiot,″ Kili says in a voice of quiet, seething, anger.

Oddly enough (although perhaps not so oddly considering Fili’s an Omega and this is _Kili_ , Fili thinks wryly) but the sight of an Alpha with flashing eyes and chest heaving with indignation just makes Fili's mouth go dry and warmth start to bloom in his stomach. He tells himself that it's a most inappropriate reaction to have at such a moment but still, he can't stop a small smile growing as he watches Kili pacing the floor… because Kili looks so _good_ and Fili has _missed_ him.

″Are you even listening to me?″ Kili growls, and Fili realises, with a start, that Kili has been talking whilst Fili has been standing there gazing at him in a daze. He resists the urge to roll his eyes at himself over his flash of ill-timed arousal, and holds out a placating hand towards his brother.

″Look, I _know_ , I’m _sorry_ ,″ he says.

Kili stares at him for a second and then makes a strangled sound of frustration, and suddenly he's stalking forward and crowding Fili against the wall. Fili has just a moment to suck in a little gasp of anticipation and then Kili's lips are on his, hungry and insistent, and Fili kisses him back, putting all of the moments that he's missed Kili in the last few days into his response.

″You _left_ ,″ Kili mumbles against Fili’s lips. There is a crack in his voice that reveals a wealth of pain and loss and the sound of it makes Fili's eyes burn.

Fili gentles the kiss and then draws back, meeting Kili's darkened eyes. There is lingering hurt there as well as passion and, as he always has with Kili, Fili wants nothing more than to ease that pain.

″I’m sorry,″ he whispers. ″I was coming back. I’ll _always_ come back to you.″

He’s pretty sure Kili has heard the promise in his voice when a slow sweet smile dawns on his face.

″I mean it,″ Fili says. ″You didn’t need to follow me because I’ll always come back to you.″

″How could I not follow?″ Kili murmurs, his mouth hovering above Fili's and Fili can't help wondering just when his brother became so seductive. ″You are the blood of my blood, the heart of my heart. You have no idea what I'll do for you. How can I not follow you when I love you so much.″

Fili knows that his face is flushed and he swallows heavily for Kili's words have stirred feelings within him to which he is only just becoming accustomed.

Kili doesn't seem to need an answer though as he drops his head and presses his mouth against his fading Alpha mark on Fili's throat. Another gasp escapes Fili at the sensation and his eyes drift shut as he tries to force his mind into practicalities.

″Did… did anyone see you arrive?″ he finally manages to ask.

″No,″ Kili mumbles against Fili's skin before lifting his head to gaze down at Fili. ″The plan was that no one should know I was here.″

″The plan?″

A slow, strange smile crosses Kili's face, one that Fili can only describe as an odd mixture of amusement and menace.

″Oh, I'm not the only one who followed you,″ Kili says, and there's a thread of Alpha tone running through it that makes Fili shiver.

″Thorin's coming here?″ Fili asks, trying to ignore the sudden racing of his heart.

″Hmm,″ Kili hums, as he slides his lips along Fili’s jaw, tugging gently on Fili's short beard with his teeth. Fili shivers again at the feeling of it and then uses one hand to force Kili's head up.

″I think you'd better tell me what's been going on,″ he says firmly.

Kili nods and backs away, ruffling a hand through his wind-blown hair, before slumping onto the bed.

″We slept late,″ he says, darting a rueful smile at Fili. ″We were… ah… exhausted.″

Oh, and Fili can't stop the blush that those words cause but he can at least ignore it and nod for Kili to continue.

″We found your note after mid-day,″ Kili says, ″and Dwalin and I left to search Dale and Lake Town not long after. Not to bring you back,″ he adds quickly. ″Thorin said we should give you whatever time you needed, but the _risk_ , Fili. We needed to know where you were and that you were _safe_.″

There's still a hint of the panic he must have felt in Kili's voice and Fili flinches.

″We kept it quiet that you were gone,″ Kili continues. ″Otherwise you would have had every unbonded Alpha in Erebor searching for you and it wouldn't have just been a _search_ , Fili. It would have been a _hunt,_ for that is the Alpha instinct _._ I don't think you realised that.″

Fili shakes his head, for no, this is yet another aspect that he hadn't been aware of, or even thought about, and he can tell by the restraint and control in Kili's voice that it was an aspect that had truly caused him anxiety, as well as being an instinct that he'd had to govern in himself. And, in that moment, Fili realises the maturity that Kili has gained in the last year since becoming an Alpha. Once he would have flown out of Erebor on Fili's trail with little thought or planning, bringing havoc in his wake, but now Fili can see that Kili has acted in this, and taken Thorin's council, with more forethought than Fili had managed for himself. It stirs pride in him that is more than he would feel just for a brother, and he can see that one day, very soon, Kili will be a truly formidable Alpha.

″By the time we got back to Dale, Ori had gone into Heat so Dwalin had to go to him. Thorin had heard about Bofur and Bifur travelling to the Iron Hills and he thought that maybe you had gone with them so he had sent out what few ravens he could without arousing suspicion that something was amiss. We got your message from Caroc and it was pretty clear that you didn't realise what you could be walking into.″

″Actually I did,″ Fili says. ″Well, not when I saw Caroc and I didn't work it out for myself but Bofur and Bifur talked some sense into me. Enough that we were careful and no one knows that I'm here. Not even Dain.″

Kili lets out a sigh of relief. ″Well, thank Mahal for that,″ he says. ″I'll have to try to get a message to Bofur to pass onto Thorin when he gets here.″

″Bofur will be here later,″ Fili tells him. ″But tell me, where is Thorin then? Why isn't he with you?″

Kili grins. ″Oh, Thorin's on the road still, with half of the council and quite a lot of Royal Guards in tow. No Dwalin, of course, and he left Balin in charge of the rest of the council so you'll have to face _those_ two later. In the message for Dain that he sent, Thorin called it an Official Royal Visit and they'll all be here some time tomorrow for a nice friendly round of trade negotiations and council petitions. We all left at the same time, and officially you were with us, but as soon as we got past Dale and the sun went down, Thorin sent me on ahead to sneak in and find you in case something had already gone wrong.″

Kili suddenly gets up off the bed and Fili finds himself pressed against the wall again.

″I rode hard all night and all day to get here, and then climbed in through an air-shaft. It was _not_ pleasant.″

There is a heated, teasing light in Kili's eyes and it makes some sort of strange exhilaration come over Fili, a wild mixture of relief and happiness at seeing Kili, and later he tells himself that it is the reason for what he does next. For he tilts his head on one side and looks up at Kili from under his lashes, whilst he slips one hand between Kil's legs and presses it gently against his crotch.

″You said I had no idea what you'd do for me,″ he says softly. ″Are _shafts_ not included?″

Kili's eyes go wide with shock and his mouth drops open and Fili stifles the urge to laugh, even as he wonders if he really is perhaps going slightly insane. All the same, he thinks, if this _is_ madness at least it feels good.

Then they both jump as there is a loud knock on the door.

″Tell me,″ Dis calls. ″Is my other son ever going to come out of there and greet me properly?″

Kili lets out a soft groan of frustration. ″Yes, mother, sorry,″ he calls, and then he presses forward and lowers his head. Fili expects a kiss but instead Kili's mouth moves against his ear.

″You little _shit_ ,″ he whispers. ″You’ll pay for that later.″

Fili is still smiling to himself when Kili flings open the door and walks right into their mother’s embrace.

The greetings are long and heartfelt and Fili is not surprised when Kili disappears for a while with their mother as he's fairly certain they have their own talking to do. He takes the opportunity to put away the items he'd been working on in his room, placing them in a small wooden box and hiding it in the pocket of his coat.

When he returns to the main living room, Bofur and Bifur have arrived and once Kili has returned from his bath they fill them both in on the need for Bofur to go to Thorin with a message when he arrives.

After that it's a night of good food and good music, for Bofur has his tin whistle with him and is in the mood for singing. Dis is known for her beautiful voice and it is sheer pleasure for Fili to hear it once more. It's only when Kili nearly falls asleep at the table that they finally end the evening.

Kili drifts after Fili into his room and then hovers in the doorway, and Fili gives him a questioning look.

″You do want me here with you?″ Kili asks quietly. ″I mean, I can always go to the other spare bedchamber if you want me to...″

Fili's chest tightens at the look of self-doubt on Kili's face, something he rarely sees on his confident brother.

″Come in,″ he says softly. ″I want you here.″

That sweet smile of Kili's dawns, and he shuts the door quietly, before sitting down on the bed and wearily trying to kick off his boots. Fili smiles and kneels down to help him.

″Mother says she told you about my letter,″ Kili says, hesitantly. ″Are you angry with me?″

″No,″ Fili sighs. ″I still wish that you or Thorin could have found a way to tell _me_ but I can't be angry with you for trying to help. And I think your letter did do that. It made it easier for mother and I to talk, so I'll thank you for it.″

″And I owe you an apology as well,″ Fili continues. ″I shouldn't have left the way I did. I needed to get away but I should have thought more about what I was doing, and how it would affect you, and I definitely shouldn't have left such a vague letter. I'm sorry."

″Do you still need to get away?″

The question is almost whispered and Fili understands everything that Kili is asking in it.

″No,″ he says quietly, as he tugs off Kili's remaining boot. ″Not anymore.″

He hears Kili's soft sigh and glances up at him. Kili has pulled off his tunic and his skin and hair gleam in the lamplight, but it his eyes that capture Fili, for they are darkened and the promise in them is heavy.

″Come here, Fili,″ Kili says, with Alpha seductiveness threading through his voice.

Fili smiles, even as arousal flutters in his stomach.

″I thought you were tired,″ he says, as he sits on the bed beside Kili.

Kili doesn't answer, just gives Fili a smile full of temptation, and already he has one hand sliding up under Fili's loose linen tunic. The feel of his hand on Fili's bare skin is very distracting, but even so he's feeling suddenly oddly nervous and he realises that it's because this is the first time they will be together when he's not dazed by the Heat.

″I don't think either of us is too tired,″ Kili says close to Fili's ear, his breath ruffling Fili's hair and making him shiver. ″In fact, _I_ think-″

″I don’t think I want to know what you think,″ Fili interrupts, and he leans forward and presses his lips to Kili’s.

It turns out to be a very effective way of silencing Kili and even when Kili breaks the kiss to draw Fili’s tunic up over his head he doesn’t speak again. Instead he pulls Fili down on to the bed and rolls them over, settling down on top of Fili with a satisfied moan.

Their kisses are a slow, languid exploration but it still doesn’t take too long for Fili to realise that his trousers are becoming restrictively tight and he tries to slide a hand in between them to loosen his laces. The motion makes Kili draw back and look down at Fili, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

″Let me,″ he breathes, and then he’s sliding down Fili’s body until his face is hovering above Fili’s straining crotch. A moment later he has Fili’s trousers opened and pulled down, and when his mouth suddenly descends on Fili’s hard shaft, Fili fails to bite back a sharp yelp.

Kili looks up and grins.

″Quiet,″ he says. ″You wouldn’t want them to _hear_ , would you?″

Fili gives him an annoyed look. ″You _knew_ that would happen,″ he whispers furiously.

″I _did_ say you’d pay,″ Kili replies. ″But I think you’ll be happy with the price in the end.″

His head lowers as Fili watches and this time he is prepared for the exquisite sensation of Kili’s mouth taking in his erection. His head falls back on the pillow and his eyes drift shut as he wonders at the feeling of it, the warm, wet suction that draws him in; he could never have imagined a feeling like this. He’s still lost in it when he feels a moist finger brush against his entrance and without thought he arches his hips in a silent plea for more.

Instead Kili releases him and slides up along Fili’s body, his lips brushing Fili’s skin all the way, until he buries his face against Fili’s throat, pressing against the faint bruise of his own Alpha mark.

″I want to fuck you so much,″ he murmurs in Fili’s ear and the Alpha tone is so strong in his voice that Fili actually almost lets out a whimper of sheer need. As it is, he’s already started the motion to turn when Kili’s hand on his hip halts him.

″No, not like that,″ he says. ″I want you on your back but the problem is we need...″ He pauses for a moment looking thoughtful and then he grins at Fili. ″Wait a minute.″

A moment later he’s out of the bed and quietly opening the door. Whilst he’s gone Fili reflects that it seems in these sort of situations Kili’s blunt way of putting things doesn’t seem to embarrass him as much as it seems to excite him. He’s still thinking about that when Kili returns, shutting the door softly, and it’s not until he’s near the bed that Fili notices the small bottle of oil in Kili’s hand.

″Kili,″ he says doubtfully.

″I took it from Gairin’s stores,″ Kili whispers, climbing back into the bed.

″Kili,″ Fili hisses, because that _does_ embarrass him. ″No, Kili, he’ll notice that it’s gone-″

Kili silences him with a kiss that proves just as effective on Fili as it had when _he’d_ done it to Kili. By the time Kili has his own and Fili’s trousers pulled off and one slick finger circling his entrance, Fili has decided that he doesn’t care if Gairin, or even his mother, notices the missing oil.

″Come on,″ Fili whispers, impatience threading through his voice.

Kili grins. ″Demanding,″ he says, but Fili can’t react to it because he’s caught up in the feeling of Kili’s finger sliding into him, and when Kili drops his head to take in Fili’s shaft once more, Fili is on the edge again.

″Oh sweet Mahal,″ he breathes, letting his head fall back on the pillows. He spreads his legs wider as Kili pushes in a second finger and Kili hums in approval making Fili bite his bottom lip to stifle his moan of pleasure at the sensation around his erection.

The Heat had been all about his need to be knotted and tied, and the satisfaction of that had been all he had focused on at the time. But this is different. He can feel every slide of Kili’s tongue against him and every push of Kili’s fingers like sparks through his body, and sometimes his fingers press against something that makes the pleasure even more intense. Fili can only imagine what it will be like when Kili is actually inside him. Although he’s starting to wonder if he will make it that far for he can feel his climax rising.

He feels around the bed for the small bottle of oil and pours some in his hand.

″Kili,″ he whispers, and when Kili looks up at him, with his eyes so dark that they almost look black, Fili’s stomach quivers with need.

″Let me touch you.″

Kili nods and sits up, his fingers still pressing deeply inside Fili, and it takes all of his remaining focus to reach out and coat Kili’s shaft with oil. He strokes Kili’s erection a few times, enjoying the feel of the firm flesh in his hand, and Kili lets out a soft growl.

A moment later Kili withdraws his fingers and looms over Fili, settling between his wide-spread thighs. There is more pressure to his entrance than there had been during the Heat and Fili gasps as Kili slowly sinks into him and, oh, this is much more intimate as well, Fili realises, with Kili’s eyes on his face, his look searching. Fili can’t stop himself from colouring up.

″Any pain?″ Kili murmurs.

Fili manages to shake his head. The pressure is intense and he can feel the strain of the stretch at his entrance but it is not exactly pain, and it quickly eases into something more pleasurable.

Kili settles over him, pressing a soft kiss to Fili’s lips as Fili moans softly at the feeling of Kili’s weight trapping his own shaft between their bodies. It had softened slightly during the strain of Kili entering him but now it hardens again and Fili can feel the moisture gathering at its tip.

Kili rolls his hips and the movement of his shaft inside Fili makes Fili moan again. His hands clutch at Kili’s shoulders, his fingers tangling in his brother’s silky hair, and he lets his thighs rest against Kili’s hips. Kili lets out a soft sound of approval and his next thrust is harder, deeper, and Fili finds himself rolling his own hips up to meet it.

He can't stop a soft moan escaping him on every thrust Kili makes for the place deep inside that Kili’s shaft moves against sends waves of sharp, warm pleasure through Fili’s body. They have a rhythm together now, one that builds towards a peak that Fili almost doesn’t want to reach because it will mean the end of this feeling.

″Fili,″ Kili says into his ear as his hands find Fili's wrists and he holds them down on either side of Fili's head. Excitement surges through Fili and he strains and arches against Kili's strong body.

″Fili,″ Kili repeats, his voice heavy with Alpha possession. ″You were so lovely during your Heat. But this is so much better for you are _here_ , with _me_ , you're _mine_ , as you would be if we were bonded.″

″You're _mine_ , Fili, and I am yours. I won't have any other.″

The words sink into Fili but he can’t concentrate on them, not when he’s now so close to his building climax. All he has to answer with is his body so he opens his eyes and turns his head, finding Kili’s lips waiting for him and they fall into a heated kiss.

They break apart, both breathing hard, and when Fili feels Kili’s hand close around his aching erection he keens softly. A moment later, it’s over, as he pulses in Kili’s hand, spilling between them. He arches his head back, lost in bliss, and feels Kili’s lips moving on his throat as his brother thrusts a few hard times and stills, pressing deep, and groaning against Fili’s skin.

They are both still for many moments afterwards and then finally Kili moves away gently, grimacing in sympathy when Fili lets out a little hiss at the sting of Kili’s withdrawal. He mops up the mess between them with Fili’s nightshirt and when Fili looks at him with a raised eyebrow, Kili laughs softly.

″Neither of us is going to wear anything anyway,″ he whispers, settling down beside Fili and pulling him closer. ″I think I’d be naked with you all the time if I could.″

A small snort escapes from Fili. ″Can you imagine what council meetings would be like? Perhaps you should suggest it to Thorin.″

″Have you gone insane?″ Kili says. ″Too many Alphas on the council. As soon as one of them looked at you I’d kill them… if Thorin didn’t do it first.″

Kili sounds amused but there’s an underlying hint of possessiveness to his voice that makes Fili squirm, although he’s not sure for what reason. Once he would have been affronted by it, but now it just feels instinctively natural in some way. After all, they are _his_ Alphas.

He blinks at the thoughts going through his head and distracts himself by tracing his finger over the new tattoo on Kili’s upper arm. In dwarven culture tattoos always have a meaning, Fili knows, but this is something that he doesn’t recognise.

″What is this?″ he asks.

For a moment Kili seems to hesitate.

″It’s the Durin Alpha sigil,″ he finally says, and Fili can sense the sudden tension in Kili’s body.

″Oh?″ Fili traces his finger over the mark again and realises that if all had gone as he’d always thought it would, he would by now have borne the same tattoo. Of course, if he had, he also wouldn’t have spent time with Kili in the way he’s just done, and he’s pretty certain that Kili is thinking the same thing.

″It’s quite beautiful,″ he finally says, and when the tension eases out of Kili he smiles. ″Is there a Durin sigil for Omegas?″

Kili looks thoughtful. ″I don’t think there is, actually. It’s never...″ he falters, and Fili smiles again.

″It’s never been needed before,″ Fili finishes. ″Well, I guess I’ll have to design one then.″

The next morning he begins to do just that, as Kili sleeps late. Once Kili does wake, he prowls the room, complaining about their forced seclusion. But Thorin’s instructions had been clear, neither of them are to show their faces until he arrives and has met with them but Kili has never dealt very well with confinement and Fili does his best to ignore him.

Eventually Dis distracts Kili by showing him some new designs for weapons that she is working on and the rest of the morning passes peacefully enough.

They are just finishing the mid-day meal when the sound of the Great Iron Horn blasts through the Halls and then comes a distant answering echo from beyond the Iron Gate.

″Thorin’s here,″ Kili says.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Thorin can’t come to them immediately, there are official greetings to be got through first, and the delay gives Fili’s nerves plenty of time to rise.

He waits with Kili, for Dis and Gairin are part of the official welcome, and Kili annoys him by giving him amused looks every time Fili lets out a frustrated sigh. He wants to get this over and done with.

He’s not sure why he feels so much more anxiety about this impending meeting than he had when Kili had arrived. Many times throughout their years both he and Kili have incurred Thorin’s displeasure, even his anger, but this feels different... and much more personal. There is, of course, still the fact that Thorin is his King and Fili’s actions hadn’t been wise in that respect, but he’s more concerned with Thorin's reaction on an intimate level, particularly after hearing the story Bofur had told him. Fili's relationship with Kili has always been so close, there is little that he does not know about his brother, but Thorin is more of a mystery to him and he is not as confident about knowing Thorin’s responses.

And maybe it’s also the fact that he knows that after this night they will not be as they were. There will be no going back.

Fili paces the room until he is suddenly halted by Kili standing in front of him. Fili glances up at him and notices that the teasing light in his eyes has been replaced with concern.

″You're worrying about this too much,″ Kili says softly.

Fili nods and watches as the mischief comes back into Kili's eyes.

″All you have to do is look at him the way you looked at me and all will-″

″Don't say it,″ Fili says through gritted teeth.

″-be well,″ Kili continues, smiling slowly, but before Fili can react there is a series of knocks on the door – three slow, followed by three fast.

″That’s Bofur’s knock,″ Fili says.

But it’s not Bofur who enters the room when Kili opens the door. Instead it is Thorin who strides in, his long travelling coat billowing behind him and hair flowing freely. Fili’s heart leaps into his throat when he meets Thorin’s blue eyes and the flutter of nerves in his stomach increases tenfold.

″We don’t have much time,″ Thorin says, before Fili can even begin to think about words and what order to put them in. ″I have made your apologies to Dain but he will expect to greet you both very soon.″

Fili has a moment of confusion and it only grows as he watches Thorin's face, for Thorin's expression is unreadable. Not exactly cold, but there is a distance there that is unfamiliar and it makes Fili's heart begin to ache.

″You… you have told him we are here?″ he finally manages to ask.

″Of course,″ Thorin says. ″You and Kili travelled here with me. Bofur managed to draw my sister away and so we have told Dain and his council that you are having a private moment with your mother.″

″I… see,″ Fili says hesitantly, for Thorin's expression still communicates nothing. ″Thank you for covering my… my reckless behaviour.″

Thorin shoots him a sharp glance. ″And you acknowledge the error?″

It is clear that the question is from a King to his Heir and Fili lifts his head higher. ″Yes,″ he say in a firm voice. ″I should have thought more clearly about what I was doing. I apologise.″

Thorin merely nods in acceptance and Fili doesn’t know what to think. He can sense that Thorin is holding himself tightly controlled but he can't even begin to guess what his uncle is thinking… or feeling. He glances at Kili for a moment in confusion but his brother’s expression is just as indecipherable.

″Will it still be a problem?″ Fili asks. ″My being here, unbonded, I mean.″

For the first time some sort of emotion flashes into Thorin’s eyes.

″They can try to make it a problem,″ he says flatly. ″They won’t succeed.″

Fili hears Kili make a slight noise of agreement and it is clear to him that, in that moment, his brother is no longer thinking as a Prince, but as an Alpha with the instinct to protect the Omega he has chosen. As for what Thorin is thinking, Fili still has no idea, even as he watches the distance come back into Thorin's eyes.

He slips a hand into his pocket, his fingers finding the small box resting there. It's been there all morning and he's never carried anything so light that seemed so heavy but now it's as if his heart is even heavier. He lets the box slip out of his grasp. It's not the right moment and it was probably foolish of him to have ever thought it might be, not when it is clear that he and Thorin have more to speak of than he'd thought.

″We must go,″ Thorin says.

Fili hesitates for a moment as Thorin paces to the door and opens it but once Thorin has walked through it Fili follows. Beside him Kili walks silently and eventually Fili gives him a questioning look.

″Kili, what…?″ he whispers, but falls silent when Kili shakes his head.

″I’m not sure,″ Kili says softly, his eyes on Thorin’s back. ″But we can’t talk now.″

They enter the Great Hall of the Iron Hills and immediately Fili can feel the eyes of many Alphas upon him. He lifts his head and follows Thorin, keeping his pace steady. Kili is beside him and already Fili can sense his brother’s tension but all he can do is keep walking until they reach Dain.

Dain’s eyes sweep over Fili, his eyes widening as he senses the change in him, and obviously noting the fact that Fili is unbonded, his eyebrows rise. Fili can only feel his own relief that Dain is a bonded Alpha and that his own awareness of Dain is merely limited to that fact.

Dain gives Thorin an odd look.

″Seems a strange time to come visitin’, Thorin,″ he says in a voice low enough that only they can hear.

″We had our reasons,″ Thorin replies, just as quietly. ″We will talk on it later.″

″Aye then,″ Dain agrees, and he jumps off the small dais he’d been standing on and quickly embraces both Fili and Kili.

″Welcome cousins,″ he says loudly. ″The dwarves of the Iron Hills are proud to give you welcome here. We are honoured by your visit.″

″And that’s enough of that claptrap,″ he continues, with a broad grin. ″Let’s get down to business. Break out the barrels.″

The feast is a long one and plentiful. The oak tables almost groan with the multitude of roast meats, vegetables, pies and pastries, small kegs of ale and carafes of red, jewel-like wine. Fili is seated between Thorin and Kili but Thorin is occupied in conversation with Dain and barely speaks a word to Fili except in generalities.

And whilst Fili would never attempt to have a significant talk in such a public setting his confusion starts to become irritation at the way Thorin is so closed off to him.

″What is wrong with him?″ he finally whispers to Kili. ″Why is he acting like this?″

Kili gives him a sympathetic smile. ″I really don't know, I'm afraid,″ he says. ″But do you think there's any way that we could convince Gairin and mother to move to Erebor? If this is the standard of Gairin's kitchens I think he's wasted here.″

″Don't say that to Dain,″ Fili replies dryly. ″We've only just managed to avoid one problem. Let's not cause another so soon.″

Kili lets out a soft snort of laughter and Fili gives him a distracted smile. It's not just Thorin's mood that is unsettling him, it's also the fact that he can feel the heavy interest of the unbonded Alphas in the chamber. It is the first time since his Heat, and becoming an Omega, that he is in the presence of so many of them and, whilst he can tell himself that their focus is so intense because he's male _and_ the Heir, it is still more than he could ever have imagined.

And it's also because he's the Heir that he knows what he has to do. Even if it _does_ mean perhaps causing a bit of a problem.

He waits until the tables are clearing, and music and dancing are starting, before he finally makes a move to leave the high table. Kili, who is seated beside him, immediately leans closer.

″Where are you going?″ he asks quietly.

″I’m the Heir, Kili,″ Fili replies. ″I can’t sit here hiding behind you and Thorin all night. I have to go out there and show them I’m strong in my own right, whether bonded or not.″

Kili stares at him for a moment, his eyes full of conflict, and Fili tries to fill his own eyes with reassurance.

″Trust me,″ he whispers, and then grins and raises one eyebrow. ″All will be well.″

Kili finally laughs and Fili steps away from the table. Immediately he can sense that he's being tracked and it reminds him of what Kili had said about the Alpha's instinct to hunt. He forces himself to ignore the sensation and squares his shoulders as he walks through the crowds of dwarves, noting the fact that Thorin's Royal Guards are watching him closely.

The Alphas don’t crowd him immediately as he moves through the Great Hall but it’s not long before quite a few hover in his vicinity as he talks with various Betas and Omegas. Some of them he knows from after the Battle of the Five Armies when the Iron Hills dwarves had stayed at Erebor for a while. Many had chosen to remain in Erebor at that time, but still many had returned to the Iron Hills settlement with Dain.

As he'd noticed just before leaving Erebor, his awareness of the Alphas is not quite the same as it had been when he'd been approaching his Heat and he guesses that this is what it will be like until he approaches the next one, if he remains unbonded. He can feel their interest, in some there is desire, in some it is blended with avarice, in others it is curiosity or friendship. It's a relief to have this extra knowledge and to know that not all of them see him as a prize to be hunted and won. It makes him realise that an Omega isn't entirely at the mercy of their instincts during the Heat, and that this added sense is what allows the unbonded Omegas to make their choices regarding who they will mate with when the Heat comes.

He smiles wryly to himself for this is yet another aspect of being an Omega that it would have been reassuring to know about before making the change.

Eventually, a young Alpha with burnished red hair and beard and sparkling green eyes, approaches Fili and he smiles in welcome for this is one he remembers.

″Prince Fili,″ the Alpha says. ″It is good to see you again.″

″Likewise, Tamli.″ Fili replies.

″Ah, you remember me,″ Tamli says with a pleased smile, and Fili nods. ″And do you like what you have seen of the Iron Hills so far?″

″It has its charms,″ Fili answers with a wry smile, because he hasn't exactly seen that much of the Iron Hills.

Tamli grins, amused, and Fili has to admit that a part of him basks in the interest that he sees in the young Alpha's eyes, for he feels his own attraction to him. He glances up at the high table half expecting to see Kili watching him but it is instead Thorin’s eyes that he meets, his expression as unreadable as it has been all evening.

″The Iron Hills is my home,″ Tamli says, drawing Fili’s eyes away from Thorin. ″But, I confess, that sometimes I wish that I had stayed in Erebor for it, too, has its charms.″

Fili nods his head at the obvious, almost clumsy, compliment even as he can see in Tamli's eyes the invitation for Fili to join him in the joke for, Fili knows, Tamli is as aware of Fili's interest, as much as Fili is aware of Tamli's. The attraction is there but also is the offer of friendship with no complications and that charms Fili more than Tamli's appeal as an Alpha.

He stays talking to Tamli for some time until eventually another Alpha, hovering near, becomes impatient with Fili’s lack of attention and seeks to interrupt them by laying a hand on Fili’s arm.

It’s the moment he’s been waiting for, the moment to assert who is and what he will allow. He looks at the hand on his arm and then up at the Alpha with a steady gaze, calm and distant. His heart thumps in his chest at the look in the Alpha's eyes, but he holds his ground.

″Your hand,″ he says in a low voice. ″Remove it if you want to keep it.″

It is no more than he would have said before his change and it is telling that it now causes a few gasps from the Alphas around, for such a defiant rejection of an Alpha from an unbonded Omega is not often seen.

Beside him he can sense that Tamli has stiffened with antagonism towards the other Alpha and in the corner of his eye he can see some of the Royal Guard are moving nearer, seemingly casual. If the Alpha is foolish enough to try to use the Alpha voice on Fili, there will be trouble, and he will have to hold firm and act quickly before Kili, or possibly Thorin, become involved. His hand hovers near one of his knives as he locks eyes with the Alpha and stares him down.

Fili sees the moment of his victory in the Alpha's eyes, but he shows no emotion when the Alpha removes his hand and stalks away. Fili knows that he has made an enemy there, but all Kings and Princes have enemies, and at least he knows about this one. And this moment had to come, Fili thinks, because he is not just any Omega, he is also the Heir, and he has to be strong enough to be both. He's certain the news of what just happened will spread beyond the Iron Hills, to Erebor, and into every remaining dwarf settlement.

″His name is Laidin,″ Tamli says quietly. ″An unpleasant sort. I’m fairly positive that one day soon he’ll be found with a knife in his ribs.″

Fili gives him a startled look and Tamli grins.

″I didn’t say I would do it,″ he says, eyes sparkling and, oh, Fili could see himself falling for this one if the situation were different.

″I just said that someday, someone would get around to it,″ Tamli continues, gaze flitting over Fili’s shoulder. ″And here’s your brother.″

Fili turns and meets Kili’s eyes. They are stormy but also full of admiration in a way that makes Fili’s pulse quicken.

″Are you ready to go?″

It is not a question, not in that tone of voice, but Fili forgives it for he knows that he has just tested Kili as much as he has tested himself.

″Yes,″ Fili agrees, and bids farewell to Tamli with promises to talk again in the future.

He glances one last time at Thorin, who is still speaking with Dain, and then follows Kili through the dimly lit passages. He’s not surprised when as soon as they are alone Kili pushes him against the wall and kisses him fiercely and Fili meets him with just as much hunger.

″Fili,″ Kili says in full Alpha voice, when they finally ease away from each other. ″Do you _know_ how hard it was for me not to remove that animal's hand permanently? With an axe.″

″I have some idea,″ Fili replies.

″Good,″ is all that Kili says before walking off along the passage again.

As he follows Kili, Fili takes the opportunity to look around curiously, not that there is much to see in a plain passageway. But still, he does notice some differences between Erebor and the Iron Hills. He’s become accustomed to the magnificence of Erebor and it’s smooth green marble stone but the Iron Hills reminds him of Ered Luin in many ways. It’s rough and ready halls are hewn out of the grey granite and it’s torches flare and flicker in a way that the amber lamps of Erebor do not.

″Where are we going?″ he asks, as they take a different route from the one they had used earlier.

″Halls of Royalty,″ Kili answers. ″We’re official guests now. Mother had your gear moved over a little while ago.″

The room they enter is large and its wall hangings are predominantly scarlet, as is the upholstery on the chairs and benches.

″I wish Dain didn’t like red so much,″ Kili mutters. ″This is like walking into a forge. I like forges but I don’t want to live in one.″

″Well, he has good ale at any rate,″ Fili says, spotting the cask on a table and pouring out tankards for them both.

Kili takes his with a grin and slumps into a chair by the fire, stretching out his legs towards the hearth. Fili wanders the room, opening doors and noting that his belongings have been placed in one of the bedrooms along with Kili’s gear. There are two other bedrooms opening off the main chamber and when Fili sees what is obviously Thorin’s saddlebags in one of them he frowns slightly before taking a seat near Kili.

″Was Thorin very angry when I left?″ he eventually asks.

″I wouldn’t say that,″ Kili responds. ″To be honest, I couldn't really tell what he was feeling. Not until Caroc got back with the news of where you were going. He was angry then, but I can’t say for certain that his anger was actually directed at you.″

″So you didn’t talk about it?″

Kili shakes his head.

″Only about what we’d do about the fact that you’d come here. As I said, the plan was that we left Erebor together and then I was to go on ahead sneak into the Iron Hills and find you.″

″You really didn’t talk about it?″ Fili pushes, and he’s not surprised when Kili gives him a look tinged with impatience.

″I told you we didn’t,″ he says. ″You have to understand that my relationship with Thorin is very different to yours. We are both Alphas and there are some things that we are never going to share. We love each other, and we hope to one day be Alpha bond-mates, but it’s not the same as how we feel about you. It will never be like that.″

″And as his problem was with me,″ Fili says thoughtfully, ″he didn’t talk with you about it.″

″Exactly,″ Kili agrees. ″Besides, it’s Thorin. He doesn’t bare his heart often so he saves it for the person it’s meant for.″

″I know that I have to talk to him,″ Fili says. ″I just wish I had more idea of what he’s thinking. He’s very… unreadable… at the moment.″

″Well, all I can tell you is that when we did talk he was always very clear that he didn’t want to put any pressure on you because you were already dealing with the change. Perhaps when you left the way you did he felt that somehow he’d done that.″

″Perhaps,″ Fili says thoughtfully. They could speculate all night, he supposes, but until he talks to Thorin he won’t know anything for sure and he’s starting to feel a sense of urgency. He glances at the door and hopes that Thorin will come through it soon.

″Kili,″ he says hesitantly. ″Do you think you could...″ He stops when he notices that Kili is already nodding his head.

″Yes, this is between you and him,″ Kili says. ″You’re right, you need to talk alone.″

He stands and leans over Fili’s chair, pressing a kiss to his lips, one that Fili returns eagerly, only breaking it when he realises that Kili is pressing something into his hand.

It’s the small bottle of oil that Kili had stolen from Gairin’s stores the night before and when Fili looks up and sees the smirk on Kili’s face he’s tempted to throw it at his head.

″No, don’t,″ Kili says, obviously reading Fili only too well. ″You might need it.″

Fili can feel his face starting to burn and Kili runs a finger along his cheek and then saunters over to their bedchamber door.

″Now, just be thankful that I thought of it,″ he says, and then he’s gone and Fili lets a smile linger on his lips.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Né kikûn inthir – Never forget

It grows late and Fili’s eyes are beginning to feel heavy before he finally hears the door to their quarters open. He turns in the comfortable armchair he’s been sitting in and meets Thorin’s eyes as Thorin pauses for a moment in the doorway before quietly closing the door and entering the room.

He approaches the dying fire and places more fire-rock on it.

″It’s late,″ he says quietly, without looking at Fili. ″You should be asleep.″

″I wanted to talk to you,″ Fili replies and, finally, Thorin glances at him.

″Very well,″ Thorin says, heavily.

Fili expects him to take the seat opposite but instead Thorin goes to the table and pours himself a tankard of ale.

″You did well tonight,″ he says, still with his back to Fili.

A little shiver of memory goes through Fili, the memory of Thorin telling him he’d done well during his Heat. Images flow through his mind and even though he tells himself that the moment is inappropriate he can’t suppress his growing arousal. He’s starting to wonder if he will always feel this way when he’s with either Thorin or Kili… because, he thinks wryly, it could be inconvenient at times.

″I wasn’t sure you’d approve,″ Fili replies. He shifts restlessly, wishing that Thorin would turn around and _look_ at him.

″After all,″ he continues. ″You could say I chose to take another risk.″

Fili jumps in his seat when Thorin suddenly slams the tankard down on the table. A moment later Thorin is leaning over him, his hands on the armrests on either side of Fili, his eyes blazing, and Fili’s heart leaps into his throat.

″I have always wanted you to have the freedom to make your own choices, Fili, as much as was possible,″ Thorin says. ″Believe me, I would have razed the Iron Hills to the ground if they had tried to take that freedom away from you.″

Thorin’s voice is full of Alpha dominance in a way that makes Fili’s stomach drop and he’s not sure why he’s so affected by the threat of violence on his behalf. Perhaps it’s the final settling of his Omega nature that makes Thorin’s promise so compelling and, he can’t deny, exciting, but he suspects it's also seeing Thorin lose some of his iron-clad control.

They lock gazes for a moment and then Fili can’t stop himself. He surges forward, sliding his hands into Thorin’s hair, and pressing his lips to Thorin’s mouth. For a moment Thorin is frozen and then he responds, as forcefully as Fili could wish.

It’s all slick, wet heat and hunger and Fili is getting to the point of moaning into Thorin’s mouth when Thorin draws back slowly and sits in the armchair opposite.

″But I also know the _risks_ you are willing to take,″ he says, in a low voice. ″Why did you leave, Fili?″

Fili takes a moment to gather his thoughts… and regain his breath. Thorin's expression is no longer distant in the way it has been all evening, but it is cautious, and Fili senses that he needs to take care with what he says next.

″I… I needed some time,″ he says, eventually. ″I was still unsettled after the Heat, and I realised that I needed to talk to mother about some of it.″

″But you felt that you couldn't tell us, tell _me_ , where you were going?″

″I thought that Kili would follow me and I needed to be away...″

″Away from us,″ Thorin finishes for him, and then sighs. ″And I dare say you thought I would bring you back rather than provide you with a proper escort. I don't blame you for not trusting me-″

″You can't truly believe that I don't trust you,″ Fili breaks in.

″How can I not?″ Thorin says quickly, and Fili is astonished to hear the crack of emotion in his voice. ″When I think of the risk you took with your Heat rather than come to us, rather than come to me, I can only think that you didn't want...″

Thorin falls silent as Fili lets out a choked sound of frustration and gets out of his chair. For a moment he paces the room and then he kneels on the rug in front of Thorin and places his hands on Thorin's thighs. The self-doubt in Thorin's eyes is so foreign to him that it makes Fili's heart clench and ache.

″Thorin, I did not _know,″_ he says. ″You have no idea how much I did not know. Until Bofur told me the story about Balin's cousin I had no idea that I was taking any risk, and I couldn't understand why you and Kili had not told me.″

He hears the startled gasp that comes from Thorin.

″And yes, I was resentful about that,″ Fili continues quickly, ″and yes I decided to leave it to chance, and I'm sorry that my decision must have caused you some pain. But I knew that I would not go to the Halls of the Unbonded and I had already decided that if the Heat was too much I would come to you. I… think I would have come to you anyway if I hadn't been so mixed up with fear and confusion. The truth is, I _did_ want you.″

″And yet you still left,″ Thorin says quietly.

″Yes,″ Fili says, firmly. ″I did. I needed to. For me.″

Thorin's eyes are on his face, sharp with intensity.

″You say you did not know the risk,″ he says slowly. ″But, surely all unbonded Omegas know that an unsatisfied Heat causes problems? That is why we have the Halls of the Unbonded.″

Fili shakes his head. ″I was woefully ignorant about Omegas and about what was happening to me, and there is still much that I don't understand. And not just Omegas, but Alphas as well, and what they would want from me. It was wrong to know so little, Thorin. I think that has to change, not just for Omegas, but for everyone. We have been too… too secretive about these matters, relying on what we hear from our families, or through hearsay… and it's not safe.″

″I think...″ he adds, cautiously. ″I understand why you made the decision to not tell future Omegas after what happened to Daylin. But maybe it would have been better to look at what is taught in the Halls of Training instead.″

Thorin had flinched at the mention of Daylin but Fili is relieved when he nods thoughtfully as Fili finishes speaking.

″What you have told me troubles me greatly,″ Thorin finally says. ″I confess I had begun to suspect that you did not know as much as I thought you had and that is why I managed to talk to Ori before he went into Heat.″ Fili drags in a startled breath, and Thorin gives him a reassuring smile.

″Oh, do not worry,″ he continues quickly. ″No confidences were breached. But as far as I can tell it does seem as if male Omegas approach the change somewhat differently to female Omegas. It comes on far more rapidly and far more intensely, and that this appears to be why the opportunity to tell you was missed, for both you and Ori. You were not the only one lacking knowledge, and I agree we need to know more about these things. I have already decided to review exactly what is taught in the Halls of Learning for all dwarves, Alpha, Beta, Omega alike. When we return to Erebor I would like you to lead the group that does this, if you agree?″

Fili nods. ″I definitely agree.″

Thorin takes a deep breath. ″Very well,″ he says. ″I want to tell you that I am sorry, Fili, for the way this all worked out. If I had told you earlier, you might have had a chance to learn enough to make the change more comfortable for you. My failure put you at risk and I can understand why you felt as you did. I am also sorry if my own… desires… put pressure on you. That was never my intention.″

″I know,″ Fili sighs, and his heart sinks, for as they have spoken Thorin has regained the stiff measure of his control and there is a sense of finality in his voice and words that Fili does not like. Once again, he finds it hard to read exactly what it is that Thorin is feeling, or thinking, or _wants_.

And Fili knows what it is that _he_ wants for himself and it is becoming clear that if he is to have it, he is going to have to reach out for it, and make Thorin lose some of that restraint.

″You should get some rest,″ Thorin says, and it's a clear dismissal. ″Tomorrow may be a long day.″

 _No turning back_ , Fili thinks as he slides one hand up along Thorin's thigh. He does not get far, for in a move so fast that Fili barely sees it, Thorin reaches down and grasps Fili's wrist.

There is a moment of silence in which Fili's heart hammers in his chest, made worse by the fact that Thorin's eyes are lowered and he can't see their expression. Then Fili takes a deep breath.

″I don't need any rest yet,″ he says softly. ″I need-″

He breaks off when, in another swift move, Thorin's other hand clenches into Fili's hair, wrenching his head back and holding him still. Fili gasps as excitement surges through him and, finally, Thorin looks at him. His eyes are dark and stormy and another thrill goes through Fili as he sees how tenuous Thorin's control has suddenly become, and how quickly Fili has pushed him to the edge.

″Be sure, Fili, be sure,″ Thorin says, in full Alpha voice. ″Do not forget that I am an Alpha. If we do this now, and you run again, I will not wait tamely for your return. I _will_ hunt you.″

Fili swallows heavily, and then licks his lips, watching Thorin's eyes darken even further. Those words, in that voice, have echoed through his body in a throbbing pulse that sends a flush of heat to his face.

″Maybe I will run just so you _can_ hunt me,″ he hears himself say.

A slow, almost wicked smile dawns on Thorin's face. It is a smile that makes Fili shiver in delicious anticipation, even as Thorin's hand on the back of his head forces him closer.

″Is that what you want, Fili?″ Thorin murmurs, his mouth hovering over Fili's. ″To be hunted, taken, and claimed?″

″By you, yes,″ Fili gasps quickly, and in that moment he sees Thorin's control break.

For a moment, he expects a kiss but as Thorin shoves him down onto the floor Fili knows that what Thorin wants now is far more primal. He barely has time to get the oil that Kili had given him (and yes, he decides, he _is_ now thankful to Kili for thinking of it) out of his pocket before Thorin is upon him, his hands delving into Fili's clothes, his hands gripping hard and actually tearing them away until, within moments, Fili is bare.

Thorin stills then, and his gaze travels over Fili's body, heated and almost avaricious, and Fili shifts restlessly even as a part of him wants to display himself for Thorin's pleasure. Thorin kneels over him, his long formal coat brushing Fili's skin, before he dives down and closes the gap between their mouths.

Fili lets his lips part as Thorin immediately deepens the kiss. He feels Thorin’s hands grabbing through his hair, catching on his braids, and holding him still as Thorin’s tongue sweeps through his mouth and tangles with Fili's with a sort of wild abandon that Fili matches as he writhes on the floor in a silent plea for Thorin's touch.

He has no idea if Thorin has understood Fili's need but it doesn't really matter for Thorin answers it anyway with a firm hand on Fili's shaft that has him straining to complete hardness in moments. Fili's head falls back as the dry, demanding strokes seem to rock through his body, and Thorin's mouth latches onto his throat, biting over his fading Alpha mark.

The pleasure of it all is almost painful and Fili keens softly, gasping for breath, for Thorin's desperation is intoxicating and he wants more of it, and to match it with his own. With a start, Fili realises that the bottle of oil is still in his hand and a flush rises to his face at the idea that goes through his mind.

He coats his fingers with some of the oil and reaches between his legs. It’s awkward, with Thorin kneeling above him, but he manages to get one finger just inside his entrance. It’s not deep enough, but he adds another one, welcoming the stretch of it, even though there is the slight ache from Kili’s possession the night before.

When Thorin suddenly draws back and lets out a low Alpha growl, Fili’s eyes fly open and he meets Thorin’s heavy-lidded gaze. His eyes are almost black as he stares down at Fili and Fili knows that Thorin is fully aware of what Fili is doing to himself.

Thorin's smile is almost feral as he leans back to kneel between Fili's spread legs. He grips Fili's hips, hard enough to bruise, and hauls him closer and then Fili watches as Thorin takes the oil from Fili's hand and coats his own fingers. A moment later he has two pressing deeply inside Fili, and Fili pulls his own hand free as a low moan escapes him.

″You want to be claimed, Fili,″ Thorin says, as he leans over Fili, his mouth brushing Fili's ear. His voice is all Alpha, dominating and possessive, and it makes Fili lie still, his eyes wide as he listens to Thorin's words. ″You need it, don't you? Just as much as I need to be the one claiming you. Do you know for how many years I've not even dared to hope that one day you would give yourself to me.″

Fili is so lost in Thorin's voice and his words that it is a few moments before he realises that the full pressure inside him is no longer Thorin's fingers. Something delicious and dark shudders through him at the idea that Thorin has merely unlaced and freed himself before entering Fili so quickly, and when he imagines how it must look, him completely bare whilst Thorin is still fully clothed, the flush of heat that goes through him is not one of embarrassment.

″And now you have,″ Thorin says, with heavy satisfaction in his voice that seems to echo in Fili. ″And I am yours, for you claimed me long ago. Never forget that I love you.″

″ _N_ _é_ _kik_ _û_ _n inthir_ ,″ Thorin murmurs, and somehow, the sudden full pleasure pain of possession, Thorin's words, and the thoughts and images in Fili's mind all seem to mix together to quickly push Fili to the edge, and with only a few hard thrusts from Thorin a sharp climax rushes through him and he finds himself suddenly spilling between them.

″Thorin...″ he gasps, as he clutches at Thorin's coat.

There is no answer from Thorin, and Fili is pliant, almost boneless, as Thorin takes him with such hard, heavy thrusts that Fili has to clench his hands into the fur rug beneath his back, in a futile effort to hold himself still. Finally Thorin slides his arms underneath Fili' shoulders, holding him steady with bruising force and Fili lets his hands wander over Thorin's broad back, before he delves under Thorin's tunic, seeking skin and revelling in the feeling of Thorin's muscles moving against him. When he wraps his legs around Thorin's hips, Thorin lets out a low growl of approval, and his thrusts deepen even further, sending sparks of pleasure through Fili, even though he is spent.

Thorin mumbles in his ear, words that Fili can’t make out, and then he stills, his whole body straining for a moment before Fili feels the pulse of his shaft inside him. For a moment he wishes they could knot for he wants to hold onto this moment, but Thorin’s obvious satisfaction and the solid weight of his relaxing body on Fili’s is enough, especially when Thorin’s lips find his in a languid kiss.

They lie there for many moments before Thorin, still breathing hard, finally draws away and rolls over to lie on his back beside Fili.

″Did I hurt you?″ Thorin asks quietly. Fili can hear the careful restraint that is back in Thorin's voice and he rolls his eyes, stretches luxuriously, yawns, and prepares himself to take another risk.

″No, my stupid Alpha,″ he says, wryly, ″but I'll certainly rest well now.″

His heart beats hard as he waits, and then the soft snort of laughter from Thorin gives Fili the confidence to roll onto his side and smile down at him, sliding a hand into his coat to rest on the firm flesh of Thorin's abdomen.

″Thorin,″ he says softly. ″I love you too, you know.″

Thorin turns his head to look at him, his expression slightly startled but open and full of warmth and Fili lets out a little sigh of relief. When Thorin's hand slides around the back of his neck, Fili leans down easily and meets Thorin's lips with a lingering, gentle kiss.

Thorin runs a possessive hand over Fili's naked body until he reaches Fili's entrance. Fili can feel Thorin's finger pressing against him, opening him slightly and when a small amount of Thorin's seed leaks out of him, Fili gasps, and buries his face against Thorin's throat.

″I should go and clean up,″ he mumbles, and Thorin lets out another amused huff.

″Not on my account,″ he says, and Fili can hear the low almost purr-like satisfaction in his voice.

Fili smiles against Thorin's skin, content to stay in the circle of Thorin's arms even though the air is starting to chill on his bare flesh. Finally he can't suppress a small shiver and Thorin must notice it for he stands and holds out a hand to Fili, helping him to his feet.

He finds the bathing chamber and cleans up. When he gets back to the main chamber, the room is empty and Fili hovers for a moment, uncertain. Finally he gathers up the remnants of his clothing, blushing a little over their state, and goes to the room that had contained Thorin’s saddlebags. The room is empty though; neither Thorin or the bags are there.

He finds Thorin, slowly undressing, in the room where Kili is already sleeping in the large bed and sighs with a mixture of nervous anticipation and relief. This room is even cooler and Fili shivers again as he climbs into the bed, settling beside Kili, who stirs restlessly but doesn’t wake.

Fili is already dozing when Thorin finally joins them and he falls asleep with Thorin’s arm settling over his waist.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

″Fili, wake up,″ a low voice murmurs right next to his ear and Fili’s eyes fly open.

Kili is lying next to him, leaning up on one elbow staring down at him with an amused smile. He’s fully dressed.

Fili looks at him with confusion and Kili’s smile widens.

″Thorin said you stayed up quite late,″ Kili says. ″So, we thought we'd let you sleep on, but if you don’t get up soon you’ll miss breakfast. There’s some sort of meeting starting mid-morning that Thorin wants us to attend, and the sooner we get through all the boring parts of this visit, the sooner we can get back to Erebor.″

It's obvious from his voice that Kili is thinking of his dwarflings and Fili has a little twinge of guilt, for he knows that it is not usual for a dwarf to leave his offspring when they are still so very young.

″I know you must have been torn between following me and staying,″ he says softly. ″I never intended to put you in that position.″

Kili is already shaking his head.

″Believe me, I don't regret the decision I made,″ he says. ″But I would like to get back as quickly as possible.″ He grins, his eyes sparkling. ″Both Ferin and Lilis were showing signs of sprouting their first whiskers just before I left. I want to see if they've come through yet.″

″Maybe I could go with you,″ Fili offers, and Kili's smile widens.

He leans forward and presses a lingering kiss to Fili’s mouth, and then he’s gone. Fili stretches and gets out of bed. There’s hot water in a large bowl on the table and he washes quickly, hoping there’ll be time for a long bath later because he has to admit his body is aching a little.

It’s when he’s putting on his long coat and he feels the small wooden box in his pocket that fluttery tension rises in Fili’s stomach. Of course, he's more confident about the situation now, but it is still nerve-racking, and he doesn't want to hesitate any longer.

Both Thorin and Kili are waiting for him in the main room. Kili’s eagerness to get to the Great Hall and eat is obvious, and for a moment Fili is tempted to delay the moment yet again. But he can’t, he needs to get this over and done with; he needs to let them know exactly how he feels about them.

″Let’s go,″ Kili says, but Fili doesn’t move and Thorin must sense something because he doesn’t either. Instead he gazes at Fili, his eyes searching.

″I wanted to show you this,″ Fili says, taking the small box out of his pocket. ″I… I’ve made something.″

He opens the box slowly and both Thorin and Kili move closer to look. Inside are four bonding beads, lapis lazuli with fine metal lace work, the blue and silver of the Durin line, and on each he has laid a minuscule raven of black diamond. It is the best and most intricate work he has ever done and Fili can’t help feeling pride mixed in with his nerves.

″Sweet Mahal,″ Kili breathes. ″They are beautiful, Fili.″

″I’ve never made bonding beads before,″ Fili says, glancing up at Thorin and his breath catches for Thorin’s expression seems to blaze with emotion.

There is heat there and also some relief, but there is something else that makes Fili’s mouth go dry. His nerves seem to be swept away as he recognises the look in Thorin’s eyes and he reaches out with one hand, running his fingers lightly through Thorin’s hair, and trailing them along a braid.

″Will you wear my bead?″ he asks formally.

″I will,″ Thorin answers instantly, in full Alpha voice that Fili feels right down to his toes.

″Kili,″ Fili says, turning to look at his brother, ″will you-″

″Yes, yes, yes,″ Kili says, and Fili snorts softly in amusement. Trust Kili to toss his head at tradition, he thinks, but his eagerness _is_ flattering.

″Fili,″ Thorin says, and Fili turns his head to be met with Thorin’s lips in a searing kiss, even as Kili moves closer, his arm sliding around Fili’s waist. The kiss finally ends but Thorin stays close, his forehead resting against Fili’s.

It’s the first time – well, the first time that he can actually clearly remember, Fili thinks wryly – where all three of them have been together during such an intimate moment and Fili is a little surprised at how natural it feels.

″Do we have time to do this now?″ Kili says, and the Alpha note is in his voice as well, making Fili’s eyes lock onto him. ″I _really_ don’t want to wait."

″Do you know the Words?″ Thorin asks.

″I remember them,″ Kili says.

″Fili?″

″I do as well,″ Fili says, his heart thudding in his chest. He can tell by the look in Kili’s eyes that he’s feeling just as nervous and the idea settles him a little.

Dwarves don’t have much in the way of magic or spells, beyond their talents at the Crafts, but the bonding ceremony is one of them and the Words, Fili remembers, are the key. Especially as they are spoken in Khuzdul, which has its own power. He’d been taught the Words years ago and luckily, considering that Fili had never expected to be an Omega, they are the same for Alpha, Beta and Omega alike.

He’s never witnessed a bonding ceremony either because, as dwarves traditionally view it as an intensely private moment, only the participants are ever present. It’s a simple rite though and he knows what to do.

He places the box on the table as Thorin and Kili take their places on either side of him. Oddly enough he’s now feeling serenely calm as he takes the first bead out of the box and turns to Thorin, who as the older Alpha must be bound first.

Thorin bows his head and Fili selects a lock of his hair on the left side of his head and begins to braid quickly, and when he reaches the end and places the bonding bead into the braid he repeats the Words, the same Words that will be repeated for each braid that they create during the ceremony.

″ _Aban ana aban_

_Atam ana atam_

_Damâm ana damâm_

_Kurdu ana kurdu_

_E Naiblili″_

A slight tingle goes through his fingers as he recites the final line and he gives Thorin a startled look, but Thorin just smiles, his eyes full of reassurance.

When he turns to Kili, he can see the excitement in Kili’s eyes, and he smiles wryly for this will be Kili’s first braid and he’d never thought that his brother, who has always resisted them in the past, would ever be so happy to have one. The same tingle passes through his fingers into the bonding bead when he recites the Words and Fili realises that it is the power of the binding between them.

He takes a deep breath as both Thorin and Kili pick up the remaining two beads and then bows his head as they each place a braid on either side of his head. Once the beads are in and they have said the Words, Fili can feel the weight of each bead increase and he knows that the power of the binding will only leave the beads through death.

″Oh my,″ Kili says. ″That feels good.″

And it does, Fili agrees silently. The bond strengthens him in ways that he’s never imagined and he feels closer to them than ever. It’s also with some relief that he realises that their bond is so strong, such a powerful blood tie, that he will never feel the affects of any other Alpha's voice of seduction. Only Thorin and Kili will have that power of enticement over him and the trust winding through the bond allows him to believe that they will never use it to have an advantage over him, for they are his as much as he is theirs. And that knowledge is the bond's final blessing.

″I love you,″ he whispers. It’s the first time he’s said the words to both of them and, as they settle between them all, it feels _right_. He receives deep kisses from both of his Alphas and Fili is feeling breathless when Kili finally draws away.

″We have to go,″ Thorin says, reluctantly.

″Right,″ Kili says. ″Well, lets get out there and show off these beads then."

The proud, possessive note in Kili’s voice is clear and Fili smiles a little as he follows them out into the passage. He feels something similar himself, a sort of eagerness to show the unbonded Alphas out there that he’s no longer available, or affected by them… and that Thorin and Kili belong to him.

The reaction when they enter the Great Hall is immediate as all of the Alphas present immediately sense that Fili is no longer an unbonded Omega. As for himself, his awareness of the Alphas who are unbonded is now as muted as his sense had been previously for the bonded Alphas and he lets out a little sigh of relief, for he has to admit the feeling is a lot more comfortable.

For a moment there is silence and then Dis and Gairin rush over to them, embracing them all and offering low-voiced congratulations and that seems to be the signal for everyone else to follow.

Eventually the excitement dies down and they take their seats at the High Table with Dain. By this time Fili is ravenous and he attacks his plate with relish even as he hears Dain talking to Thorin in a quiet voice.

″Cousin,″ Dain says. ″I’m very happy for you and I’m glad to see you but I still don’t understand exactly why you all came here. And I have a feeling that I’m never going to get that explanation from you.″

″Probably not,″ Thorin agrees, serenely. ″I think that perhaps all you really need to know is that it was worth it.″

″Aye,″ Dain sighs, but when Fili glances at him he can see the twinkle in Dain’s eyes. ″Perhaps I really wouldn’t want to know anyway. And at least it gives us an excuse for an even bigger feast tonight. In fact, I think we should cancel this rather tedious meeting you have planned and have a day of celebration.″

Fili hears Thorin's low laugh and the happiness in it makes his heart sing.

″Yes,″ Thorin agrees. ″Maybe we should at that.″

Fili smiles to himself and shakes his head a little, enjoying the weight of the new beads in his hair. He’s come a long way in a short time and he’s changed in more ways than he could ever have expected. Some of it has not been easy, he reflects, but he finds that he has to agree with Thorin.

In the end, it has been worth it.

 

The End

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in two minds about whether to have more smut in this chapter but eventually it just didn't feel quite right, hence the shortness of it. 
> 
> The bonding ceremony: Basically I had to create this from the words that were available in Khuzdul, and who freakin' knows if I’ve done it correctly because I am no linguist that's for sure. But here is the meaning:
> 
>  _Aban ana aban_ :...................Stone to stone  
>  _Atam ana atam_ :..................Breath to breath  
>  _Damâm ana damâm_ :...........Blood to blood  
>  _Kurdu ana kurdu_ :................Heart to heart  
>  _E Naiblili_ :.............................I bind together


End file.
